Priority One

  Any one out there besides me struggling with making decisions? With the pace of life quickening in our culture, it's often difficult to know how to prioritize our daily lives and make plans for the future. Let's take a look at the definition of priority:highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.

  It's an absolute truism that we make time for the things we are passionate about. All of us have the same amount of time in our day... but if we look carefully, we see huge differences in how we SPEND our days. It's good to periodically do a 'time inventory'... to examine ruthlessly how we spend our minutes, hours, days and weeks. Your time is your life!

We order our days too often by the 'tyranny of the urgent' and by the basic human appetites that capture the attention of our bodies. Jesus knew very well the tendency to worry and be consumed by our physical needs above all else.  We want to ensure our physical well being... nothing wrong with that... but  at what cost?  When we ignore the 'big picture' of who we are as humans we risk eating well while living poorly! In the gospel of Matthew chapter 6 and verses 25-33, Jesus hits us right between the eyes with a spiritual view of reality.

As a human being I am subject to worrying about having my basic needs met. Jesus in this passage of scripture takes us on a panoramic view of nature and proves that what God creates is cared for....the birds of the air, the flowers in the field... if God cares for these,  how much more will he care for us? Anxiety is a fruit of a disconnect in our souls. When we try to forge a future apart from our creator, we set our soul adrift in an ocean of doubt and fear.  "If  God gives such attention to the appearance of wild flowers--most of which are never ever seen-- don't you think  he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving." (Matthew 6:30)

For much of the first 21 years of my life I was tormented by worry... I had all my needs met but at my core I could not enjoy it because I was ignoring the most central need in my life. I was not in a real and vital relationship with the God who put me on the planet.  In verse 33 of the 6th chapter of Matthew, Jesus expresses a central truth that we must grasp before our life's priorities can be set in order! "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things (material needs) will be added to you."

Tragically we often live our lives upside down! We run around seeking to get stuff  but ignore our deep need for relationship! You were made to love and be loved. The King of the universe wants you to know, love and enjoy him forever!  His kingdom is found when we yield to the amazing grace that sent Jesus on a divine rescue mission to restore us to relationship and purpose that brings meaning to our physical reality. What a tragedy to think that the meaning of life is to consume the things that never last.  Everything you'll ever possibly need is meant to be provided in the context of knowing God and enjoying him forever.... that's priority one.

Jim

Freedom from Fear

  It was the fall of 1977 and I was living on my own for the first time. In August I had joined the United States Air-Force and spent 6 weeks in boot camp in San Antonio, Texas. Now having graduated from basic training, I was beginning a challenging medical laboratory training school in Wichita Falls, Texas.

  Military schools are known for stripping away any fluff and producing competent technicians in the shortest possible time frame. We would be in class for several hours a day and studying many hours on our own in our 'free time'. For several years in spite of doing well in school I was again coming face to face with fear in my life. I had so much self doubt that when my high school counselor called me to inform me I had been elected into the National Honor Society I had hung up thinking it was a cruel joke!  Fear is a powerful spiritual and emotional force that can paralyze and cause so much internal pain. Now as I began this new challenging school I knew I needed some peace on the inside.

  I can't recall the exact details but I was invited early on by the Catholic chaplain on base to attend a retreat along with a couple of dozen other young Air-force students. I was hesitant to participate but since school was only just beginning and I had the time, I took the risk and went along. The retreat was very peaceful and involved times of reflection, prayer and enjoying the beauty of nature. I remember consciously experiencing a lot of peace but wasn't sure if it would last...it didn't. During the retreat I was given a New Testament. Several times after the retreat when anxiety gripped my heart and the emotion of fear caused me pain in my stomach, I would begin to read the gospel of Matthew which is the first book in the New Testament.

