Walking Dead Man: From Darkness to Light

1979 was the hardest year of my life. I was 20 years old and living in Anchorage, Alaska. I had a challenging job working as a Medical Lab tech for the U.S. Air-force at Elmendorf Air force base. The toughest part was the shift work. I worked from around 3:30 p.m. till 7 a.m. the next morning. That is a long shift. Since I was single, our Senior Master Sergeant had the idea that having me work nights would ensure the married guys had a better quality of life..... I sure hope they did... it was killing me.

Over time I became more and more tired and disgusted by my life. I didn't mind being a lab tech. I just minded not having any thing else in my life. The military doesn't guarantee a 40 hour work week. They "own" you. Yes, there are benefits. They provide housing, food, educational benefits etc.... and 30 days vacation a year.... if they can spare you. Really my problem wasn't with the military. It was with me.

On the inside at the tender young age of 20 was a dead soul. I really had everything that I needed to live. Food, housing, meaningful work( perhaps too much!). But my soul was dead. At one point I remember going to the cafeteria in the hospital where I worked and remarking that I felt like the food was 'killing' me". I was sitting with a bunch of my co-workers and they looked at me with consternation. The main course that night was 'liver' and it tasted like rubber. After a while the food just didn't seem to taste like anything at all. I was dying from the inside out.

I gradually became more and more cynical and rebellious...and arrogant. I was a scary guy to be around. When people saw me heading to work in the evening they would sometimes cross the street to avoid coming face to face with me. If you had access to some old photos of me you would be surprised to see my face. In the summer and fall of 1979 I looked at least 35 and not 20. I was hardened. My heart was stone cold dead.

Once your heart stops beating and your lungs stop breathing you have approximately 4 minutes until your brain begins to suffer irreparable damage. If you are fortunate enough to have someone do CPR and provide advanced life support you might just survive. But there is another kind of death and its far too common. It's a sad reality for many that death is already close at hand. The living dead are those who get up in the morning and move around on the outside but are dead on the inside.

Every single person on the planet lives in 3 dimensions: Body, Soul & Spirit. We are taught to eat right, exercise, search out purpose and meaning in our work etc.... But there's more. We are meant to connect with something eternal... someone eternal. I'ts not about religion. Religion more often than not will kill you before it heals you. Religion lays down rules, regulations and restrictions designed to bind you to others in a prison of control. No, what we need is life itself...which comes through an amazing display of love in Jesus. Grace is something we must embrace before we can really live in this world of the living dead.

To be free on the inside....to be forgiven and to forgive is to come fully alive. That feeling of dissatisfaction and emptiness you're experiencing right now is something I can remember too well. It's a heavy load to carry through life for even one day. For me the backpack of boulders fell off on August 2nd , 1980. On that day I found out about a forever love that accepted me, forgave me and ultimately saved me. It's good to be alive. Jesus is real.

Jim

Working Ourselves to Death

    I was just beginning my 3-11 p.m. shift at Lankenau hospital's ICU when I met one of my patient's for the evening. I knew he was going to be a challenge when I saw him wearing a business suit and clutching his brief case ever so tightly  in his bed. As I approached him he was pulling papers out of the brief case and preparing to do something apparently very urgent. He asked me if he could smoke while he proceeded to light up. When I objected for safety issues etc he pretended not to hear me.

    My patient proceeded to inform me that he was a very busy and important man. Mr. 'Heart Attack' waiting to happen was in the hospital at age 43 with a dire prognosis of very severe coronary artery disease. He was scheduled to have bypass surgery the next day and had been admitted in the ICU prior to the surgery because of his history: heavy smoker, hypertension and a serious case of denial!

As I began to teach him about his upcoming surgery and review his health history it became apparent he had no intention of altering his inherently dangerous lifestyle. He pointed at his chest and promptly drew an imaginary outline around his heart. "I am here to get the 'problem' cut out of my chest" he boldly stated. He was going to continue smoking, working non stop 7 days a week and just do whatever he wanted in life. His major goal was to make more $ to add to the million he had already socked away by his 40th birthday. To say I could see a proverbial train wreck approaching would be an understatement, but what happened the next day is still imprinted clearly on my brain today though it happened nearly 25 years ago!

  The next day I came on again to the 3-11 shift to see my patient transformed into the most critically ill person in the ICU ward. During surgery his heart had completely failed and they had to insert a device known as an intra aortic balloon pump. The IABP is threaded through the femoral artery in the groin area to assist the failing heart with additional pumping action. Unfortunately for my TYPE A aggressive patient, he was now completely out of control. He was not aware of his surroundings and kept trying to pull everything out of his body that was keeping him alive. He struggled for a few days and later died not having made one additional dollar or living to see his 44th birthday. Oddly enough during his entire ICU stay he had not a single visitor. He had worked himself to death.

