Intimacy Killers: Infidelity

  In order to develop and maintain intimacy in our relationships we must have a character quality known as fidelity.  Fidelity is defined as faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray. Intimacy demands loyalty and devotion to whom we are committed. 

  Infidelity in relationships between men and women is one of the most frequently cited causes for relational failure. It is important we understand the why behind the necessity of faithfulness and fidelity in our relationships. When we go back to our 'relational roots' in the book of Genesis we see that intimacy and satisfaction in relationship was a God idea. Men and women were joined in a mutually satisfying unique creation.... the two were united into one. They were completely intimate, vulnerable, satisfied and without shame. ( see Genesis 2:18-25)

  Infidelity is more than an isolated physical act or relationship outside of marriage. Infidelity is rooted in the false belief that we can find 'what we're looking for' in intimacy outside of a committed relationship. It's a lie that plays upon our broken and sinful nature guaranteeing what it can never deliver. The sin trap begins when we look beyond the truth right in front of us to embrace the lie just beyond us. In the context of relational intimacy, infidelity often begins with lust. Lust is defined as unbridled sexual desire. Lust allows  the eyes and heart to wander outside of what is righteous and true. It seeks to take what it wants. It's not rooted in true love...it demands, it grabs. Lust is rooted in selfish desire though it often acts the part of genuine love. Jesus tells us that 'anyone who even looks on a woman with lust in his eye has  already committed adultery with her in his heart'. In a society and culture saturated with sexual imagery, its little wonder we have so few truly committed and intimate relationships. Betrayal is an act that damages all three dimensions of who we are as men and women. (Body, Soul & Spirit)

  Infidelity impacts our physical, emotional and spiritual selves. Once we cross the line of faithfulness in our marriage, we damage both ourselves and those who we claim to love. If you are married and you seek for intimacy outside of a relationship with your husband or wife you are guilty of infidelity and in danger of destroying yourself and your spouse.

  There is something uniquely destructive to human beings when we are guilty of sexual immorality. In 1 Corinthians chapter 6 we read, "But our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise our bodies from the dead by his marvelous power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead. Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man (or woman) take his body which belongs to Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don't you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the scriptures say, "The two become one." But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."

  When we sexually unite with another human we become "one" with that person in every conceivable dimension. There is no such thing as 'casual sex'.  What God created for committed relationship is beautiful and satisfying in the right context. When we take our sexuality and spread it around beyond the safe boundaries of committed love we damage every aspect of our humanity. The intimacy we seek through unbridled sexual relationships often ensures we will never find what we're looking for.

  Real intimacy demands committed and life long relationships which are willing to work through differences, disappointments and disagreements. Intimacy at its core is a spiritual reality that must involve the foundation stones of faith, hope and love. The counterfeits of self, lust and sensuality will never satisfy ultimately. Life long love is built on spiritual substance that will never fail us, never leave us, and never forsake. True intimacy is rooted in a God of love who can make all things new in our relationships. He can heal our broken hearts and give us pure desires. Today, I urge you to forsake infidelity and lust for the real deal of committed love. Intimacy awaits.