A Dream and a Prayer

In the early morning hours of November 5th, 2009, I had a dream that lasted for what seemed a long period of time and when I awoke it left me feeling stunned. In the dream I was with Mary and my family in a small town in America. We were driving somewhere when we saw protesters in the streets. They were marching peacefully and holding signs. They appeared to be wanting to garner support from the observing public. Suddenly, the protesters threw down their signs and began to commit small acts of violence and were moving toward our car. Like kerosene poured on a fire the mob was spreading rapidly and searching for blood to avenge their grievances. Our family abandoned our vehicle and we were being separated. Suddenly, the crowd had cornered my wife Mary and chased her down a series of concrete steps. I was helpless as I watched Mary fall down the steps and her head hit the bottom step... and I awoke. 

I asked God a question. What was the dream about. The answer? One word: Anarchy. I felt God saying that the troubles that are about to come upon our world are going to force troubled people to violence and actions which will harm many innocent lives. Later that same day I watched transfixed as the news media reported on the sudden attack at Fort Hood by Major Hasan, the traitor. When an individual or groups of individuals believe lies about reality they can moved to do great evil in our world. Ultimately spiritual forces are at war in the minds of the vulnerable.

We desperately need to recover a dependence on truth and love for our lives and our communities. Chaos and anarchy breed repetitive acts of vengeance and horror. If we fail to act now to love our neighbors and stand against evil we could very well see my dream become a reality. I hope it doesn't happen but perhaps we need to do more to build trust and harmony now before the trials of this recession breed more fear. Join me in praying that my dream never happens in real life.
Jim

Waiting on a Miracle

When we're in need it's hard to wait. Depending on the severity of the need the wait gets progressively harder. When we know a loved one whose life is in danger...when we are out of money and bills are due....when the ones we love the most break relationship with us. We want solutions in our most desperate hours and we want them now! For several years I worked as an ICU and CCU nurse. As a fresh graduate working in critical situations I tried to use humor to remain calm in the face of 'code' situations. My co-worker and I Jeff used to look at one another with a silly grin (to calm our nerves) when a patient's heart stopped or other code blue emergency... then we would always say something like 'we've got 4 minutes' (till brain death) and then move deliberately and carefully to deliver excellent care. It's so easy to become emotionally unstable when we finally realize we are not in control of life. In our desperate desire to change our destiny we can become angry and bitter when we don't get what we want....when we want it. It's hard to wait for our miracle.

  Knowing God and loving him doesn't ensure that we will get what we want, when we want it.  In the gospel of John we read of one of Jesus friends becoming ill and dying.  Lazarus had become seriously ill and his sisters Mary and Martha had called for Jesus to come and heal him. Jesus certainly had the power to heal Lazarus.... and he had every intention to do so.... just not in the way and time that his sisters desired or imagined. Jesus did the inexplicable and waited 2 days before moving in the direction of Lazarus. Those two days were critical.... Lazarus died during that time!  When Jesus finally arrived to the home of Mary and Martha, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days! Mary and Martha were in the process of grieving and mourning the loss of their beloved brother when Jesus finally comes on the scene... they proclaim their faith in the power of Jesus to have healed the living Lazarus....but alas Lazarus is dead.

  We all have limits to our faith and trust in God. We don't know what those limits are until we arrive at our own personal 'Code Blue' situations in life. When our child is critically ill. Our spouse dies. Our marriage falters. Our job ends. Death comes in many ways and it often comes suddenly without warning.  Jesus speaks to the grieving family and makes a proclamation about who he is and what he wants to do for Lazarus, "I am the resurrection and the life." Those who believe in me, even though they die like everyone else, will live again. They are given eternal life for believing in me and will never perish." (John 11:25-26) In spite of physical death and all the impossibilities that lied in front of him, Jesus spoke a few words and created a new reality for Lazarus and his family. Entombed in a  cave and wrapped in burial clothes, Jesus spoke, "Lazarus, come out!"  Lazarus came back from the dead. A miracle occurred and an important lesson was learned by all those who loved Lazarus. God cared. God came on his terms. God intervened in the way that brought him greatest glory. God simply put is GOD....and by implication, we are not.

