In our desire for intimate, loving and meaningful relationship we inevitably run into the potential for deep hurt and disappointment. To open your heart in a broken world involves huge risk. The further we go into relational 'deep waters' the higher the risk and more costly the failure.
Our media readily tells us how to 'fall in love' but not what to do when we 'fall out' into bitterness, pain, malice and unforgiveness. The pain of broken relationships is much worse than any physical pain. No amount of pain medicine or illicit drug use can overcome the anxiety, depression and unrelenting anger that issues out of a broken heart. How do we find healing and hope for our bruised souls?
The natural tendency due to our broken inner lives (sin) is to seek revenge and to strike back against those who have harmed us in relationships. Jesus spoke clearly about his view on our seeking revenge, " You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'If an eye is injured, injure the eye of the person who did it. If a tooth is knocked out, knock out the tooth of the person who did it. But I say, don't resist an evil person! If you are slapped on the right cheek, turn the other, too. If you are ordered to court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow. (Mt. 5:38-41)
Forgiveness is an amazing act of grace that connects us to a God who chooses to love us in spite of our many failures. To forgive means that we give up resentment....we allow room for error or weaknes....or failure. We make a decision to no longer seek payment on a wrong done to us. While our emotions might not initially be along for the ride, our will makes a choice to respond to God's grace by releasing others from their 'debts' to us. We are created with an innate sense of morality. We have inner scales that tell us (sometimes wrongly) whether we are being treated justly. When others sin against us, our first response is to attempt to balance the scales.
Forgiveness is an outrageous act of trust in a loving God that says we believe he will make all things right in the end. We let go of the "god" card and agree to get off the throne that only the true God can sit on. We begin to agree with teachings of Jesus who said, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you, But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Mt 6:14,15)
If life is all about relationships (and it is) than when we refuse to forgive, we cease really living. We might have a physical heart beat, but when it comes to the true meaning of life, we're dead. To be a follower of Christ means to live a life that actively seeks to make peace with people...even those have deeply hurt and offended us. Jesus said it well, "Blessed are the those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." (Mt. 5:9)
When we're offended we often argue for our 'rights'. We demand what is rightfully ours and won't budge until we get what we feel we deserve. We forget how deeply we ourselves need to be forgiven. To be a follower of Jesus Christ means to be a person who willingly surrenders their human rights to receive their heavenly promise. Jesus is building a kingdom where mercy rains down on all who call upon him in truth. You can 'get what you want'' while missing what you really need.
Following Jesus means we prepare ourselves to make allowances for each other's faults and forgive those who offend us. We remember that God has forgiven us...and so we choose by God's grace to forgive... to release others to God. Yes, there are consequences for evil behavior done by others. Yes, relationships that are built upon trust take time to be rebuilt and the fractures often take years to heal completely if ever. ... But forgive, we must. (Colossians 3:13)
Perhaps you have been deeply hurt by someone. Perhaps you have been betrayed, abused or rejected. The pain is immense. You are struggling to go on even now. There are parts of your emotional life you dare not open to others because of what has happened to you. God is not expecting you to forgive in your own strength. We first need to receive his love, grace and forgiveness and in the process of his touch...we are empowered to release. When we take our two arms and embrace all of grace, the power of revenge is emasculated and broken.
Love doesn't demand forgiveness as much it empowers and enables it. When you know the love that will never end, you're able to bury the pain, the hurt and horrors of what happened to you. The sting of death and the stench of abuse never go away on their own. It takes the power of a risen and loving Savior to set us free... in this life and ultimately in the next.
Intimacy and love are waiting at the door of your heart and soul. Today, let go of the burden of revenge. Receive the forgiveness and love you so desperately need.... and be free....at last. Forgive and be healed from the inside out.
Jim
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