The Process of Intimacy: From the Inside Out

  We our fixated on what we can see, feel, taste and touch. Our senses cry out for attention and we become slaves of our appetites. The power of temptation lies in the deception that once we satisfy our immediate desire (hunger, lust, thirst etc..) we will be at peace. Funny thing about sensual desire without the guidance and control of our inner selves (Spiritual).... its NEVER satisfied.

Because of sin, our ability to control desire has been damaged beyond self repair. We need an appetite/Desire SAVIOR. Our soul needs to be cleansed and reborn just as much as our Spirit. You must be born again is a command that needs to be applied in our hearts, minds, souls and bodies. If we are not yielding every dimension of ourselves, we are walking relational time bombs ready to go off at the worst possible moments (often as we approach true intimacy).
We live in a time when people are diagnosed as commitment phobic. Books have been written and movies scripted with titles like, "He's just not that into you". What we are seeing is people recognize a timing device inside of them attached to a soulish bomb that they desperately don't want to go off... no one wants to see themselves splattered all over someone else.... we are afraid. When we look in the mirror and compare the images of who we think we are compared to the societal "norm", we become afraid and disillusioned.. no amount of gym workout time can ever substitute for what God can do as you receive his unconditional love and bask in his acceptance of you.... as you are. You and I were NEVER meant to live in relationships with others apart from an ongoing, vital & intimate relationship with God. If he is not first in your relational priorities, I assure you, sin is crouching at the door of your life.

The process of healthy and satisfying intimacy begins on the inside and works itself outward.  When your heart is at rest and satisfied in its relationship with God you are positioned at the starting line of a great life of intimacy and love.
Isaiah 55 proclaims this, "Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not SATISFY? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live....

You can't buy intimacy, you can't become someone else to make others love you.... intimacy begins and ends at the feet of a loving Savior..... if you're hurting today because of enslaving yourself to bread that can never satisfy you... God is NOT condemning you.... he knows about desire .... he created it and wants to give you something that will yield everlasting satisfaction and bring healing to your heart, mind, soul and body.... the road to healthy and pure intimacy can begin afresh today.... I am praying with you for healing, hope and a life of love to be yours both now and forever!

More to come.....

Intimacy: Building a House of Love

  When building anything the most important step is to ensure your foundation is strong and secure. When it comes to relationships of significance the great initiator must be the Lord. In the book of Genesis we see the revelation that God knows what we need before we do. In Genesis 2: 18 we read, "And the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." One of the most important things for us to realize in life is that God knows what we need and desires to provide for that need. When we seek to meet our needs apart from him we breed confusion and complication. To what extent are we willing to wait for God's provision in the area of friendships and even future marriage partners? In this most essential area of need we are in practice most often 100 percent atheists.
In initiating the provision of an intimate life partner Adam begins in the position of utter dependence: SLEEPING! From Genesis 2:21, "So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam... In the right time, at the right place, for the right reasons, God provided something precious to Adam. And he will do the same for all of us. The need for intimacy ( defined as the ability to reveal oneself without regret) is universal.
The response of Adam connecting in a deep way to Eve is poetic and beautiful, "At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called 'woman' because she was taken out of man." When we connect with people whom GOD has brought into our lives there is a deep and abiding sense of completeness. In the case of marriage the physical union of intimacy is indeed heaven sent and Holy... two united into one, naked and with no shame.
At the point of brokenness in our relationship with the great initiator (God the Father) all HELL literally breaks loose into our places of intimacy... our house becomes DIVIDED. The love that we need and long for has a tap root and it is in the person of God. And yet God sees us and out of his own understanding of who we are provides us with people whom he has chosen to walk with us in life. As John Donne has said, "No man is an island, entire of itself...." The sooner we understand that we were born for love and surrender that need to God himself, the sooner we will be healed and satisfied in a life sustaining way. You cannot apart from God fill up your soul with the proper balance of love for God and people. We are always stretched out of balance when we seek on our own to fulfill our need for relational intimacy. You have been WIRED for relationships not born of selfishness but selflessness. Apart from God, we are our own worst enemy.
Deep down, most people are inexorably lonely and broken on the inside... we stuff ourselves with perversion of every kind to cover that sickness. It's time to knock the house down of our own making. Instead let us build a life of relationships where we respond to what God provides and not what we can grasp or control in ourselves. To be intimate in life is not an option... we must have what God himself saw as a deep need... and let him do it for us. Let' pray right now, "Father God, I ask you to allow me to reveal who I am to those whom you have prepared in advance... without regret!"