  From 1990 to 1995, my mother battled Chronic Myelogenic Leukemia. I was waiting on a miracle of healing all during this time frame. In the fall of 1994 I was contacted in Pakistan (working to establish an eye hospital there) and told my mother had 30 days to live. I packed up our belongings quickly and informed my teammates I had to rush home. Our family of 5 were hoping to see my mom one more time before she went to heaven. We arrived home and indeed my mother was very ill. During one night while at home my mother went into a semi coma and had a very high fever. Her breathing was failing and I told my father she would likely not live through the night. I called other family members and told them death could be imminent. However, in spite of this my mother rallied and lived much longer than Doctors had predicted. Finally on Christmas day, 1995 ( I was back in Pakistan) her condition worsened again. My mother was born on Christmas day and had told the family she wanted to live until her birthday. On that day though unable to speak she apparently could hear. My sister told her it was her birthday and then she relaxed and went to be with the Lord.  I wanted my mom to live a long, long time.  She didn't.  I waited on a miracle and didn't receive exactly what I wanted. But I did receive so much during that time. While caring for my mother in our home, I heard God tell me things that can only be described as a call. I remember him telling me in December, 1994 to prepare to become a Pastor. I am now the Pastor of All Nations Community Church in Mobile, Alabama. While we're waiting on a miracle, God often does something very miraculous on the inside of us. He shapes our hearts and softens them with compassion and caring for others beyond our natural abilities. Perhaps the greatest miracles of all are what God does on the inside of us. In some ways, the greatest miracles are what God does in and through us to others.

  A few weeks ago I found out I have a cancerous tumor behind my right eye. It's a bit unnerving to know you have something inside of you trying to kill you. Once you realize it's there you want it out! However, once I realized that I had cancer I felt God saying to me, "Be patient, don't worry and don't try to take control. Trust me." I was originally scheduled to have surgery on December 2nd but now it has been delayed one week.  I have every reason to believe that any delay is God designed and planned and there is no reason to fear or be dismayed.  When Jesus found out his friend had died it was recorded in history as the shortest verse in the Bible, "Jesus wept."(John 11:35) Jesus truly loved Lazarus. I believe and know that Jesus loves me..... and he loves you too. While you're waiting on your miracle (as I am) it's vital to remember that.

He's coming. He's coming at the right time. He's coming with the right answer for you and for me.
Trust him.
Jim

Walking Wounded

One of the most unique and fascinating characters in the bible is the Old Testament patriarch Jacob. His name means deceiver. Jacob lived up to his name. He wanted to be blessed. He wanted advantage and privilege in his life and he was willing to do whatever it took to gain the upper hand. But there is a cost to 'looking out for #1' and it is in the area of relationships. No one wants to be used and manipulated for someone else's selfish gain. But that is what Jacob was doing and it was costing him deeply. At a pivotal point in his life while trying to negotiate his way out of trouble, he encounters God in a miraculous and unique way. The imagery is fascinating and challenging to comprehend. In Genesis 32 we see an intense encounter between Jacob and God that leaves the 'deceiving' Jacob with a lasting wound. He is left with a lifetime wound.... a  hip that will forever be 'out of socket' and leave him limping for life.  Even in the midst of pain, Jacob wants something out of the encounter. God being gracious gives him what he really needs..... a new name....representing a change in character.  Jacob would no longer be the deceiver and manipulator. Out of his encounter with God he would be now known as Israel.... one who struggled with God and became a prince of God.
  In our struggles in life... with ourselves and others we often get wounded. Often those wounds leave very visible and lasting marks on our lives. Our bodies, souls and spirits are deeply impacted by our own deceit, disappointments and defeats. What do you do with your disappointments? Who do you go to in your 'hour of need'? Those who impact us the deepest during our times of struggle and adversity are not those who sail through life encountering no storms. In our hour of need we approach those who have successfully navigated their way through the storm. We often find those with visible or invisible scars have both the knowledge and the desire to help us in our time of need.
  At every moment in life when God has begun to stir my soul about what lies ahead in serving him he reminds me of the need to depend totally upon his grace in my life. The world celebrates the strong and the mighty. God uses the weak and the wounded.... the imperfect and the humble.
  Today, perhaps you are feeling vulnerable and weak. You have failed or fallen into a place where you notice your imperfections and weaknesses most of all. Don't lose hope. Keep moving into the direction of God's grace. He wants to give you a new name.... a new vision.... a new opportunity.... to live for him and to reflect his love and grace to a world of walking wounded.