  Each time I would read I would be fascinated by how one particular portion of Jesus words would speak directly to my own inner fears and turmoil. I will quote a portion of that text hear for you, " Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (Please read the entire portion at Matthew chapter 6:25-33)

  I would read and reread this portion of scripture over and over and get temporary  relief.... I knew it to be true but I just couldn't shake that sense of fear that had taken up residence in my 'gut'.  The pain just wouldn't leave.  As school began I studied for no less than 4 hours each day. I was getting good grades and wound up ranked 2nd in my class out of about 35 classmates. But I had ongoing dreams of failure and was literally shocked every time I found out I had done well in our exams.  Fear had taken up residence somewhere inside my soul and I could not seem to shake it.  How could I get free?

  My first conscious awareness of experiencing this fear was at the age of 10.  I had been struggling in our math class and had been bringing home poor grades. One day I overheard my parents arguing in their bedroom about 'what to do with me'.  My mother was giving me the benefit of the doubt but my father was convinced I couldn't handle the work and had something 'wrong with me'.  There were loud voices and strong disagreement.... and at that moment something gripped my soul that lasted for over a decade....fear had found a doorway into my heart.

  Fear is spiritual and it has the power to paralyse and harm even when it has no basis in fact.  I was a good student but I was a vulnerable child and fear moved in and built a home. It wasn't until many years later that I found out that fear could be kicked out of the house of my soul. Even reading the powerful words of Jesus did not evict that overriding pain of the emotion of fear in my life. I needed something more than familiarity with truth to transform my life.

  It's not enough to know about Jesus.  It's not enough to be familiar with his beautiful words of truth. At age 18 I had tried to read scripture as a sort of 'worry cure' but its effects were so short lived that over time I had ceased reading.... and praying. But God's word is powerful and his person is often working in ways beyond our understanding and comprehension.  That inner peace that was fleeting on a weekend retreat was something I longed for and years later it came in a mighty way when I prayed a prayer of surrender to the God of the Bible.  It was on a Saturday night on a gym floor in Anchorage, Alaska that instead of finding  temporary peace, I encountered the Prince of Peace himself.  I took the risk of faith and asked Jesus to save me... to forgive me... to heal my broken heart. Something very real took place on that day and its still taking place today in 2012 in Mobile, Alabama. 

  I'm still tempted to worry and experience fear at times but there is a presence of God in my life that is undeniable and wonderful.  Freedom from fear isn't found in a drug... in a bottle....or in a philosophy of man.  Peace is found in the powerful love of God that believes in us and heals us one moment at a time. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." (1 John 4:18)

Jim

Abandoned

  Have you ever been abandoned? In a moment of tragedy... in your hour of need...you were all alone. What a vulnerable place it is to be without support of any kind.  There are all kinds of orphans and abandoned souls in our broken and transient world.

  Whether we grow up in a nation of great material wealth or abject poverty, we all face times of feeling very alone. When I was a child my parents told me their stories of childhood that left them feeling vulnerable and abandoned. Both my parents grew up in inner city Philadelphia. My dad was one of 5 children growing up well cared and provided for when suddenly their world changed. My grandfather an engineer disappeared and abandoned his family and immediately their world changed. Suddenly my grandmother was forced into the work force during the depression and all the children were forced to grow up much too fast. No one could really talk about the missing father in the house and when he tried to reappear decades later prior to his death there was no real reunion or reconciliation. That missing place in the family left feelings of abandonment and uncertainty across the hearts and minds of those left behind. A single mother was left to cope alone wondering why and carrying responsibilities meant to be shared and enjoyed together with her husband. The pain lingered and only God knows how everyone coped.

  My mother was the youngest of 5 children growing up in a row home in Philadelphia. Times were tough and the only job available to her father (my grandfather) was in a nearby chemical factory notorious for the dangerous fumes emanating from its smoke stacks. People were desperate and there was never a lack of people applying to work there. Everyone knew that the workers there seemed to get sick quite a lot but feeding and providing for the family drove people to overlook the obvious. At age 5 my mom found out that her father was dying from liver cancer and soon he succumbed to the disease. At that tender age the pain of abandonment gripped my mothers soul and haunted her mother with fear and depression. Being the youngest it was difficult to let my mother go when my father proposed to her at age 19.  My grandmother had been abandoned once.... and she couldn't bear the thought of being alone again. Years later there was always something deeply emotional as our family observed the prolonged goodbyes of mother and daughter at the end of our family visits with our grandmother. We were not meant to be alone and the fear of abandonment in life is a very deep soul wound.

