Shadows and Valleys

  To live a life of faith and dependence on God creates an astounding and challending pilgrimmage experience. Faith yields both great blessing and also great challenges. Faith and mystery are inextricably linked. To live by faith implies a surrender of will and ultimately control. One minute we see astounding and stunning response to our prayers for healing and provision.... and the next minute we see and experience deep sorrow at the unexpected tragedies of death, disease and despair. Faith is real, faith is substance and yet faith often is 'not yet' in terms of satisfaction and fulfillment.

  The Psalmist David who knew and  loved God, expressed it so well in Psalm 23, "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and staff protect and comfort me." Perhaps the greatest paradox in life and in faith is that we grow deepest and more mature in times of testing and not in times of tranquility. The storm draws us closer to what matters...and separates, sifts and silences the less important voices.

  The destination of faith is not dream like contentment but vital, lasting and intense engagement in relationship with God. We are being called not somewhere 'over the rainbow' to a fictitious paradise. No, we are being called to someone... to be with someone...forever. The trials and turmoil are not meant to torment us but to test our faith... and remove the empty profession and artifical proclamation. Do we really believe? It's in the shadows and valleys that we find the answer.

Jim

Why?

When tragedy strikes our first emotional response is to ask the question, Why? Pain and suffering produce a loss of control that we desperately want answers for. When the answers are hard to find and uncertain it breeds an increasing pressure and emotional pain. The prevailing assumption is often that we suffer as a result of wrongs we have done...that there is a direct correlation between our sin and whether or not we suffer in this life.

  In trying to answer the why questions in life we often wind up with more worries and frustration. It seems as if the trials, tragedies and turmoil of life leave us searching for easy answers. There has to be an answer to the problem of suffering....doesn't there?

  I have long struggled with whether or not I should in the midst of a catastrophe or trial to ask the question why. Counselors are almost unanimous with their advice to not ask the question.... at least initially. I tend to agree. But I want to dig a little deeper today. Just because a question is difficult to answer does not mean it should not be asked. I think it's more important to probe a little deeper and ask, "Why, do I need to know why?"

  I think I have an answer for the motivation and consuming desire to know why we are undergoing suffering and tragedy in life. The answer lies at the heart of who we really are. When we look in the mirror we see our physical self (for better or worse) but inside of all of us lies the real person. We are made up of body, soul and spirit. Our spirit and soul connect with an eternal reality that was created to live forever in harmony with God. We can't articulate that eternal consciousness in words but when we are ill or broken in any dimension of our lives we feel a disconnect.... we simply know, "something isn't right."

In the beginning God created us..... and it was good.....all good. Something obviously went wrong somewhere. The Bible clearly tell us what happened but we wax and wane in our actual belief in that revelation. The devastation wrought by sin is immense. We are all being deeply impacted by a cosmic rebellion on earth. So why should that effect me? I want to do the right thing. I believe in God..... I love people......I want peace in the world!

  John Donne the poet put it this way, "No man is an island, entire of itself.....". Our lives are deeply intertwined. Your suffering, your brokenness, your happiness, your blessing, your wealth, your poverty.....are all mine as well. Truly, not a single one of us is an island cut off from the other. No matter how high the walls we build around our castles of prosperity we are all subject to pain and suffering of every conceivable kind. So in the light of this truth, how do we then respond when tragedy strikes?

In the gospel of John chapter 9, Jesus was asked by his followers about a man they saw who had been born blind, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" What a tragedy to walk through life being judged for something we have no control over. In our broken world we have to be careful we don't put people into categories and write them off based upon what we can see with our limited and finite human senses and resources. Jesus answer to this question should bring you great liberty and freedom in dealing with our own faults, trials and uncertainties.... listen carefully to his response. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, Jesus answered.  This came about, so that God's works might be displayed in him. We must do the works of him who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

  Jesus then proceeded to heal the man born blind and the rest of the chapter shows him dealing with the deceptions and hardness of heart of the prevailing religious culture of his day. The truth is that God is light. In the midst of a broken world he is wanting to heal, restore and bring hope. Religion keeps people in boxes of guilt, despair and darkness. The religious mind set wants to have an overriding simplistic approach to suffering in this world that is grossly and tragically wrong. The rain, Jesus said, falls on the just and unjust. In our times of brokenness, the only proper response is to allow God to come in and work his will into our lives. When we surrender to God in the midst of the unknown outcomes of tragedy, light begins to dawn in amazing though unpredictable ways.

  In case you haven't realized it yet, we are not in control. No matter how intricate and detailed your preparations and plans, life throws curve balls! In tragedy, the most simple and heart felt prayers produce the best results. I find that crying out, "HELP!" has been quite effective in my life. I know it is not the most profound prayer but it places me in line with the deepest understanding of God and myself I have received thus far, "God is big..... and I am small."