  We all will eventually die... but how we live matters more than we realize. Having worked for several years in ICU's in various hospitals I can tell you that no one leaving this planet asks for a calculator or a bank statement as their last request. When we're struggling to live... to take our very next breath we aren't helped by knowing we made more money than the man in the bed next to us in the ICU.

   Work is important. What we do in our work day does have significance...but it's not everything. In the beginning God commanded man to work 6 days and reserve the seventh for rest. Do you know what it means to rest?  Rest is very difficult for us when our sense of significance is totally wrapped around what we do apart from who we are. When we are disconnected from God and others in relationship, we live often very frantic lives. We want to have meaning and a sense of purpose but aren't sure how to make it happen.

  What if you knew you were loved 'no matter what'.  Your significance and sense of worth were not meant to be tethered conditionally to your 'performance' in life. God's love for you is the foundation stone of lasting security and significance. The Bible states this clearly, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2: 8-10)

  It's when we receive the gift of grace through faith that we begin to rest on the inside. Work and career remain in balance when we live our lives in the power and grace of God.  Instead of working ourselves to death....we can begin and end life in the rest that comes from grace. You are loved and God has prepared something magnificent for you to do with your life.  Let him bring you to the place of balance and blessing!

Jim

The Father's Touch

When the wound won't heal, when it's set in steel

I'm falling forward to the place called love

The bitter tears, the woeful cry, won't go unheeded by the Father's ear

Movement towards you, gnarled hands, placed upon the broken lamb

Pure love calling, leaning in, feeling something whole again

Singing voices, blending in, echoed chorus of heaven's wind

Darkness moves back at heaven's song, body resonates from the sounds of love

The voice of healing sticks to my soul, It's building a home for love to live

It's not religion that's come my way, it's pure and holy in a simple way

The Father's reached me and settled in, I'm glad to know, I'm home again

Don't Waste the Wait

  Every significant life event and achievement is preceded by periods of time in which we are forced to wait for what we desire to happen. We often view waiting time as wasted time. We want to 'arrive' at our goal, our destination, our end point. But what if our waiting time wasn't meant to be wasted? What if our waiting time was meant to be seized and garnered as a precious resource of preparation for the road ahead?

  Transition and periods of change are an immense challenge. When we sense change in our job, physical location or relationships we are tempted to 'check out' and begin the pursuit of the next thing in life. The mistake we make most often is that we refuse to live fully 'in the now' of life's precious moments. Each moment in life is valuable. We often think that when we arrive at a particular place of achievement that 'real life' begins. You often hear people discuss what they will do once they: marry, graduate, have children, retire, leave home, relocate... you name the place or type of transition for yourself. What if instead of waiting for change we seized each precious moment and fully lived in it?

  What can you do with your life while you're on your way to achieving your goals and dreams? People who are near death offer us some great perspective on not 'wasting the wait' in life. Most people interviewed who knew their lives were near the end said they would have focused more time on relationships and less on working and making money. Visions and dreams are important but not to the point that they cause us to sacrifice people and relationships. While you're waiting... preparing and dreaming for a life of meaning and purpose, pay attention to the people who are living around you right now! No one wants to be a means to an end. Are you so focused on your goals that you have become indifferent to the people in your life right now?

  I live across the street from a University and interact with highly motivated people working towards degrees and dreams. The focus is often on grades, papers, graduate school and career. I admire and encourage the people I meet daily to pursue those goals with faith, hard work and discipline. But I also try to temper my counsel and encouragement with words of caution from Jesus. Jesus said this, "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?" When we allow our own personal goals, dreams or vision for life crowd out the things that last forever we've lost our soul....we've lost ourselves....we've lost what really matters most of all.

  Perhaps on our way to where we want to go we can remember that relationships matter more than we realize. Perhaps the things that we achieve and learn and contribute to society were meant to connect us with God and one another.  There are three things that last forever in life and they are all spiritual. "So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)  What are you waiting for? Don't waste the wait. Recognize the people around you as the greatest treasure of all. Learn how to invest and build on the relationships you have right now. There is nothing you can achieve in life that matters so much that you need to forfeit or destroy a relationship to obtain that goal.  A dream without satisfying relationships is a mirage. A vision that doesn't bring hope to our communities is a nightmare. Don't waste the wait.... love God, love people.