  When my parents married they brought to their marriage an undying commitment to love one another to 'death do us part'.  My parents were human and fought and argued at times. There was tension in their humanity and even in their painful pasts. They were impacted by growing up without a father during critical times of development and maturation. There was no question of being able to obtain an education beyond high school. They went to work and raised their children  but they were committed to not repeat the horrific pain caused by abandonment. They deeply loved one another and held on through tough times.

  The toughest time came in 1990 when at around age 50 my mother was diagnosed with Leukemia. My father and all of us (5 children) were deeply saddened and shocked. I was living in Pensacola when I received the phone call from my mother about her diagnosis. All my childhood I had imagined my mother living a very long life....well into her 80's... my mother would never abandon me. Now at age 31 and preparing for overseas work in Pakistan I felt a knife thrust deep into my soul. I felt a pain enter me that lingered for the next 5 years until my mother's death in 1995.  I had to wrestle with the unexpected departure of an amazing mother and the sense of abandonment that was created in all our lives.  I wanted my mother healed... I wanted her to live and not die.  I found out about her death in a horrible and impersonal way... a fax sent to the hospital I worked at in Gilgit, Pakistan. My mother had died on her birthday....Christmas day, 1995. Her pain was gone forever and as I read the single sheet of fax paper I felt the 'knife' in my back pulled out at last.

  Jesus never promised us a pain free existence. He entered our broken world and took upon himself all of our pain.... all of our sin and experienced total abandonment... from his followers and on the cross for a period of time, the darkness of isolation from the eternal Father...crying out "My God, My God, why have your forsaken me?" (See Matthew 27:46, Psalm 22) In a broken and sin marred world, Jesus faced the potential abandonment we all face and carried away the shame and fear that it causes.  In Romans chapter 8 we hear of amazing promises of God's forever love staying with us through every trial and adversity. "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised-- who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger or sword?"

  The answer is obvious and rings forth loud and clear in the last verses of Romans chapter 8, "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

  You're not alone. You're not abandoned. God is near and he's waiting for you to know his deep love and ever present help in times when everyone and everything else has failed you.  Let that forever love quench your soul and heal your wounded spirit today.

Jim

The Gift of Gabriella

I'm still reeling a bit from the graduation of my daughter Gabriella from high school. Last night as I sat in the Mitchell Center Auditorium with the noise of a raucous crowd buzzing through my head, my emotions were getting the best of me. Could this really be happening now? Gabriella is my youngest child and the thought of Gabby moving on into college has been a difficult adjustment for me to wrap my head around. Like all parents I want the best for my daughter... I want her to succeed and to find God's plan and destiny for her life. I realize that soon she will move out into her place in the world and that I have to let go of seeing her every day.

 Before all of our children were born I prayed about what to name our children. I wanted their names to reflect upon who they were born to be. I felt the name Gabriella would suit our daughter. Gabriella comes from the name Gabriel who was the angel that announced the birth of Jesus.... I felt that God would use our daughter as a messenger... a communicator for him. From an early age, Gabriella has been very verbal and a very sensitive person. One of my most distinct memories of my relationship with Gabby was when I was spending some time alone with her. I've tried from an early age to spend some one on one time with her and take her on 'dates'.  One day as we were pulling out of our driveway Gabby began shouting from her car seat (she was 4 years old at the time), "Talk to me!" We had gone less than 10 feet when the heart of Gabby began telling me that our time together would have to involve some serious conversation!

