Sex was never meant or designed to be enjoyed with such a naive and narrow view. For our sexuality is such a powerful physical, emotional, mental and spiritual experience that when acted upon in the wrong time with the wrong person for the wrong reasons we can destroy ourselves in the process. On the other hand sexuality is one of the most powerfully enjoyable and life giving experiences within the boundaries of the right person, for the right reasons at the right time in life. This introduces a lot of questions such as: How do I know its the right person? What are the right reasons? When is the right time?
God created Sex. And it wasn't just to populate the planet. It was also to enable us to enjoy the pleasure of committed intimacy. Sexuality was never meant to be separated from a deep and meaningful relationship developed out of the context of trust and respect. The whole concept of marriage flows out of a divine revelation: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame." (Genesis 2:24,25)
Sin introduced shame. Selfishness and rebellion (sin) violated and damaged the relationship between men and women and it still does. Separation and confusion in the relationships between men and women that resulted from sin have caused untold misery and disappointment to develop in an area of relationship meant to convey joy, peace, excitement and pure pleasure. We are in deep trouble in the human race and no area is more troubled than sexuality. If knowledge was the answer America would be the most satisfied nation on the planet when it comes to this topic. But clearly knowledge alone is not the answer. The assumption in the modern era is that prudery has kept us in the dark for too long and the way to sexual satisfaction is more education and freedom to "just do it" with whom we will. Sexual disease and death aside the freedom to "do what you want" has neither satisfied nor improved the quality of relationships.
A river without proper boundaries is a flood that kills and destroys. A river flowing along its proper course with secure boundaries gives life and sustenance to a community. God in his mercy and love provides sexuality with boundaries that ensures it brings life and not death. Let's take a look at just a few ways that scripture can instruct.
God created sexual expression as the ultimate act of self giving and revelation to another person with whom we become ONE in every sense of the word.... a mysterious and satisfying sharing of life in the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual sense. When we physically unite with someone outside of the committed context of a life long relationship we damage one another instead of giving life to one another.
Right now we live in a society that modern sociologists call a "pornified" culture. Pornography misrepresents and damages intimacy in both our view of ourselves, others and even the concept of marriage. The ability to be satisfied sexually becomes increasingly difficult to the point of obsession, addiction and perversion. The whole concept of monogamy and faithfulness is ridiculed and our heroes are celebrated for the opposite: infidelity and sexual brazenness. But are we really satisfied or has lust created an insatiable appetite and thirst?
Jesus understood this well and confronted his culture as well as ours, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery', but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." The issue goes so deep that it is an issue of the heart way before it becomes an action. You will NEVER be satisfied sexually until you are first satisfied spiritually and content and satisfied in a relationship with the very real and righteous God. I am not talking about being religious and weird. If you know the truth about who God is and know his love you will TRUST HIM and be free. Free to enjoy sex with the right person (your husband or wife) at the right time (after marriage) for the right reasons (to give yourself fully to your spouse as an act of love and intimacy). We have not in any way tapped the great reservoir of joy in sexuality as a society. Instead we have weakened and diluted it with our unbelief and lies about the God who created it.
The religious traditions of men have given God a bad name in the area of sexuality. Satan loves to push people to one perverse extreme or another.... sex without boundaries and love or sex stunted by fear and regret. There is a better way. When will we really walk in a relationship with God enough to ensure that we live sexually pure within a life long committed relationship called marriage? "For it is said, the two will become one flesh..... Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man or woman commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.
God is not trying to deprive you of any good thing. In the right time, with the right person, for the right reasons God will satisfy those who will wait and trust him for a sexually satisfying and intimate relationship. When you take your body and give it to another apart from the boundaries of a loving God, you are playing a dangerous game of fantasy. Don't trade pleasure for a season for a lifetime of intimacy without regret.
Jim
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