Becoming One

  I am preparing to marry two wonderful people on Saturday afternoon in Pensacola, Florida. As I sit here preparing my thoughts for a brief but hopefully meaningful marriage message, I am struck by one powerful verse from the Bible. In Genesis 2:24, 25 we get some powerful insight into the Biblical revelation concerning marriage, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

  I have been meditating on the phrase... and they shall become one flesh.  Two unique people becoming one.... how is that possible? Is that just poetic metaphor trying to capture the sublime wonder of physical union? Or is there something deeper? Is there something that brings a man and a woman together that unites much more than just the physical? There is certainly something uniquely powerful and wondrous in the sexual completeness of a husband and wife dedicated to bring one another pleasure and given the power to reproduce human life together. I believe that becoming one with our spouse is to involve every element of who we are as people: Body, Soul & Spirit.

  Becoming one with our spouse in the true biblical sense involves a 'knowing' far beyond just a physical experience or encounter. To truly know someone involves a life long process of deep intention and commitment... and exploration. For men and women being created in God's image are deeply complex and offer many hidden treasures for the diligent and faithful lover to explore and attend to. To love as God would have us love involves a huge commitment of time, sacrifice and undivided attention and focus. Becoming one is all about process. There is nothing accidental about true intimacy in relationships.  Love from God's perspective and purpose is intentional, planned and engineered with an end in mind. When we really and truly love someone we seek to know every aspect of who they are. We seek to bring pleasure in meaningful ways beyond our own self centered desires and thoughts.  The God kind of love is always seeking to bring lasting satisfaction to the object of his or her desire..... what would bring the one I love the most joy... the most peace.... the most fulfillment.

  We see marriages and relationships collapse all around us largely because we have been sold lust instead of love.  We are enslaved by the physical and lost to the deeper and more enduring spiritual aspects of love.  To believe in another.... to be faithful when all others are found faithless..... to consistently put others before our own temporary and fickle happiness. Those are rare things in our 'modern' world. To be satisfied in our marriage relationship requires a commitment to a life long process of 'becoming one'.  For the believer there is power and a presence beyond ourselves calling us forward into life long intimacy and growth.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, "A threefold cord is not quickly broken."  When husband and wife immerse themselves in a relationship with God, the power of trinity sweeps into the human covenant of marriage.  Becoming one is in many ways an impossibility apart from God's intervention. Human selfishness is constantly beckoning us to 'look out for #1... ourselves. However, in the gospel of Jesus Christ we find the power of the life laid down for the other.  Jesus displayed brilliantly for us all that, "greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:12)

  Becoming one is God's purpose for marriage.  Marriage is a high calling that when born of and empowered by God acts as an engine of grace in a broken world of lonely souls. Don't settle for less in your relationships than what God promises.  You were born for relationship.  You were born for love.  Let God provide what you can never gain in your own strength.

Be Still

  Do you find it difficult to be still? Are you someone always on the move? The ability to embrace quietness of the soul and inactivity is often a barometer for the condition of our soul. The Psalmist issues an urgent call from God to our hearts, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! (Psalm 46:10)
  We are in desperate need of perspective. Sometimes we are guilty of staying busy for fear of what we might encounter when the noise and busyness stops! When we stop and listen for the voice beyond ourselves we gain a view of reality that will alter our lives for good. The first and central reality we must discover is that we are not the center of the universe! There is a God whose purposes give meaning and direction to all human life and experience. God is to be the central focus of our lives on this planet. God will be exalted.... there is no stopping that and the sooner we join in the chorus of praise, the sooner our lives become whole and healthy.
  We often hear people seeking out a more balanced and healthy lifestyle. We concentrate on the edges and margins of life... an exercise regimen and perhaps a short lived diet. Neither of these are unimportant but when we ignore the spiritual dimension, we might just miss the reason for having good physical health. It's not about strutting your stuff on the edge of the beach... it's for yielding your entire life to the God who shaped and formed you for an amazing life of meaning and purpose. It's in becoming still on the inside and listening to his voice above all others that we find him... and ourselves.
  Be still.... and know, really know the God of the universe... and in knowing him begin to discover who you really are.

Jim

Intimacy Killers: Infidelity

  In order to develop and maintain intimacy in our relationships we must have a character quality known as fidelity.  Fidelity is defined as faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray. Intimacy demands loyalty and devotion to whom we are committed. 