  Gabby more than any person has the ability to challenge me to 'get real'. She reads me well and has an intuitive sense for what's going on inside my head and heart. I can't hide from this angel that God has placed in my life. My words and actions in her life carry great power and great responsibility. When I've failed to love Gabriella adequately, I can feel the pain that I've caused her and I deeply regret it... and by God's grace I move in the direction of repentance.  Gabby gives voice to her desires and dreams better than most. Her boldness keeps me amazed... I never doubt that she will move in the direction of making a difference in our world.

  Our daughter has been born and raised surrounded by people literally from all over the world. I don't suppose I have met someone with a greater grasp and understanding of the various cultures of our world. She is a wonderful mosaic of the beautiful diversity of our world. She embraces and moves easily among the people God has placed in her life. When she detects any evidence of prejudice or cultural insensitivity in my heart or those of her friends she brings a firm voice of correction. I believe that Gabriella will be used as a voice in the ongoing battle against racism and division in our world. My daughter has been a true gift from God to my life. As I release her into our world in need of love and grace, I am confident that her gifts will bring healing to the nations in need of God.

I love you Gabby!
Dad

Sending the Future

One of the priviledges we have in leading an international church and ministry is the quality of young people who are drawn to work with us here in Mobile. In 2007 we met a young woman named Alyssa Mueller who came to study at the University of Mobile in 2006. Alyssa heard me share about Friends of Internationals while attending a local church in the area. She became involved in building relationships with international students and eventually joined us as we started All Nations Community Church in the spring of 2009 in our home. Alyssa has always felt drawn to building relationships with internationals and upon graduation she spent over a year and a half employed as the volunteer coordinator for Refugee Resettlement here in Mobile. 

In the fall of last year Alyssa was able to travel to India for a short trip with a team from Bay Community Church. As the trip drew to a close she felt that she would like to extend her trip. Unfortunately she could not do that and returned to Mobile and began praying and planning for what God might have next in her life. Alyssa through prayer and research made connection with a ministry known as Adventures in Mission based in Atlanta, Georgia. She has committed to serving for an 11 month mission in 11 countries across Europe, Africa and Asia. I admire her courage and desire to learn and serve people from around the world. She needs to raise her support in order to live abroad for this period of time. As her Pastor I can vouch for her integrity and character. Alyssa is worthy of your consideration in 'sending the future'.  Alyssa is twenty four years old and has a huge opportunity to spend her life for God's purpose in the nations. This trip will enable her to develop her understanding of world mission and help her make a long term commitment to mission.

How can you support Alyssa? Financial support can be given as a one time gift or monthly support beginning right now! You can give online at http://alyssamueller.theworldrace.org  Just click the "Support Me" link in the left panel and follow the instructions. You could also mail a check made payable to Adventures in Missions to: Adventures in Mission  PO Box 534470 Atlanta, Ga 30353-4470  Please write "for Alyssa Mueller" in the memo line!

Your support in Alysaa's life is a very real and substantial investment in the future. A donation in any amount will go a long way in making it possible for Alyssa to make a real and significant difference in our world. Young people need us to believe in them right now as they surrender to the purposes and plans  that God has for their lives! Thanks for considering supporting this amazing young woman with a heart of love for the nations!

Jim & Mary Mather

Intimacy Killers: The Spirit of Control

To be loved for who you are is the most essential human need. The development and growth of intimacy in our relationships demands maturity and selflessness. It's difficult to find deeply satisfying relationships, but easy to have shallow and frustrating 'friendships'.

 Due to our own insecurities and fears we often resort to ineffective and fatal behaviors in our relationships. Perhaps one of the most fatal of all is the manifestation of a controlling spirit. True love inspires, enables and empowers freedom of choice. All true love is rooted and grounded around the ability to move forward and maintain the relationship based on freedom and trust.

When we try to take control of another persons choices in relationship, we ensure the death of any possibility of true intimacy. A spirit of control closes the human spirit and damages the soul. We were not born to be 'controlled' and manipulated....we were born for real love.

