Insecurity

Insecurity Keeps us in a prison of our own making.

  An insecure person is one of the most dangerous people on the planet...to themselves and to anyone around them. That is a bold statement to begin a brief note about the topic of insecurity. What does it mean to be insecure?  An insecure person is someone who is not confident or sure....uncertain....not firmly rooted, fastened or fixed. Insecurity flows out of identity confusion. When you don't know who you really are as a person, it's impossible to feel secure in oneself. Symptoms of insecurity include fear, anxiety, jealousy and envy.

  An insecure person is someone who spends tremendous effort in hiding who they really are. They tend to spend money and time looking and acting like others in their peer group. There is a a tendency to focus on appearances and not on deeper issues of character and commitment. Emotionally and relationally, insecurity breeds a tendency toward holding on to what should be released or rejected. An insecure person ironically has great difficulty in receiving affirmation, forgiveness and acceptance.

  When insecurity steers your soul, collisions and conflict are inevitable. Insecure people tend to have revolving door relationships and friendships. When you don't like who you are, you inevitably don't believe that others are capable of liking you either. This leads to the development of relational schizophrenia. You become adept at developing multiple personalities that you 'wear' depending upon who you are with at the moment. Conflict in relationships for the insecure is inevitable because all relationships demand some level of honesty and transparency. When people begin to unravel your masks, you react and strike back out of your your own inherent anxiety and fears. The result is the tendency to withdrawl and abandon... and start the same unhealthy cycle all over again. A lot of people know your name... but no one really knows you. Insecure people are deeply lonely and isolated no matter how busy their social calendar. Since insecure people are seeking for acceptance and love using artificial and ineffective methods, they frequently act out to reduce their inner pain. The acting out can involve sexual promiscuity, abuse of drugs or alcohol or physical and emotional abuse. An insecure person feels a lack of control over their lives. They can't stand being alone, but because of self deception and the wearing of masks they always feel alone. No one really know a truly insecure person.

  What is the way out of relational prison for an insecure person? The foundational principle in all of life's inner healing is this: God cannot fix something that we deny is broken. The first step to healing is always to admit and reveal our broken places. Jesus profoundly tells us of a progressive healing of the soul that comes when we apply truth to our lives, "You shall know the truth... and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) God wants to transform us into who we really were born to be. He does this by changing the way we think about ourselves. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (Romans 12:2)

  People get lost physically because they don't know where they are. People get lost spiritually because they don't know who they are. God's word provides the answer regarding our identity issues to all who will be humble enough to ask, seek and knock.

  You were born to be loved.You have to know who you are before you know what to do. In an atmosphere of of love, acceptance and forgiveness we become who God created us to be. Insecurity dissipates over time when we know we're loved for who we really are. We can lay aside the masks and self deception and for the first time experience the power and pure joy of relational intimacy. You can be healed of insecurity..... you must be healed. Let's walk into the light of God's love, acceptance and forgiveness together....welcome home...welcome to love.

Jim