  Infidelity in relationships between men and women is one of the most frequently cited causes for relational failure. It is important we understand the why behind the necessity of faithfulness and fidelity in our relationships. When we go back to our 'relational roots' in the book of Genesis we see that intimacy and satisfaction in relationship was a God idea. Men and women were joined in a mutually satisfying unique creation.... the two were united into one. They were completely intimate, vulnerable, satisfied and without shame. ( see Genesis 2:18-25)

  Infidelity is more than an isolated physical act or relationship outside of marriage. Infidelity is rooted in the false belief that we can find 'what we're looking for' in intimacy outside of a committed relationship. It's a lie that plays upon our broken and sinful nature guaranteeing what it can never deliver. The sin trap begins when we look beyond the truth right in front of us to embrace the lie just beyond us. In the context of relational intimacy, infidelity often begins with lust. Lust is defined as unbridled sexual desire. Lust allows  the eyes and heart to wander outside of what is righteous and true. It seeks to take what it wants. It's not rooted in true love...it demands, it grabs. Lust is rooted in selfish desire though it often acts the part of genuine love. Jesus tells us that 'anyone who even looks on a woman with lust in his eye has  already committed adultery with her in his heart'. In a society and culture saturated with sexual imagery, its little wonder we have so few truly committed and intimate relationships. Betrayal is an act that damages all three dimensions of who we are as men and women. (Body, Soul & Spirit)

  Infidelity impacts our physical, emotional and spiritual selves. Once we cross the line of faithfulness in our marriage, we damage both ourselves and those who we claim to love. If you are married and you seek for intimacy outside of a relationship with your husband or wife, you are guilty of infidelity and in danger of destroying yourself and your spouse.

  There is something uniquely destructive to human beings when we are guilty of sexual immorality. In 1 Corinthians chapter 6 we read, "But our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise our bodies from the dead by his marvelous power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead. Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man (or woman) take his body which belongs to Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don't you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the scriptures say, "The two become one." But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."

  When we sexually unite with another human we become "one" with that person in every conceivable dimension. There is no such thing as 'casual sex'.  What God created for committed relationship is beautiful and satisfying in the right context. When we take our sexuality and spread it around beyond the safe boundaries of committed love we damage every aspect of our humanity. The intimacy we seek through unbridled sexual relationships often ensures we will never find what we're looking for.

  Real intimacy demands committed and life long relationships which are willing to work through differences, disappointments and disagreements. Intimacy at its core is a spiritual reality that must involve the foundation stones of faith, hope and love. The counterfeits of self, lust and sensuality will never satisfy ultimately. Life long love is built on spiritual substance that will never fail us, never leave us, and never forsake. True intimacy is rooted in the God of love who can make all things new in our relationships. He can heal our broken hearts and give us pure desires. Today, I urge you to forsake infidelity and lust for the real deal of committed love. Intimacy awaits.

After the Storm

When the storm shakes, when the ground quakes

When my heart strains,  when my soul aches

I fall down and listen hard, I need to know your love is near

A whispered word, a turn of phrase, I hear it speak inside

I won't give up, I'm leaning in, I unwrap the hope you've sent

I'm not alone, I see beyond, There's something more beyond the storm

Blue sky dawning, the grey is fading, The Son is coming, I hear the Voice

I'm coming your way, I'm choosing to embrace, I won't let go now

Grace is calling me, back to myself, I'll know who I'm really

When I get to his place

Living Your Dream

  Human beings spend a great deal of time dreaming. We spend fully one third of our lives sleeping..... and thus dreaming. Medical doctors tell us that in order for us to live healthy lives we need a certain type of sleep in order to refresh our bodies physically. They call it REM.... short for rapid eye movement which occurs while we dream.  It is in this phase of sleep that the bodies hormones and cellular functions are restored, strengthened and renewed. Put simply, we all need to dream.

  Dreaming is an activity vital to both physical health as well as for the soul and spirit. God has created man with both a physical self and an inner person who is far more complex than just his or her physical reality. We are born with a desire for fulfillment and purpose in this earthly life. We are born dreamers. When we are raised in a healthy environment of nurture, encouragement and provision we are in a place where our dream life can be healthy and positive. When we are abused, discouraged and neglected our soulish life becomes injured and dysfunctional. Our dreams turn to nightmares. The original purpose for which we have been created is sidetracked till we find healing and unconditional love through Jesus Christ.

  When we grow up or find later in life a community of faith, the dreams we have for ourselves find a soil in which they can grow to maturity. A dream is not a reality overnight. A dream has a long incubation period. Every dream is tested by time, by trial, by temptation and by treachery.

  The first temptation for the dreamer is to prematurely share their vision, dreams and hopes with insecure and jealous people. What God is often calling us to is so uplifting and encouraging to us  that it produces suspicion and jealousy in people who are insecure or hurt by their own failures. A wise dreamer holds their dream close to home while growing in maturity and taking steady steps in the direction of a dreams destination.