Jim

Intimacy: Finding Satisfaction in Relationships

  It's funny how the things we need the most in life are almost always the most difficult to obtain. Of all the most needy places to be; its the souls need for meaningful relationships that creates the most trials and confusion along life's journey. I am the least likely person to address the topic of intimacy in relationships as my own journey in relationships was extremely stunted and immature until I was challenged in nursing school to do something about it. The word intimacy in and of itself is layered with all sorts of misunderstanding and innuendo. In a sensual and sexually overloaded culture like America the word intimacy instantly conjures up images portrayed in the media of a strictly physical experience.

But as I've prayed and thought about this topic I awoke about 5 a.m. this morning with a few words in my heart that are helping me define intimacy in a new way. Here's my new definition for intimacy that came to me as I awakened: Intimacy is the ability to reveal who you are without regret.

Because of sin, brokenness, fear, abuse, disappointment and misunderstanding we seldom let others see and know the real US. We constantly are hard at work trying to become someone we aren't. This takes tremendous energy and ensures we will be FOREVER lost on the journey for meaningful/intimate relationships. Intimacy demands many things but foremost is the ability to be true to oneself.

Every culture on earth has defined the essence of beauty in distinct ways that set up boundaries to define attraction, bonding, courtship and the move toward intimacy. If we don't know who we really are or are not willing to express that we become shaped by externals and betray our inner selves. Confusion, mental illness, anxiety and depression about relationships all have at the root the most grievous of all sins: SELF BETRAYAL. If we have to become someone we are not, a cycle of personal schizophrenia begins that ends in NEVER BEING SATISFIED OR INTIMATE. For if you don't reveal who you really are... you can only live in a place of tormenting regret.

Relational satisfaction begins and ends with the ability to believe you are not a mistake. Your appearance, your personality, your dreams, your desires are worthy in and of themselves. You are created to love and be loved not as an imitation of someone else but as yourself. To share intimacy with another begins with the ability to know some essential truths revealed by God about you:
1. You are not an accident
2. You are loved by God
3. Even in your broken places and failures, God still loves you

The interesting thing about intimacy is that God started it all. When we are connected in a relationship with the God of Love we have a foundation in which to grow healthy and satisfying relationships. But what happens when we have been poisoned by relational failures of our own or others making? Intimacy is disrupted, damaged and deleted from our lives.

We run out of the garden that God has prepared for us to live. We substitute serial relationships of increasing toxicity and we hide from people who we really are. It's in a return to the place of trust in God that we can find satisfaction for this our DEEPEST and most fundamental need in life. You can be cut off from food or drink for a time... but when you are cut off from meaningful and intimate relationships your death is very near... for death is not primarily a biological word.... it's relational. When we die... we are separated not from what we eat, drink or consume as much as we are separated from those with whom we are meant to share ourselves... without regret

More to come;
Jim

Our Dream: Jim & Mary

  As a child growing up I never wanted to be known as a 'dreamer'. I wanted to be known as someone responsible. Someone who made correct decisions with little risk. I wanted to live my life in the 'sure thing' realm. Get a decent job. Make average or better money. Live somewhere in the middle of 'middle America'. When I heard the word dreamer it conjured up images of irresponsibility. So at the age of 17 with no money for education, I did the responsible thing and joined the military. I would work hard, stay out of trouble, and save money for my education. And about 3 years into my sojourn of responsibility, my world became undone. I found myself in trouble on the inside. I had achieved a measure of success in the military.... graduating with honors in their medical laboratory training schools. I worked hard.... and saved every dime I could. I wanted to be safe. But the safety of a savings account did nothing for my soul. I was flat out empty and going into a danger zone emotionally and spiritually. I needed something more than a respectful safe place. I needed love.

  On August 2nd, 1980 I prayed a prayer that lasted no more than 5 seconds. I cried out to God on the gym floor of a Baptist church for help. I can't recall the words of my prayer but they were probably nothing more than, "Help, I am screwed up!"  Help came. My life has been an ongoing relationship with God who continually challenges me to walk with him to places I would never go alone. By nature I want to hide.... hide from people, hide from danger, hide from myself. But God.... is love... and he won't let me alone!