Jim

Embracing Change

 When you mention the word change in any conversation these days you can almost guarantee eliciting a reaction of anxiety or frustration. How can any of us possibly adjust to any more CHANGE in our lives?  In our work, relationships and even our leisure there seems to be an unending need to adjust and adapt. Once we learn a new skill to enable us to cope and live in the present modern world another " 20 something" genius comes along and creates another billion dollar social change we can't live without.

   The 2010 Time magazine man of the year was the founder of the social media giant Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. Mark at age 26 has changed the world and shaken the preexisting internet empires by creating a simple to use tool first developed for communicating with friends on his college campus. In just several years it has gone viral and now impacts over 800 million people daily. In 5 or 10 years, Facebook might be considered old school and perhaps no longer popular at all....unless it chooses to make change a friend.

  In order to live successful and meaningful lives we have to choose to make change a friend.  Change is inevitable, constant and unrelenting. History is going somewhere whether we like it or not! You and I are not the center of the universe! Once we realize this we can get over ourselves and adjust our expectations and move in synchronization with where life is meant to take us.

  You were created by God. If you are at present an atheist or an agnostic, I apologize for my abruptness. Nevertheless, understanding that reality is a necessary precursor to understanding the direction, purpose and destination in life for all of us. When we understand where life is taking us, we are less apt to resist and reject the constant and seemingly overwhelming changes that assault our 'comfort zones'. Instead of lamenting over what was, we should be investing and building what will be! Faith and hope are spiritual  and they enable the willing and cooperative soul to move forward into what will be, with the knowledge that ultimately good will come. Fear, hopelessness and resistance to change are signs of spiritual death and decay. No amount of energy, money or time will resurrect or restore what no longer exists.... and what God can no longer bless. If the past is dead and gone, why do so many people choose to live there?

  People live in the past because they allow an experience, a person or an identity to dominate their reality. Since experiences, people and our personal identity are not static we become overwhelmed when 'time marches on'. Everyone knows about the culture of celebrity and fame that frames people based upon some high point in their life.... the sales man of the year for the product no longer sold.... the washed up former boxer taking too many hits to the head...... the obscure T.V. star doing late night commercials to pull in needed cash. We stop growing and maturing and changing and hoping that we can continue to ride the proverbial 'dead horse' into the future. However, no amount of whining, wailing or wishing will bring back the past glory...it's gone forever.

  When we truly believe in a good God, we will have the 'stuff' that enables us to make change our friend. When we resist the rapid pace of change, we resist the blessing and foresight of our loving God. God is not dead and he is ultimately and completely in charge of history. I find it deeply disappointing that some of the most resistant people to change on the planet are 'religious'. They hearken us back to yesterday....constantly. Yes, I know we can and must learn from our history and the heritage deposited in us. But......faith is a spiritual substance  that takes us forward in relationship with God and with one another..... to a future and a hope prepared for us before the foundation of the world!

 "Faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. For by it our ancestors were approved. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so what is seen has been made from things that are not visible." (Hebrews 11: 1-3) Change is not an enemy, it's a friend calling you into the future....it's the voice of a loving God who is walking before you.....creating opportunities, favor, blessing, provision and relationships that will satisfy you beyond your wildest dreams. Today, join me and God.... and make change a friend.

Jim

Finding Healing for Insecurity

  An insecure person is one of the most dangerous people on the planet...to themselves and to anyone around them. That is a bold statement to begin a brief note about the topic of insecurity. What does it mean to be insecure?  An insecure person is someone who is not confident or sure....uncertain....not firmly rooted, fastened or fixed. Insecurity flows out of identity confusion. When you don't know who you really are as a person, it's impossible to feel secure in oneself. Symptoms of insecurity include fear, anxiety, jealousy and envy.

An insecure person is someone who spends tremendous effort in hiding who they really are. They tend to spend money and time looking and acting like others in their peer group. There is a a tendency to focus on appearances and not on deeper issues of character and commitment. Emotionally and relationally, insecurity breeds a tendency toward holding on to what should be released or rejected. An insecure person ironically has great difficulty in receiving affirmation, forgiveness and acceptance.