  A dream from God however true and noble will be fulfilled ultimately in a process of ongoing personal maturity. We grow into our dream as opposed to inheriting it. The bigger the dream, the more personal struggle and adversity needed to shape us into our dreams.  God fulfills his destiny in our lives by "working all things together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose (dream). (Romans 8:28)  You see, God has a dream too. Our dreams need to conform to his will and purposes in our world. Ultimately, our destiny as dreamers needs to be wrapped around character and conformity to God..... "He also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. (Romans 8:29) Personal ego and pride take our original purpose and distort it into an ugly visage of self worship.

  To be drawn into the future with a God given dream life is a healthy and necessary part of a healthy life style. Parents and friends who want the best for those they love should be dream leaders ( i.e. much like cheer leaders) cheering on those they love in prayer, counsel, provision and encouragement. But alas, due to our own selfishness, unbelief and insecurity. we often hold back people who have expressed their dreams to us. Sometimes we want people to do 'what we want' or we fear the cost of failure and risk for those closest to us. Faith demands an element of risk..... and failure. When we discourage dreamers we inevitably  ensure the destruction and weakening of faith itself.

  So often in churches we find a generational disconnect from parent to child. We want our children to believe...but when we demand of them a lifestyle and direction that looks just like us, we kill the dream process and ensure a prodigal lifestyle. Running away from parents, church and institution just might be needed for a dream to be birthed in the next generation of risk takers....better known as believers.

  Today, we need to release people to dream and experience a connection with God in a fresh revelation of his creativity and compassion for a broken world. Dreamers need freedom.....not constraint and control. Dreamers need unconditional love and space to fail forward in a broken world in need of change and transformation. Dreamers who are released unconditionally, have something we all desperately need in times of transition and change: The Future.

Jim

Blindness of the Heart

  We often take for granted the ability to see. Every movement of our body is dependent on accurately understanding our environment... one false movement and we risk injury, harm or even death. Since discovering that I had a tumor in my right eye in the last several months, I have suffered from a diminished ability to see out of my right eye. The treatment with radiation has left me with very little central (straight ahead) vision. I find myself dropping things and struggling with knowing how close or far away objects are in my 'field of vision'. I am learning how to see in a new way. I am relying on my left eye while ignoring the imperfect vision of my damaged and unhealthy eye.
  There is another kind of vision that we use to interpret the meaning and reality of the world we live in. It's the vision of the heart. Our response to our reality is often determined more by the condition of our souls than we realize. The vision of the cynic and the saint are often at odds with one another. We all are in need of a removal of the cataracts of the heart.

  In 2 Corinthians chapter 4 and verse 4 we get a little insight into what is happening to impact our view of reality. "The god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." There is a spiritual struggle going on to keep us 'in the dark' concerning matters of the heart and soul. There is a potential for all of us to view things from either God's perspective or a 'worldly' perspective. We are surrounded by a world controlled by self interest and 'me first' priorities. We might have perfect vision with our human eyes and yet be deeply blind on the inside of our human soul.  To be led and guided in life by the prevailing philosophy of ' let's eat and drink and be merry'.... to sell out for sensual pleasure only, is a dangerous and deeply dissatisfying way to live.

  When we cry out to God for healing and help in our lives we might be surprised how that impacts our world.  As I have prayed for healing of the melanoma tumor in my right eye, I've experienced some changes in my life beyond my physical reality.  I've been able to see, feel and experience life in a whole new dimension. 2 Corinthians chapter 5 and verse 7 reveals to us the way of the believer in Christ, "For we walk by faith, not by sight."  I still literally walk by putting one step in front of another.... but I interpret what is happening to me in a deeper and more profound way.  I begin to see things through the lens of God's eternal perspective. My vision is altered by first seeing God and the perspective revealed through his word and by his Spirit.

  When we yield our hearts to God and begin to connect with Him in relationship something deeply profound takes place. Jesus said it this way, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." While at present my physical vision is diminished, I am in no way hindered in my ability to see what matters most of all.  God is at work in showing me himself.... and in seeing him,  I'm healed from the inside out.

Jim

When Love Calls Your Name

A lonely place, a hidden hope, a distant thought, a broken part
From deep within, I listen hard, for one true voice to touch my heart
I'm hoping for a brand new start, I need to know there is real hope


A whisper speaks, it calls me out.  I know your name, I know your heart
The broken place begins to stir, it hears His voice, calling out in love
Come alive, I know your name, It's love I hold within your frame
I feel the pain, I shed the tears, but still I hope, I hear my name


The truth becomes a part of me, I am loved in spite of pain
I begin to stir in places deep, I feel the power of love's pure rain
I come alive, I grow within, in spite of pain I hear my name
The beauty of His deep pure love sets me free from where I've been