  Over the last several years I have been dreaming backward.... let me explain. My fears of becoming known as a 'dreamer' stem from observing that many dreamers never seem to amount to anything at all. Their dreams are fanciful, naive and frankly often crazy. But when you walk with God (and this sounds...excuse me...dreamer like) and he speaks to you through scripture it can define your life and change everything. I was reading in the final book of the bible known as Revelation. (Warning.... don't read this book at home alone...it could permanently alter the course of your life) I was specifically reading Revelation chapter 5 and verses 8-10. It describes a magnificent and hard to comprehend scene from heaven. Jesus is at the center of the picture, "When he took the scroll, the four living creatures and the 24 elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and four gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song: You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals; and you redeemed people for God by your blood from every tribe and language and people and nation. You made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they will reign on the earth."

  This vision of the future in heaven has defined my reality.... and my dreams for the last 15 years. While praying in December, 1997 in Gilgit, Pakistan, God spoke to me two words, "International Students".  I spent the next several months praying what those two seemingly disconnected words meant to me and my life. Previously I had told God while I enjoyed living and working in Pakistan I wanted to if possible to serve among people "all over the world".  Long story short I wound up in Mobile , Alabama where for nearly 13 years I have served the international students at the University of South Alabama.  Since the summer of 2009 I have also been developing along with a team of friends an international church known as "All Nations Community Church".  I have become a 'dreamer'. But unlike most dreams I am dreaming backwards. God has revealed the future to me.... well in fact to all of us... who choose to believe it. He has shown me the future and I want all of my decisions, plans, priorities and purposes to be defined by that future reality which I see by faith.

  I am building a house of love that goes beyond ethnic boundaries to cooperate with a future God has promised us all. I am living among a community of people defined by gratitude and worship of a God of love. We are wrapped together in a garment of many colors.... a rainbow of grace. I am no longer able to be that middle of the road man who won't take any risks. I have been transformed by a God who heard my cries for help three decades ago and will never be the same. Where he goes I go.... what he says I say. I'm dreaming backwards.... into a future....filled with love.

Jim

Daring to Dream

  Human beings spend a great deal of time dreaming. We spend fully one third of our lives sleeping..... and thus dreaming. Medical doctors tell us that in order for us to live healthy lives we need a certain type of sleep in order to refresh our bodies physically. They call it REM.... short for rapid eye movement which occurs while we dream.  It is in this phase of sleep that the bodies hormones and cellular functions are restored, strengthened and renewed. Put simply, we all need to dream.

  Dreaming is an activity vital to both physical health as well as for the soul and spirit. God has created man with both a physical self and an inner person who is far more complex than just his or her physical reality. We are born with a desire for fulfillment and purpose in this earthly life. We are born dreamers. When we are raised in a healthy environment of nurture, encouragement and provision we are in a place where our dream life can be healthy and positive. When we are abused, discouraged and neglected our soulish life becomes injured and dysfunctional. Our dreams turn to nightmares. The original purpose for which we have been created is sidetracked till we find healing and unconditional love through Jesus Christ.

  When we grow up or find later in life a community of faith, the dreams we have for ourselves find a soil in which they can grow to maturity. A dream is not a reality overnight. A dream has a long incubation period. Every dream is tested by time, by trial, by temptation and by treachery.

  The first temptation for the dreamer is to prematurely share their vision, dreams and hopes with insecure and jealous people. What God is often calling us to is so uplifting and encouraging to us  that it produces suspicion and jealousy in people who are insecure or hurt by their own failures. A wise dreamer holds their dream close to home while growing in maturity and taking steady steps in the direction of a dreams destination.

  A dream from God however true and noble will be fulfilled ultimately in a process of ongoing personal maturity. We grow into our dream as opposed to inheriting it. The bigger the dream. the more personal struggle and adversity needed to shape us into our dreams.  God fulfills his destiny in our lives by "working all things together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose (dream). (Romans 8:28)  You see, God has a dream too. Our dreams need to conform to his will and purposes in our world. Ultimately, our destiny as dreamers needs to be wrapped around character and conformity to God..... "He also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. (Romans 8:29) Personal ego and pride take our original purpose and distort it into an ugly visage of self worship.