The worst form of counterfeit love and intimacy is rooted in a horrific mutation of love known as narcissism.... the pathologic love of self. The narcissist doesn't love the other... he or she seeks to smother...to suffocate....to shape the other into whatever brings the ego the greatest pleasure of the moment. The root cause of a controlling spirit is the worship of self. The controller must be satisfied above all else...above all others. The partner of a controller is a slave of whatever they want: sex, attention, adulation, conversation, money or someone to hurt deeply.

The tragic end of someone dominated by a controlling spirit is the destruction of all their relationships and ultimately themselves. When we don't allow others to be free to love or reject us.... to set up boundaries in relationships based on trust and the natural patterns of growth over time that intimacy demands... to that extent we enslave ourselves to faux relationships based on lies and deception.

The more we attempt to squeeze others to conform to what we want....the more we dishonor them. People are made in the image of their creator who describes himself for us with three simple words, "God is love". God's image in us is honored and respected when we allow others to choose in relationship. God's great love doesn't demand a response....it wins a response through proving his love. You can't love someone you don't trust. You can't be intimate with someone who seeks to use you for his or her own selfish desires.

Intimacy demands freedom. Do you seek for deeply satisfying relationships? Begin today to set others free in your life. Stop demanding what you want and start giving who you really are... no strings .... no chains. Real love is both a choice and a gift. You can't demand it...but you can give it and receive it from a God who is true love personified.

The Danger of Doubt

  At every turning point in life we face a series of tests and obstacles that often hinder our getting to where we want to go. One of life's ongoing tests is what I call the 'danger of doubt'. Doubt is defined as  'to lack confidence in, to consider unlikely, uncertainty'. Why is it we that we find ourselves believing so sincerely in the direction and decisions in our life, and then 'suddenly', out of nowhere we face a dark night of the soul that breeds doubt?

  In all of life we depend upon faith. Faith that someone will show up. Faith that the Doctor won't screw up. Faith that the plane won't fall out of the sky. We are often unaware of our faith... we simply allow our beliefs to live on in the background of our daily routines and responsibilities. When things don't go according to plan....we freak out! When one of our assumptions (beliefs) about life is tested it can often lead to a cascade of doubt disease. When something we didn't expect to happen enters our comfortable world of assumption, our soul is shaken and we begin to wonder out loud about life itself.  Is 'so and so' really is who they say they are? Does anyone really care? Is this college degree really going to help me?  Where is this relationship going anyway? Doubt is a test of faith that we all take in life. The trouble with 'doubt exams' is that they come unannounced... they are unscheduled pop quizzes designed to help us examine the true condition of our hearts.

  In the book of James we read wise advice from God's word to us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."  Direction and guidance in life demand a single minded vision and purpose.  When we entertain doubt, we set up a potential source of division in our soul. Doubt sets up a road map of confusion in our mind....many potential directions overwhelming the singular sense of purpose we all need in life.

  You need wisdom to make good choices. Wisdom is not something you obtain by simply gaining more knowledge or information about a particular interest or topic. Wisdom is the ability to use knowledge to do the right thing, for the right reasons, at the right time. You can't get a Bachelor's degree in wisdom studies!  Wisdom is something given to people who are humble and reverent.  "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (Proverbs 9:10)

  The big 3 areas of doubt issue out of a series of questions: Who am I really? What am I supposed to be doing?  Who am I to be with? The answers to life's big questions need tremendous wisdom and insight to answer correctly... you've got to get it right.  Are you taking the doubt exam this week? Struggling with direction and purpose? Counselors and trusted friends and family can help you. But if you ignore the source of all wisdom and the God who put you on the planet... well ultimately you'll fail the test. I challenge you to begin a conversation (prayer) with the God who can be trusted to help you overcome the danger of doubt. He won't fail to guide you to where you need to go... and in the process you'll discover a love and relationship that will truly satisfy your doubts.

Jim