I'm coming out of my dark cave, I hear the voice that knows my name
He sees inside my darkest place and still calls out, I know your pain
The choice is his to love me still and call again, I know your name
The light begins to dawn within, I'm coming out to trust again


The hope we need is not for sale. We can't buy or grasp what heaven gives
The purest love is what we need, to set us free from life's dark hate
We all can be, what we desire, when heaven calls our soul alive.
The secret place, the hidden faults, the pain and brokenness of all our hearts
Is healed, when love calls our name

Keys to Relational Intimacy

 We all want satisfying and intimate relationships. We were born to love and be loved. But the achievement of satisfying relationships often seems elusive and frustrating. What are some of the essential ingredients in building a life of relational satisfaction?  If we know how we have been made.... who we are at our core, we can lay the bricks that build a lasting bridge toward relational intimacy. The first book of the Bible reveals something about our inherent nature and personhood that we must understand. In Genesis chapter 1 and verse  26, "Let us make man in our image , after our likeness."

  We are more than our physical bodies. When our heart stops beating it doesn't mean we cease to exist. Our spirit lives on.... the eternal ME, our personhood needs to be understood before we expect to build deep and lasting relationships. Our spiritual self relates to our deepest desires, search for meaning, love, purpose and worth.
  All of us have two real and profound needs which must be met before we can experience intimacy that lasts. The image of God is reflected upon us through those two needs. God is a personal being who in his essential nature is LOVE. God is also a creator of design and purpose and the author of meaning for all of us.  We too are personal beings....but we are limited, dependent and sinful. God is love..... we need love.  Whatever God produces and empowers is significant. It's in knowing God that we find deep love and significance. Let's take a closer look at our two essential needs as human beings.
1. Security: a deep understanding of being unconditionally loved without needing to change in order to obtain that love.  To be loved by a love freely given, not earned and impossible to lose.
2. Significance: This is found when we realize we are engaged in a life that is truly important, a life whose significance will not evaporate with time... but will last throughout eternity. This life will have a meaningful impact on another person and fit who I am as a person. (Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

  The foundation stone for acheiving intimacy is Truth. In a relationship with God in Christ, we can live satisfied.... knowing that we are at every moment eternally loved and genuinely significant. As Watchman Nee says so well in his commentary on the book of  Ephesians (Sit, Walk, Stand), "Christianity begins not with a big DO , but with a big DONE." In other words, cease striving..... and begin to really live by grace and the love available to you through God's finished work on the cross of Christ.
  When key relationships falter and cause me to feel insecure or less significant, I can continue to hold firmly to the fact that in Christ I am always and forever a worthwhile person. God's first call is not to a religion or system of belief. God's first call is always to himself.... to relationship, to an intimate knowledge of his love and person. That kind of love never disappoints. He's calling you to know him....really know him.  Answer the call to relationship.

Jim

Standing with those in Need

"Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing by, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold your son! Then he said to the disciple, "Behold your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home."  (Gospel of John chapter 19:25-27)

  When things go bad in our lives its interesting to observe who stays nearby. People who really love us are not intimidated by our failings, downturns, disasters or tragedies. Love draws ever closer in times of heartache and pain. Here the scriptures give us a window into the fraility of our faith. Most of those who had followed Jesus during his active ministry of healing, miracles and deliverance are now nowhere to be seen. A handful of those who truly loved Jesus were still with him during the time of the crucifixion.

  When we're in pain of any kind whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual its very hard to be alone. Abandonment is one of the most painful realities of a fallen world. No one sticks around for a perceived 'loser' in life. We try to pick winners and invest our time in them. The ultimate irony is that in just a few days the most significant and altering victory in history was about to transpire. But few would bear witness.... and fewer still would remain faithful through the entire spectrum of the first Easter weekend.

  Another lesson in this brief portion of scripture is that personal tragedy should not cause us to abandon our responsibilities to care for those we love. Jesus in the midst of horrific pain and suffering, remembers his mother and makes provision for her.  John's love for Jesus is not superficial or situational. John proves his love by immediately making room for what is important to Jesus... the care of Mary in the light of his transition from this world. Jesus knew the future....and he prepared for it and for those in his care.

  A life of faith is not meant to be an escape clause from responsibility. People of faith are meant to love responsibly and with their feet and heart planted firmly in two worlds.  We are citizens here.... and there. A holy faith cares for those in front of us in practical and significant ways. Are you making room in your life for the people whom God deeply cares for?

  Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." (James 1:27)

Jim

On The Cross next to Jesus

  How we respond to suffering in our lives tells us a lot about ourselves... and a lot about what we believe about life and God. When the reality of pain, loss, grief, trials and difficulties invade our bubble of false security our response, reveals what rules our hearts.