  To be drawn into the future with a God given dream life is a healthy and necessary part of a healthy life style. Parents and friends who want the best for those they love should be dream leaders ( i.e. much like cheer leaders) cheering on those they love in prayer, counsel, provision and encouragement. But alas, due to our own selfishness, unbelief and insecurity we often hold back people who have expressed their dreams to us. Sometimes we want people to do 'what we want' or we fear the cost of failure and risk for those closest to us. Faith demands an element of risk..... and failure. When we discourage dreamers we inevitably  ensure the destruction and weakening of faith itself.

  So often in churches we find a generational disconnect from parent to child. We want our children to believe...but when we demand of them a lifestyle and direction that looks just like us, we kill the dream process and ensure a prodigal lifestyle. Running away from parents, church and institution just might be needed for a dream to be birthed in the next generation of risk takers....better known as believers.

  Today, we need to release people to dream and experience a connection with God in a fresh revelation of his creativity and compassion for a broken world. Dreamers need freedom.....not constraint and control. Dreamers need unconditional love and space to fail forward in a broken world in need of change and transformation. Dreamers who are released unconditionally, have something we all desperately need in times of transition and change: The Future.

Jim

Healing for Damaged Emotions

 We don't truly value our health until we lose it. Remaining healthy is a complex equation. We are triune beings.... God has created us as body, soul and spirit. These intertwined components of our humanity are humanly impossible to separate and yet they interact deeply and effect our wholeness..... our health. We tend to pay most of our attention to our physical health (our bodies). We attempt to watch what we eat and exercise etc.... well, most of the time! 

  Our soul is complicated. We are a bundle of emotion, will, thoughts and individual personality. We are deeply impacted by our families and the words said to us in our childhood. We were born for love. We were meant to be raised in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance. As children, our souls are vulnerable to rejection and abuse. We can't protect ourselves. When our soul is injured it affects every aspect of our life. Soul wounds don't show up on X-rays or Cat Scans. But soul wounds deeply impact our health.

  We need an encounter with truth to get well on the inside. When we believe lies about ourselves, they can torment and hurt us for a lifetime, until those deceptions are identified and removed. We desperately need healing....from the inside out. In the New Testament book of Hebrews we encounter the reality of Jesus as the healer of our soul. "For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as to divide soul, spirit, joints, and marrow; it is a judge of the ideas and thoughts of the heart. No creature is hidden from him, but all things are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give an account." (Heb. 4:12,13)

  God can see things undetectable by human eyes and sophisticated technology. He sees it all. And yet his eyes are motivated by an amazing love that seeks to heal and not condemn. He waits for us to come to him with all our brokenness to bring healing and hope when wholeness eludes us.

  The beauty of Christ is that he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. Jesus by coming as the Son of man allowed himself to be tested in every way as we are --- yet without sin. He calls us today to come to him... to the throne of GRACE, with boldness. We often need to keep coming... healing of the soul is a process. The throne of grace fortunately has an unlimited supply of mercy and grace... and it delivers healing on time. It takes time to process our soul injuries and to be healed from the inside out. While forgiveness flows immediately, our ability to process that healing takes time.

  God's not in a hurry pushing you toward healing. He is perfect love.... and love is patient. Today, start the journey. Allow his perfect vision to identify the bruised and broken places in your soul. You can't be truly whole when you ignore your emotions and disappointments and the abuse of others. We need healing for our damaged emotions.

Healing is a process of replacing lies with truth. Truth is not disembodied principles applied to problems. Truth is personal. Jesus said it this way, " I am the way, the truth, and the life, No one comes to the Father except through me." Healing always leads back to relationship.... we are healed by the TRUTH, who is Jesus himself.

  Through the counsel and application of that truth to our lives.... over time, we are healed. God by his Spirit applies the truth balm to the hurting and damaged parts of our soul and then life and health begin to spring forth. In a community of acceptance and love we can slowly and steadily walk out of the darkness of rejection, depression, perfectionism, anger and low self esteem. Healing is a journey that requires family. No one should have to walk alone. Are you tired of being  beaten down in life by lies and distortion? Are you struggling with issues of identity and purpose? You're not alone. I challenge you to call out to God and allow the truth of his word to renew and transform your mind and heart. It's in knowing the God of love that healing begins and ends. It's all about love. (Romans 12:1,2)

  If I can help you in any way, let me know. I too have been wounded in life, but by God's grace, I am choosing to be a wounded healer. Together, let's walk out of darkness, into God's marvelous light and love.

