When building anything the most important step is to ensure your foundation is strong and secure. When it comes to relationships of significance the great initiator must be the Lord. In the book of Genesis we see the revelation that God knows what we need before we do. In Genesis 2: 18 we read, "And the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." One of the most important things for us to realize in life is that God knows what we need and desires to provide for that need. When we seek to meet our needs apart from him we breed confusion and complication. To what extent are we willing to wait for God's provision in the area of friendships and even future marriage partners? In this most essential area of need we are in practice most often 100 percent atheists.
In initiating the provision of an intimate life partner Adam begins in the position of utter dependence: SLEEPING! From Genesis 2:21, "So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam... In the right time, at the right place, for the right reasons, God provided something precious to Adam. And he will do the same for all of us. The need for intimacy ( defined as the ability to reveal oneself without regret) is universal.
The response of Adam connecting in a deep way to Eve is poetic and beautiful, "At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called 'woman' because she was taken out of man." When we connect with people whom GOD has brought into our lives there is a deep and abiding sense of completeness. In the case of marriage the physical union of intimacy is indeed heaven sent and Holy... two united into one, naked and with no shame.
At the point of brokenness in our relationship with the great initiator (God the Father) all HELL literally breaks loose into our places of intimacy... our house becomes DIVIDED. The love that we need and long for has a tap root and it is in the person of God. And yet God sees us and out of his own understanding of who we are provides us with people whom he has chosen to walk with us in life. As John Donne has said, "No man is an island, entire of itself...." The sooner we understand that we were born for love and surrender that need to God himself, the sooner we will be healed and satisfied in a life sustaining way. You cannot apart from God fill up your soul with the proper balance of love for God and people. We are always stretched out of balance when we seek on our own to fulfill our need for relational intimacy. You have been WIRED for relationships not born of selfishness but selflessness. Apart from God, we are our own worst enemy.
Deep down, most people are inexorably lonely and broken on the inside... we stuff ourselves with perversion of every kind to cover that sickness. It's time to knock the house down of our own making. Instead let us build a life of relationships where we respond to what God provides and not what we can grasp or control in ourselves. To be intimate in life is not an option... we must have what God himself saw as a deep need... and let him do it for us. Let' pray right now, "Father God, I ask you to allow me to reveal who I am to those whom you have prepared in advance... without regret!"
Jim
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