  In Luke chapter 23 and verse 33 we see this reality played out in two eye witnesses to Jesus being crucified on the cross. I will quote directly from the scripture and then comment, "And when they came to the place called the skull there they crucified him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left. But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."  Here we have some really amazing hope for our lives.... Jesus response to our selfishness and even the gross insult of having his clothes gambled for is to FORGIVE. Faith sees past the pain and trusts God for the future. Jesus mind wasn't paralyzed by pain...it was looking for the ultimate gain that would be reaped by remaining faithful through the trial.

  The scene shifts and we see two contrasting responses from the criminals who were being sentenced to death at the same time as Jesus. Their words and attitudes reveal two directions in which our minds can go when we to face adversity. From verse 39 we see the first negative response, "And one of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at him saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other answered, and rebuking him said, "Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? "And we indeed justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." 

  When bad things happen we are quick to judge, analyze and make conclusions based on what we believe is right or wrong. The problem is we are not God and our judgment is clouded by false perceptions, limited knowledge and selfish attitudes. We are often wrong. Humility is an attitude that tells ourselves quickly and often, " I could be wrong, so I choose to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger."

   Humilities chief reward is that instead of being stuck with our own false conclusions, we become quiet enough to hear God's response to our trials and suffering. Jesus response to the humble but guilty criminal on the cross cries out as an example of our own need for humility and prayer in times of duress and pain. The humble criminals last words reveal an astounding self awareness of his deepest need, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom!"

  Jesus response reveals the depths and richness of God's grace, " Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in Paradise.

  How are you responding to suffering and difficulty in your life? Are you standing in judgment against God and railing against what is happening? Or are you pausing long enough to let God respond to your deepest needs of forgiveness, hope and restoration? Which will it be..... pride or humility?  The choice you make in your hour of suffering are decisions of destiny you dare not get wrong. Choose wisely.

Jim

Searching for Forever Love in a Temporary World

This June, my wife and I will celebrate our 27th anniversary. 27 seems like a small number when I think of how quickly those years have gone by. On the evening before our wedding, I can remember being unable to sleep as I anticipated our wedding and the reality of the commitment I was making. During our engagement Mary had repeatedly asked me the same question, "Are you sure?" Just prior to meeting me Mary had been engaged to someone else who on Valentine's day had backed out and asked for the ring back. This would leave anyone feeling insecure and in need of affirmation before moving toward marriage. I repeatedly reassured Mary that I was sure I wanted to spend my life with her. But in fact any human being knows that in and of themselves the idea of a life time commitment is both intimidating and challenging.

In the United States we have the highest divorce rate in the Western world: as many as 60 percent of men and half of women will have sex with somebody other than their spouse during their marriage. In spite of the infidelity, Americans remain committed to searching for their 'soul mate'. We spend $72 billion a year on weddings alone! There is this push and pull between "happily ever after" images of marriage and an inability to commit to anyone in the here and now. To put it simply there has never been a bigger disconnect between what what we say we want and what we actuate in our daily lives.

The percentage of married Americans has dropped each decade since the 1950's and the number of unmarried but cohabiting partners has risen a 1,000 percent over the last 40 years. At 28 for men and 26 for women, the median age at which Americans are marrying is at the highest point ever!Having children outside of a marriage commitment is common now. 41 percent of children born in 2008 in America were to unmarried moms.

While Hollywood and romance novels are replete with plots involving searching for the "one" who will bring ultimate fulfillment our society has left us wondering how to make choices at all. We have produced a generation that loves choice but hates choosing.

The expectations that we place on any future soul mate can seem to border on the Super Hero of Romance: best friend, business partner, hot lover, companion, soul mate etc....

Perhaps on our search for the 'perfect' husband and wife we might just be looking for something else. The first 'marriage' was arranged.... by God. Genesis 2: 18-24 recounts for us the reality of the need that God saw in his created Adam for an Eve. The God given need for an Adam or and Eve in our life does not actually substitute for our need for God himself!

And yet that is what we have done. We have compartmentalized our sexuality from our spirituality. We have substituted a pseudo spirituality of marriage ritual for the God ordained reality of covenant relationship. In the phrase "Happily Ever After" we reveal our naivety and selfishness. A relationship designed for intimacy and longevity can never be based around a goal of 'happiness' at its core. The goal of marriage must go far beyond temporal mood and the insecurity of worldly happiness alone.
For sure marriage will have moments or happiness and seasons of abject pleasure and fulfillment. But the stages of every life involve just as many seasons of trial, tragedy and temptation. There has to be something deeper and more sustaining than temporary 'good times' to sustain and fulfill an empty heart.