Jim

The Transparent Soul

  To love....and to be loved... There is no more fundamental and basic life need than the need for love. We were created, shaped and formed for love. There are many obstacles to achieving the love we so desperately need and crave. Humans have a deep need for connection in the 'soulish' realm. The soul is that part of us that involves our thoughts, our desires, our emotions and our sense of meaning/purpose. We want to share ourselves and connect to others who respect, admire and draw strength and even inspiration from a relationship with us. We are searching for 'soul mates' with whom we can share on a deeper level. We are hungry for true intimacy.

  In the midst of seeking for a deeper connection with another person we often stumble over many land mines along the journey toward real intimacy. The ability to reveal ourselves and know others demands much. We need to be willing to lay aside masks and hypocrisy. Often we are too familiar with our own 'act' of personal hide and seek. Today, I would like to talk about one key to finding satisfaction in life's relationships. That key is transparency.

Transparency can be defined as, "the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance.... so that bodies situated beyond it or behind it can be seen.

  As a personal quality, transparency involves the ability to let others see who we really are.Transparency demands deliverance from insecurity. A transparent soul is so over play acting and deception that 'what you see is what you get' is an every day reality in their relationships. A transparent person breathes trust into every personal interaction. There is no guile, no masks, no uncertainties or verbal jousting.

  How can we become more transparent in our lives? First of all we have to reject all the counterfeits of false intimacy. We are thrilled and enslaved with the guile and deception of lust and a sexuality stripped of commitment. But that sensual thrill has a huge price tag with a diminishing return. There is a beauty of the exterior that stripped of an internal lasting commitment never satisfies for long.  The transparent soul is unafraid to reveal the interior.... to share the real self....knowing that love differs from lust is one foundational reality: it's real. Lust is based on deceptions of 'enhancement', covering up the real with whatever trickery and falsehood that society demands.

  When we play games trying to be someone we aren't, we ensure frustration and failure in achieving intimate relationships. Intimacy is achieved only when we let people see who we really are.... and choose to allow others to be who they really are. We are all flawed and imperfect people in need of acceptance and love. The ability to love others is rooted in the gospel of love that heals wounded and broken hearts. It's when we gaze into the mirror of God's word and find the message of his unconditional love that we are empowered to strip off falsehoods and masks. No one can truly be loved for who they really are until they let go of pretension, deception and cover ups. You are who you are.... and God says you are worthy to be loved....right now.....as you are. Conditional love can never achieve intimacy. When you hear the phrase, "I will love you if......" you are not receiving the God kind of love which is the womb of intimacy and secure love. The best lovers are always the best forgivers.And God forgives us in Christ right now, "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

  We are all sinners. We all falter and fail one another in relationship. The ability to forgive and to move forward in the midst of ongoing imperfection lays the ground work for deeper intimacy. Lust demands instant gratification. Intimacy requires patience and honesty.... and commitment.

  Wearing masks and trying to hide from others who you really are is an act of sabotage against yourself. You are worthy of love right now....no matter your personality, physical appearance, IQ, job status or educational achievement. You were created by a perfect loving Father who proved his love for you by sending Jesus to heal you from the inside out. When you open yourself up to that reality you become freed from the bondage of 'working' to achieve love. You need to receive the God kind of love for what it is.... a magnificent, unfathomable gift of grace and blessing. You truly are loved perfectly and forever for who you are right now.... for real....forever. Welcome home.

Jim

Identity: Finding the Real You

 Do you know who you are? No, I am not talking about your name, your birthplace, your social security number or other pertinent facts you might be asked by a police officer if you are caught speeding on the highway. I am asking a deeper philosophical question about the core of WHO you are. In our search for meaningful lives if we leave the fundamental question of identity unanswered, we will never get to where we were meant to be in life.

  The most difficult questions to answer in life are at their root spiritual ones. They cut to the core of the meaning of life. Why am I here? For what purpose was I born? What does it really mean to be loved? Who am I anyway?

  We develop a sense of identity by the culture and environment that we are born into. We are shaped spiritually and emotionally by the words spoken to us in our childhood. We hear things said about us, even while our own ability to speak is being formed and developed. The power of words spoken over us and to us, shapes our identity and expectations of life. Our view of ourselves and our world can either be accurate or inaccurate depending on the reliability of those given access to our minds and hearts as children.