  Are you struggling with a personal tragedy in your life?  Perhaps you or someone you love is ill, depressed or in a serious financial crisis. I have heard it said that we are all either moving in the direction of a trial, in one now, or just coming out of one. May God grant us the faith to understand that when bad things happen to us he has not stopped loving us. Tragedy can either embitter us or make us better. The choice before us is one burrowed deeply into the will of our soul. The one word that determines everything in our times of trial is SURRENDER.  Surrender of control needs to be based upon a revelation that is both profound and deeply moving, God is love. I cannot reveal that to you. But I can tell you that I have known and experienced that love in the midst of dark days and sleepless nights. Weeping may endure for the dark night of our souls.... but joy comes in the morning.

Much love;

Jim

Right Turn to Birmingham

On my way to Nepal, I took a wrong turn and wound up in Birmingham, Alabama.  A few weeks ago I wrote about my impending mission trip to Nepal. I had spent about a year planning on helping lead a team of people to serve  the ministry of Compassion for Asia in Kathmandu. Just prior to leaving I found out that I have a cancerous tumor growing in the back of my right eye. I have had various emotions hit me over the last two weeks as I process the 'wrong turn' that led me to Birmingham, Alabama. It's one thing to understand and believe that God is sovereign when he does what you want and expect with your life. But what about when our well laid plans are cancelled or altered? Well I am finding out it's not as easy as I thought! I have spent the last 31 years of my life immersing myself in the truth of God's word. It's a really good thing to have your soul saturated with truth. When we're wounded, disappointed and fearful our mind can do strange things. By God's grace which is delivered through prayer and the word of God I've had an amazing peace on the inside of my life during this time.
  Yesterday the radiologist who specializes in cancer treatment discussed my treatment with me. He gave me the facts regarding my prognosis and the effect that radiation will have on the cancer and also on my eye. The facts were stark and serious.... but God is loving and he never stopped talking while Dr. Kim delivered his sobering assessment.  One phrase of God's word has kept coming to the surface of my soul over the last several days...'momentary and light affliction'. I felt God telling me that whatever lies ahead of me must be placed in the context of his ongoing will for my life..... an eternal perspective. The phrase comes from Paul's letter to the church in Corinth. (2 Corinthians chapter 4 and verses 16-18  "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,  while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

  I didn't get lost on my way to Nepal.  I didn't make a wrong turn on my way to Birmingham, Alabama.  The awesome and amazing thing about knowing and loving God is that he never leaves us ..... never forsakes us. His presence and purpose are being fulfilled in my life. So many of you that know me are praying and asking God to heal me. I have heard from hundreds of you via phone calls, texts, Facebook and Twitter. I appreciate your encouragement and love so much!  I am listening to God through this process.  I am still not completely comfortable being the 'patient' receiving the care and love of others. But clearly my right turn to Birmingham involves just that..... being loved, cared for and healed by God and people..... people like you, who choose to think of others and care for them in their time of need.  I feel the love. I receive it with gratitude and deep joy. There are three things that last forever.....faith, hope and love. On the road to Birmingham I am being filled with all three in powerful and challenging ways. Thanks for taking the right turn to Birmingham with me.
With faith, hope and love;

Jim

Light Arises

When you're sure, when you're certain

In spite of pain, when there is no rain

A grain of sand in a world of Ocean

I hear a voice, its calling me

A distant shadow, a speck of light

A warm remembrance in a massive fight

The blood spills out of heaven's gate

A final exhale of love's first dawn

I choose to stay near, while others wander

I won't let go of the breath of life

The loss I'm feeling, won't always linger

For Father's promise holds deep within

It's Friday now, but Sunday's calling

A new frontier of open space

The darkness fades while you're arising

I see your face drawn on my soul

A hand in mine but room for others

A world wide plan of sovereign grace

The voices echo around the tear drop

The risen One has finally come.

