The Process of Healing

In late October during a routine eye exam I found out that I had a medium sized cancerous tumor growing in the back of my right eye. The Doctor estimates that I must have had the tumor in my eye for a long period of time, but I was not aware of it. I felt well and had excellent vision. But at some point the tumor pressed up against the retina and caused the surrounding blood vessels to bleed and I became aware that I had a serious problem. It appeared that I had 'suddenly' become ill...but in fact the cancer growing in my eye was a process...which had developed over time.

  Too often we look at both sickness and healing as sudden occurrences. As soon as I found out the seriousness of my eye condition, I wanted to get the tumor out of my eye.... I wanted to be well immediately! As I have learned though, healing is more often a process of gradual changes than it is an instantaneous reality. As a Christian, I am praying for God's healing to be manifest in my life. Many of my friends and family are praying with me. ( I am deeply grateful!) The Bible is replete with instances of instant and dramatic healing of physical illnesses. We were made by God to be whole and well and when we're not it's normal, natural and indeed 'healthy' to seek for healing by any means possible. We pray and we seek medical help in faith that God does indeed want us well. But the reality of our lives is that often healing does not come according to our plan and timetable.

  We cry out to God..... heal me! And sometimes God graciously answers our prayers quickly, if not instantly. What a grace that is! But sometimes the illness or affliction lingers and our faith can begin to waver.  Does God really hear and answer prayer? Delay often brings doubt. In my own case, the thought of having a tumor growing in the back of my eye has at times left me feeling frustrated and wanting both an easy and instant solution. I have had many prayers for healing and yet so far the tumor has not been removed. Waiting for healing and for the process that God ordains for it to take place takes both faith and patience.  Healing has three separate but seamless elements in our lives. God has made us body, soul and spirit beings. I could have the tumor removed or healed and still not be well in another dimension of my life.  Our physical bodies are just one part of our whole self! Our soul involves our inner selves.... our emotions, our minds, our will. So many people have no physical reason for being unwell, but are deeply broken in the soul....wounded on the inside and untouched by medicine or surgery.  Our spiritual selves are the deepest parts of who we are and designed and created to relate to God in the eternal realms of faith, hope and love. True wellness goes far beyond the healing of our bodies to penetrate the inner person of soul and spirit. God's greatest desire is to make us well forever through an ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ.

  God is taking me on a journey of healing and wellness. My soul and spirit are strong and full of joy and peace. My body is undergoing a process of healing that is taking time. To be perfectly honest I didn't want to step onto the pathway this is taking me. I did not want to have surgery. I did not want to have radiation placed into my eye. I was hoping that perhaps I would be healed prior to the surgical and radiation treatment. I was prayed for in that regard. And yet God is healing me in a way that involves process and relationship with people. Even as I write this the healing is ongoing and full of mystery and the unknown. The vision in my right eye is blurry. The radiation has caused the tumor to bleed.... and yet even that reality brings hope. The healing is taking place....over time and in a way that I must trust and release to God.  I don't know how God heals exactly. I just know that he does. I know why God heals.... because God is love. I choose to release the timing and methods of how God wants to work in my life to him. God is love and knowing that makes everything else going on in my life make sense. I am not trusting in my circumstances. I am not ultimately even trusting in the medical interventions taking place on my behalf. My ultimate trust is in the character and person of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is so good!

  Even as I write this I have a deep and abiding peace on the inside. My soul and my spirit have been healed. My body is being healed by his grace and love. I'm walking with the healer in a life I would not trade for anything. I encourage you to allow God to heal you as well in a journey of faith and wonder. I choose to enjoy the journey no matter where it takes me.... for my eyes are fixed and focused on the Lord of the journey.

Jim