  When we are born into a home where we are loved, nurtured and cared for in a healthy environment, we are more likely to discover who we really are. The ability to think for oneself, to discover, to explore and to know ourselves is a gift of immense value and magnitude. We must know who we really are before we can find that sense of inner contentment and peace on the inside. When you don't know who you are, you'll strive to be someone else. And in that striving we torment ourselves and ultimately hurt others as well.

  We were born for love. Jesus told us clearly that relationship and purpose are deeply intertwined. In the gospel of Matthew (ch. 22 and verses 37-40) Jesus was challenged by the religious leaders of his day to answer what was the most important moral law in life. Instead of commenting on any specific behavior, Jesus answer challenges our own views of religion and morality, Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and prophets depend on these two commandments."

  Man made religion fails to understand this absolute and fundamental truth: Life is all about relationships.... and relationships to be healthy need to be honest and permeated with unconditional love and acceptance of one another. We cannot discover who we really are until we have been loved unconditionally.

  People were born for love and we will search for it inexorably until we find what we're looking. The challenge in life is to find the real deal before the false and substitutes either kill us or injure us severely. Our soul in its striving for unconditional acceptance and love will sometimes get sucked into the lies and traps of lust and relational abuse. When we don't know the way to love we'll get lost on the journey toward knowing who we really are.

  Fortunately for us, God in his mercy is on a rescue mission to help us find his love.... and ourselves. In an amazing display of the unconditional love and acceptance we all long for he came to us and showed us the way home. In the gospel of John he tell us , "For God so loved the world in this way: He gave his One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." The reality is none of us fully know who we are until we know on a personal level that deep and nearly unfathomable love of Jesus. (John 3:16)

  The love of the world is deeply marred by conditions, expectations and limitations. I will love you if....... The superficiality of the world's love is easily observed by the content of our media and entertainment. We are told who can or cannot be loved based on appearances: waistlines, facial features, skin colors, wealth etc..... the conditional love of the world creates a schizophrenia and uncertainty that frustrates and mars the human soul. We cannot find what we're looking for when the world keeps changing the measuring rod of who we're supposed to be.

  The beauty of grace and love brought to us in Jesus Christ is that you get to be yourself.... and still be loved. When you falter (and you will) you're still loved and fully accepted. Jesus does not toss you out with the garbage of your own failures and sins.... he goes out and gets you and brings you home. And in that love and acceptance you become who you were born to be.... and you find out who you really are. You are a son or a daughter of a loving God. Born for love.... and to be loved forever. Welcome home!

Road blocks to Intimacy: Unforgiveness

 In our desire for intimate, loving and meaningful relationship we inevitably run into the potential for deep hurt and disappointment. To open your heart in a broken world involves huge risk. The further we go into relational 'deep waters' the higher the risk and more costly the failure.

  Our media readily tells us how to 'fall in love' but not what to do when we 'fall out' into bitterness, pain, malice and unforgiveness. The pain of broken relationships is much worse than any physical pain. No amount of pain medicine or illicit drug use can overcome the anxiety, depression and unrelenting anger that issues out of a broken heart. How do we find healing and hope for our bruised souls?

  The natural tendency due to our broken inner lives (sin) is to seek revenge and to strike back against those who have harmed us in relationships. Jesus spoke clearly about his view on our seeking revenge, " You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'If an eye is injured, injure the eye of the person who did it. If a tooth is knocked out, knock out the tooth of the person who did it. But I say, don't resist an evil person! If you are slapped on the right cheek, turn the other, too. If you are ordered to court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow. (Mt. 5:38-41)

  Forgiveness is an amazing act of grace that connects us to a God who chooses to love us in spite of our many failures.  To forgive means that we give up resentment....we allow room for error or weaknes....or failure.  We make a decision to no longer seek payment on a wrong done to us. While our emotions might not initially be along for the ride, our will makes a choice to respond to God's grace by releasing others from their 'debts' to us. We are created with an innate sense of morality. We have inner scales that tell us (sometimes wrongly) whether we are being treated justly. When others sin against us, our first response is to attempt to balance the scales.

