In the fall of 1994 I was working in Northern Pakistan to help establish an eye hospital there. My mother who had been battling leukemia had taken a turn for the worse and I was told to urgently return home. It was thought she had at most 30 days to live. At that time our 3 children were quite young. My daughter Gabriella was just 5 months old as we traveled the long journey home to Malvern, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philadelphia.
At one point during our time home caring for my mom, my wife and children remained at her parents home in Long Island. One night I heard a loud crash outside my bedroom door in the middle of the night. I rushed out to find my mom having fallen into the bathtub. She seemed confused and embarrassed but not seriously injured. I picked her up and helped her back to bed. At that point I made an internal decision.... I would hear better, I would listen closer so that my mom would not be injured at night by something like what I had just witnessed. Our ability to hear.....or not hear is something we have some control over. People who live in busy city streets or near airports over time develop an ability to 'tune out' the noise surrounding them. I needed an ability to 'tune in' to my mothers movements during her illness. I have always been a 'light sleeper' but now I was on watch for whatever my mom might need.
During this time I also began to try to listen more intently for the voice of God in my life. I was at a critical point in my life. I was 35 years old. I had counted the cost to serve God in Pakistan. I had quit my job as an ICU nurse, sold our home and possessions and was preparing to spend the balance of my life working in Pakistan as a nurse. But while I had one ear tuned to my mothers needs, I was also dialing in the frequency of what God might be saying to me about my life. God, what do you want? What have you made me to do? How should I be preparing for the future you have planned for me? Do you ask God those kinds of questions? When you take the time to listen hard and you're desperate to know his voice, your hearing vastly improves. One day as I was listening in for God to speak, I heard him say to my heart, "I want you to prepare to be a Pastor." This word from God both surprised and frightened me at first. I had been spending over a decade preparing to be a nurse and a specialist in eye care....now what did God have in mind? There was no clear word from God other than that simple phrase.... prepare to be a Pastor. I didn't have a clue what that meant but continued to pray and do what I knew to do. I had always been a student of the Bible including formal study at Christ for the Nations and Liberty Bible College. I am someone who is constantly reading and studying everything I can lay my hands on. But there was now a different focus and purpose behind my study. I began to pray and prepare with no specific time table in mind. I would just listen and wait on God.... and do what he said, one step at a time.
I returned to Pakistan and spent 4 more years working there and completed my goal of helping establishing the Gilgit Eye Hospital as a nurse there. Many years later in 2009, God said NOW to the word whispered to me years ago to prepare to be a Pastor. In the spring of 2009 over 15 years after hearing the word to prepare to be a Pastor, I received permission and the freedom to begin All Nations Community Church. Listening is hard. Our souls are seldom quiet enough to hear in depth what God might be saying. We have our own ideas, thoughts and plans. To hear God implies a willingness to listen, obey and yield to his authority. Sometimes we hear God say something and run past what has been revealed.... we try to 'fill in the gaps' and have God bless our 'mess'.
To be a good listener you have to be a good lover. You learn to listen well when your attention and your focus is off of yourself and on the object of your desire. We hear so much better when we allow love to overwhelm our hearts. Do you love God? Do you want to know him? It's imperative that we learn to listen to his voice above all others clamoring for our soul. Intimacy is deepened and strengthened as we respond to his voice above all others. You can trust what the Father wills for your life. He knows you.... he loves you and his desire for your life is what you desperately want as well. Open your heart, your eyes, your ears and begin to listen for the voice of love.
Jim
At one point during our time home caring for my mom, my wife and children remained at her parents home in Long Island. One night I heard a loud crash outside my bedroom door in the middle of the night. I rushed out to find my mom having fallen into the bathtub. She seemed confused and embarrassed but not seriously injured. I picked her up and helped her back to bed. At that point I made an internal decision.... I would hear better, I would listen closer so that my mom would not be injured at night by something like what I had just witnessed. Our ability to hear.....or not hear is something we have some control over. People who live in busy city streets or near airports over time develop an ability to 'tune out' the noise surrounding them. I needed an ability to 'tune in' to my mothers movements during her illness. I have always been a 'light sleeper' but now I was on watch for whatever my mom might need.
During this time I also began to try to listen more intently for the voice of God in my life. I was at a critical point in my life. I was 35 years old. I had counted the cost to serve God in Pakistan. I had quit my job as an ICU nurse, sold our home and possessions and was preparing to spend the balance of my life working in Pakistan as a nurse. But while I had one ear tuned to my mothers needs, I was also dialing in the frequency of what God might be saying to me about my life. God, what do you want? What have you made me to do? How should I be preparing for the future you have planned for me? Do you ask God those kinds of questions? When you take the time to listen hard and you're desperate to know his voice, your hearing vastly improves. One day as I was listening in for God to speak, I heard him say to my heart, "I want you to prepare to be a Pastor." This word from God both surprised and frightened me at first. I had been spending over a decade preparing to be a nurse and a specialist in eye care....now what did God have in mind? There was no clear word from God other than that simple phrase.... prepare to be a Pastor. I didn't have a clue what that meant but continued to pray and do what I knew to do. I had always been a student of the Bible including formal study at Christ for the Nations and Liberty Bible College. I am someone who is constantly reading and studying everything I can lay my hands on. But there was now a different focus and purpose behind my study. I began to pray and prepare with no specific time table in mind. I would just listen and wait on God.... and do what he said, one step at a time.
I returned to Pakistan and spent 4 more years working there and completed my goal of helping establishing the Gilgit Eye Hospital as a nurse there. Many years later in 2009, God said NOW to the word whispered to me years ago to prepare to be a Pastor. In the spring of 2009 over 15 years after hearing the word to prepare to be a Pastor, I received permission and the freedom to begin All Nations Community Church. Listening is hard. Our souls are seldom quiet enough to hear in depth what God might be saying. We have our own ideas, thoughts and plans. To hear God implies a willingness to listen, obey and yield to his authority. Sometimes we hear God say something and run past what has been revealed.... we try to 'fill in the gaps' and have God bless our 'mess'.
To be a good listener you have to be a good lover. You learn to listen well when your attention and your focus is off of yourself and on the object of your desire. We hear so much better when we allow love to overwhelm our hearts. Do you love God? Do you want to know him? It's imperative that we learn to listen to his voice above all others clamoring for our soul. Intimacy is deepened and strengthened as we respond to his voice above all others. You can trust what the Father wills for your life. He knows you.... he loves you and his desire for your life is what you desperately want as well. Open your heart, your eyes, your ears and begin to listen for the voice of love.
Jim
Thank you Jim. I needed that.
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