Moved with Compassion

Throughout the New Testament gospels we read of Jesus being 'moved with compassion' just before he performed a dramatic healing or other miracle related to the needs of the people he encountered. The word translated compassion is the greek word splagchnizomai which literally refers to the intenstines and vital organs from which deep emotions such as anger and love were said to issue from. What we see in the life of Jesus was that compassion always led to corresponding action and intervention. When Jesus felt compassion it literally moved him.... it changed things from what was to what should be. During much of the 1990's I lived in a remote mountainous area in Northern Pakistan. We helped to establish an eye hospital there in a city called Gilgit. We would see patients in an outpatient clinic and also perform surgery on those patients with operable conditions such as cataracts. Unfortunately, we would sometimes see patients with conditions for which we had no medical or surgical cure. Most often those conditions related to severe trauma or retinal diseases such as Retinitis Pigmentosa.
  One clinic day I was assisting Dr. Stephen Smith in his office when we examined a young woman in her early 30's who was completely blind. She had no ability to perceive light at all. She was married with two young children clinging to her during the examination. Her husband appeared to be completely distraught. He was looking for hope.....what could we do to change the horrible prognosis he deeply feared.... to care for a wife completely blind and his two small children in a poor village? We were honest with him upon our exam. We had no cure for her condition (advanced retinal disease). Dr. Smith and I offered to pray for this family and to be honest it was hard to do so. I felt almost physically weak as I joined in prayer for this young woman who needed a miracle. There was no immediate answer to our prayer. As she struggled to walk away from us I gazed down the hallway in her direction... it was absolutely heartbreaking to see her holding tightly to her husband with the children grasping at her flowing Shalwar Kameez. At that moment I felt a deep inner compassion flowing out of me in her direction and I cried out silently, "Oh, God, have mercy....heal this woman." I continued to pray for her and told Mary about this woman when I arrived home that day. She had come from her village a 3 hour journey and returned that same day.
  A few days later we had a larger than normal crowd in our outpatient waiting area and it was louder than normal. There was lot of commotion and one woman was being pushed forward out of turn. People were pointing at her and said she has something to tell us!  The woman was unrecognizable to me at first. It was the same woman who only days earlier had been completely blind. Now that she could see her facial features and her physical bearing were completely different. Her story was that after we prayed she had started back toward her village and gradually began to to see. She began to tell her story to the village and many of her friends and family wanted to come back to the hospital to tell the story and to find out what had happened. We examined her eyes and found her healed.... though in need a mild prescription for glasses!  She left rejoicing and we were all stunned.  It's not every day you pray for a blind person and they see again...but I felt I learned something on that day I don't soon want to forget. I want to be moved with compassion when I encounter people in great need. I want to feel what God feels when he encounters hurting people. I want to see what God sees when he visualizes people in need.  I want to hear what God hears when he listens to the cries of the hurting, broken and needy people that are in my world.
  Over the past two weeks as I have found out I have a cancerous tumor growing in my right eye I have encountered people moved with compassion. Some people have been moved to pray.  Some people have been moved to give. Some people have been moved to speak words of encouragement. Something else has happened during this time. That same feeling of compassion I felt for that young mother and wife in Pakistan has been renewed, deepened and grown in my own heart. I am looking for opportunities and listening to God for ways he can use me again in helping heal others going forward.  I want to be moved with compassion.

Jim

Soul Satisfaction: Intimacy with God

What we seek for in a relationship can determine it's depth and intimacy. There is real danger in our seeking to know God, that our search for more facts and information leads to a false sense of 'knowing' God. We can know many facts about someone without really knowing them. Some aspects of knowledge are limited to the 'public domain', but intimacy implies that the real essence of a person is shared in the context of commitment and trust.
You can know facts about God but not be on 'speaking terms'. Many attend religious ceremonies, say prayers and do various religious acts without ever hearing God speak to them in a personal way. Intimacy at its root is an inner knowing of one another to the point of total satisfaction. When you really know God in the place of intimate friendship, there is an inner satisfaction and fullness that keeps one safe from other false lovers. You aren't tempted toward spiritual adultery once you have tasted the all sufficiency of the perfect Lover, Savior, Friend and Lord.
Are you satisfied in your soul? Do you find yourself falling prey to sensual temptations? Perhaps its because your soul has not fed sufficiently on the greatest lover of every soul, Jesus Christ.
Our prayers, our reading of scripture, our service on behalf of God when separated from the gracious call to sit at the feet of the loving Savior lead to dissatisfaction, frustration and confusion. We must first rest in his presence before we can act on his behalf. There is a progression in our relationship with God that can never be violated. First, we sit in his presence and marvel at his finished work of salvation. Then in the light of his risen SON we walk hand in hand with him and live the life he has given. Finally, in the shadow of his presence we stand and do battle against evil in our world.
The minute I stop embracing God is the minute I begin to lose the essence of life itself. Apart from him... his love, his word, his ongoing grace and care... I die.... slowly, inexorably, my life is totally dependent on Jesus Christ... the way, the truth, the life.... and the love of my life.

Jim

When Love Calls Your Name

A lonely place, a hidden hope. A distant thought, A broken part.

From deep within I listen hard, for one true voice to touch my heart.

I'm hoping for a brand new start, I need to know there is real hope.

A whisper speaks, it calls me out. I know your name, I know your heart.

The broken place begins to stir, it hears His voice calling out in love.

Come alive, I know your name, it's love I hold within your frame.

I feel the pain, I shed the tears, but still I hope, I hear my name.

The truth becomes a part of me, I am loved in spite of pain.

I begin to stir in places deep, I feel the power of love's pure rain

I come alive, I grow within, in spite of pain, I hear my name.

The beauty of his deep pure love sets me free from where I've been.

I'm coming out of my dark cave, I hear the voice that knows my name.

He sees inside my darkest place and still calls out, I know your pain.

The choice is his to love me still and call again, I know your name.

The light begins to dawn within, I'm coming out to trust again.

The hope we need is not for sale. We can't buy or grasp what heaven gives.

The purest love is what we need, to set us free from life's dark hate.

We all can be, what we desire, when heaven calls our souls alive.

The secret place, the hidden faults, the pain and brokenness of all our hearts

Is healed, when love calls our names

Jim