What are some of the things we have learned along the way that have kept us close and committed to one another? The first thing that keeps our relationship and healthy is the word RESPECT. When I first met Mary I only knew her from a distance. We had mutual friends. From the very beginning I have had nothing but respect for Mary. I admire her love and compassion for others. In fact I am deeply humbled by that compassion. From a distance I found myself wondering what it would be like to know someone like Mary in a closer and perhaps more intimate way. Mary had a depth of character that drew me to her. I wanted to know her and learn from her. I knew that I had a lot of 'head knowledge' about mercy and compassion but was weak on the actual living of it. What could Mary teach me?
The next thing that was key in cementing our relationship from the very beginning was a shared VISION of life. When I finally had the guts to ask Mary to spend some one on one time with me we had amazing talks about vision. What do you see yourself doing with your life? What would you do with your life even apart from ever being married? Mary had a clearly defined understanding of who she was and what she wanted to do with her life. She told me that she felt called to work with children in Bangladesh or some other Asian nation. Her education was in Physical therapy and she was already working in Chester County, Pa. with disabled children. I went to visit her at work and watched her care for children with serious disabilities. I was humbled and amazed at her competent and compassionate care for hurting children. I left her workplace thinking that this was the type of person I could spend my life with!
I had felt that God would have me also working in some form of international ministry. I knew that in order to be effective I would not be able to marry someone who did not have a similar call. Mary had that and more. Mary didn't just understand where she was called.....she was already living it right where she was.
The third thing that has been key in our relationship is Attraction. As I began to reflect on the respect that I had for Mary and the vision we shared my eyes opened to the beauty of who she was. What began as admiration moved forward to a deep and abiding attraction that had endured and even grown over time. Mary is indeed an amazing beautiful woman. Proverbs 31:30 warns us, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised." There is a superficial beauty that is truly temporary and fleeting...but a woman whose character and love is rooted in truth has a lasting attraction that time cannot fade or mar. When I look at Mary I see a woman of true beauty that I will love until the end of time itself.
Finally, I would like to share one more essential quality that keeps our love for one another fresh and vital. Mary and I both love God with all our hearts. We love one another....but we also love God more. We recognize that we are frail and imperfect people in need of a fresh and ongoing relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will not love Mary perfectly....we will fail one another at times. A fractured and broken relationship can be healed, renewed and strengthened by the God who initiates all relationship. As I continue to reflect on the first 26 years of our marriage I do so knowing that all the glory for our love goes to the God who brought us together. We've only just begun! The best is yet to come. I love you Mary!
Jim
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