  When insecurity steers your soul, collisions and conflict are inevitable. Insecure people tend to have revolving door relationships and friendships. When you don't like who you are, you inevitably don't believe that others are capable of liking you either. This leads to the development of relational schizophrenia. You become adept at developing multiple personalities that you 'wear' depending upon who you are with at the moment. Conflict in relationships for the insecure is inevitable because all good relationships demand some level of honesty and transparency. When people begin to unravel your masks the insecure react and strike back out of their own inherent anxiety and fears. The result is the tendency to withdrawl and abandon... and start the same unhealthy cycle all over again. A lot of people know your name... but no one really knows you. Insecure people are deeply lonely and isolated no matter how busy their social calendar. Since insecure people are seeking for acceptance and love using artificial and ineffective methods, they frequently act out to reduce their inner pain. The acting out can involve sexual promiscuity, abuse of drugs or alcohol or physical and emotional abuse. An insecure person feels a lack of control over their lives. They can't stand being alone, but because of self deception and the wearing of masks they always feel alone. No one really knows a truly insecure person.

  What is the way out of relational prison for an insecure person? The foundational principle in all of life's inner healing is this: God cannot fix something that we deny is broken. The first step to healing is always to admit and reveal our broken places. Jesus profoundly tell us of a progressive healing of the soul that comes when we apply truth to our lives, "You shall know the truth... and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) God wants to transform us into who we really were born to be. He does this by changing the way we think about ourselves. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (Romans 12:2)

  People get lost physically because they don't know where they are. People get lost spiritually because they don't know who they are. God's word provides the answer regarding our identity issues to all who will be humble enough to ask, seek and knock.

  You were born to be loved. You have to know who you are before you know what to do. In an atmosphere of love, acceptance and forgiveness, we become who God created us to be. Insecurity dissipates over time when we know we're loved for who we really are. We can lay aside the masks and self deception and for the first time experience the power and pure joy of relational intimacy. You can be healed of insecurity..... you must be healed. Let's walk into the light of God's love, acceptance and forgiveness together....welcome home...welcome to love.

Jim

Sand and Wind

Here I am standing on the beach gazing at your beauty
My feet, my hands, my eyes, glued to your infinite power
Totally aware of my own weakness, I fall down and lay at your feet
The wind is coming
Your breeze caresses my cheeks while shattering my fears
I brace myself for what is coming, while leaning into grace
The wind is coming

On my knees now, I don't want to go, I must stay and linger
For you, it's you, I must yet know
The shadow is enough for some, but not for me I plead
It's you I want and not your gifts, your presence, not your bread

The wind is coming
It's setting me free,  blowing all the sin away,  and leaving only love
I'm raising hands and voice to say, to you and you alone
Send your wind Lord,  and blow away the Sand

Now I feel your breath Lord, flush against my cheek
I hear the wind and know it's you, not just what you make
Never leave, Never leave,  I'm desperate for you King
The love,  the grace, omnipotence, so close to heaven's gate

The wind is coming, there is room on heaven's beach
Feel the sand like sin blown off your flesh and heaven's fragrance lingering
He's pure,  He's love,  He's closer than we think
The Wind is Coming

Jim

The Call

  There comes a time in all our lives when we know we need something outside of ourselves to break in and show us the way forward. Often it comes in times of deep disappointment and pain. It might come after the death of a loved one, a fracture in a critical relationship, a loss of employment, a critical illness. 
Isaiah the prophet (chapter 6) responded to the death of King Uzziah with a new vision of reality. He saw things which he'd never seen....and he became someone he otherwise would have never been. Tragedy can either be an impetus to a life of meaning or lead us to a place of imprisonment. So much depends on our vision of God....and ourselves. 
Isaiah saw God for who he really is. Majestic, on the throne, surrounded by Glory and HOLY. His glory covered the whole earth. In the shadow of who God is, Isaiah also discovered who he really was....a man of unclean lips ( a sinner) surrounded by people just like him. We're all equally lost and equally separated from God until the call comes to our heart and soul. 
We were created for something greater than the soley material realm. Buying and selling... sensual pleasure and carnal desires never totally satisfy someone created in the image of God. All of us were created for relationship with our maker. Until we hear his voice beckoning us.....calling us to himself, we're only living half a life. There is a VOICE crying out to all of us. We seldom hear that voice. Our small distractions and selfish decisions keep us far removed from hearing what really matters. We insist on our own way. We hear the screaming of the selfish hordes rushing on the broad highway of destruction. 
  But God comes and touches us on the inside. He shows us our broken places. We sense our weakness. We slow down our movement on the highway of destruction. We turn our ears heavenward and begin to hear the voice calling us home. Our Father touches us and heals us....and remakes us in his image. His call thrills our soul, "Who should I send? Who will go for us?" And with humility and hope, we reply, "Here am I. Send me." He's calling you right now. Slow down, listen carefully....his call is worth everything. Listen for his voice.