God 's call to intimacy in the covenant of marriage goes deeper than our society currently embraces. The traditional vows of marriage of 'in sickness and health... in poverty and wealth.....till death do us part.... seem quaint and dated to a culture that demands personal gratification above all. If we're not happy.... well why go on? We bail out and repeat the cycle hoping for different results.
Could it be that the "God" kind of marriage is more about holiness than happiness? Sacred marriage and true intimacy depend on a commitment that goes beyond transient feelings and emotions. Perhaps God's call to be Holy (whole in body,soul and spirit) is a serious one indeed. Marriage that is lived apart from God's call to intimacy with him and with one another is a failed enterprise indeed.

One of the enduring anthems of the Rock and Roll generation of the 1960's is an anthem made famous by the group, The Rolling Stones. The lyric refrain repeats over and over, "I can't get no satisfaction". That my friend is the song that the world must sing over and over when it denies the truths that marriage so definitively depends on.

Satisfaction in intimacy demands that our Creator be involved at every level of our relationships. We are sinners and we cannot ultimately achieve forever love without him. 27 years of marriage with Mary have left me much more than "happy". I am full of satisfaction at every level of my life... and more importantly, I am more aware of my need for God and his love than ever before.
I have searched for love and found it...in God and with Mary.

Jim

Healing for Damaged Emotions

   We don't truly value our health until we lose it. Remaining healthy is a complex equation. We are triune beings.... God has created us as body, soul and spirit. These intertwined components of our humanity are humanly impossible to separate and yet they interact deeply and effect our wholeness..... our health. We tend to pay most of our attention to our physical health (our bodies). We attempt to watch what we eat and exercise etc.... well, most of the time! 

  Our soul is complicated. We are a bundle of emotion, will, thoughts and individual personality. We are deeply impacted by our families and the words said to us in our childhood. We were born for love. We were meant to be raised in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance. As children, our souls are vulnerable to rejection and abuse. We can't protect ourselves. When our soul is injured it affects every aspect of our life. Soul wounds don't show up on X-rays or Cat Scans. But soul wounds deeply impact our health.

  We need an encounter with truth to get well on the inside. When we believe lies about ourselves, they can torment and hurt us for a lifetime, until those deceptions are identified and removed. We desperately need healing....from the inside out. In the New Testament book of Hebrews we encounter the reality of Jesus as the healer of our soul. "For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as to divide soul, spirit, joints, and marrow; it is a judge of the ideas and thoughts of the heart. No creature is hidden from him, but all things are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give an account." (Heb. 4:12,13)

  God can see things undetectable by human eyes and sophisticated technology. He sees it all. And yet his eyes are motivated by an amazing love that seeks to heal and not condemn. He waits for us to come to him with all our brokenness to bring healing and hope when wholeness eludes us.

  The beauty of Christ is that he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. Jesus by coming as the Son of man allowed himself to be tested in every way as we are --- yet without sin. He calls us today to come to him... to the throne of GRACE, with boldness. We often need to keep coming... healing of the soul is a process. The throne of grace fortunately has an unlimited supply of mercy and grace... and it delivers healing on time. It takes time to process our soul injuries and to be healed from the inside out. While forgiveness flows immediately, our ability to process that healing takes time.

  God's not in a hurry pushing you toward healing. He is perfect love.... and love is patient. Today, start the journey. Allow his perfect vision to identify the bruised and broken places in your soul. You can't be truly whole when you ignore your emotions and disappointments and the abuse of others. We need healing for our damaged emotions.

Healing is a process of replacing lies with truth. Truth is not disembodied principles applied to problems. Truth is personal. Jesus said it this way, " I am the way, the truth, and the life, No one comes to the Father except through me." Healing always leads back to relationship.... we are healed by the TRUTH, who is Jesus himself.

  Through the counsel and application of that truth to our lives.... over time, we are healed. God by his Spirit applies the truth balm to the hurting and damaged parts of our soul and then life and health begin to spring forth. In a community of acceptance and love we can slowly and steadily walk out of the darkness of rejection, depression, perfectionism, anger and low self esteem. Healing is a journey that requires family. No one should have to walk alone. Are you tired of being  beaten down in life by lies and distortion? Are you struggling with issues of identity and purpose? You're not alone. I challenge you to call out to God and allow the truth of his word to renew and transform your mind and heart. It's in knowing the God of love that healing begins and ends. It's all about love. (Romans 12:1,2)

  If I can help you in any way, let me know. I too have been wounded in life, but by God's grace, I am choosing to be a wounded healer. Together, let's walk out of darkness, into God's marvelous light and love.

Jim