  Forgiveness is an outrageous act of trust in a loving God that says we believe he will make all things right in the end. We let go of the "god" card and agree to get off the throne that only the true God can sit on. We begin to agree with teachings of Jesus who said, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you, But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Mt 6:14,15)

  If life is all about relationships (and it is) than when we refuse to forgive, we cease really living. We might have a physical heart beat, but when it comes to the true meaning of life, we're dead. To be a follower of Christ means to live a life that actively seeks to make peace with people...even those have deeply hurt and offended us.  Jesus said it well, "Blessed are the those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." (Mt. 5:9)

  When we're offended we often argue for our 'rights'. We demand what is rightfully ours and won't budge until we get what we feel we deserve. We forget how deeply we ourselves need to be forgiven. To be a follower of Jesus Christ means to be a person who willingly surrenders their human rights to receive their heavenly promise. Jesus is building a kingdom where mercy rains down on all who call upon him in  truth. You can 'get what you want'' while missing what you really need.

  Following Jesus means we prepare ourselves to make allowances for each other's faults and forgive those who offend us. We remember that God has forgiven us...and so we choose by God's grace to forgive... to release others to God. Yes, there are consequences for evil behavior done by others. Yes, relationships that are built upon trust take time to be rebuilt and the fractures often take years to heal completely if ever. ... But forgive, we must. (Colossians 3:13)

  Perhaps you have been deeply hurt by someone. Perhaps you have been betrayed, abused or rejected. The pain is immense. You are struggling to go on even now. There are parts of your emotional life you dare not open to others because of what has happened to you. God is not expecting you to forgive in your own strength. We first need to receive his love, grace and forgiveness and in the process of his touch...we are empowered to release. When we take our two arms and embrace all of grace, the power of revenge is emasculated and broken.

  Love doesn't demand forgiveness as much it empowers and enables it. When you know the love that will never end, you're able to bury the pain, the hurt and horrors of what happened to you.  The sting of death and the stench of abuse never go away on their own. It takes the power of a risen and loving Savior to set us free... in this life and ultimately in the next.

  Intimacy and love are waiting at the door of your heart and soul. Today, let go of the burden of revenge. Receive the forgiveness and love you so desperately need.... and be free....at last. Forgive and be healed from the inside out.

Jim

Insecurity

Insecurity Keeps us in a prison of our own making.

An insecure person is one of the most dangerous people on the planet...to themselves and to anyone around them. That is a bold statement to begin a brief note about the topic of insecurity. What does it mean to be insecure?  An insecure person is someone who is not confident or sure....uncertain....not firmly rooted, fastened or fixed. Insecurity flows out of identity confusion. When you don't know who you really are as a person, it's impossible to feel secure in oneself. Symptoms of insecurity include fear, anxiety, jealousy and envy.

An insecure person is someone who spends tremendous effort in hiding who they really are. They tend to spend money and time looking and acting like others in their peer group. There is a a tendency to focus on appearances and not on deeper issues of character and commitment. Emotionally and relationally, insecurity breeds a tendency toward holding on to what should be released or rejected. An insecure person ironically has great difficulty in receiving affirmation, forgiveness and acceptance.

  When insecurity steers your soul, collisions and conflict are inevitable. Insecure people tend to have revolving door relationships and friendships. When you don't like who you are, you inevitably don't believe that others are capable of liking you either. This leads to the development of relational schizophrenia. You become adept at developing multiple personalities that you 'wear' depending upon who you are with at the moment. Conflict in relationships for the insecure is inevitable because all relationships demand some level of honesty and transparency. When people begin to unravel your masks you react and strike back out of your your own inherent anxiety and fears. The result is the tendency to withdrawl and abandon... and start the same unhealthy cycle all over again. A lot of people know your name... but no one really knows you. Insecure people are deeply lonely and isolated no matter how busy their social calendar. Since insecure people are seeking for acceptance and love using artificial and ineffective methods, they frequently act out to reduce their inner pain. The acting out can involve sexual promiscuity, abuse of drugs or alcohol or physical and emotional abuse. An insecure person feels a lack of control over their lives. They can't stand being alone, but because of self deception and the wearing of masks they always feel alone. No one really know a truly insecure person.

  What is the way out of relational prison for an insecure person? The foundational principle in all of life's inner healing is this: God cannot fix something that we deny is broken. The first step to healing is always to admit and reveal our broken places. Jesus profoundly tell us of a progressive healing of the soul that comes when we apply truth to our lives, "You shall know the truth... and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) God wants to transform us into who we really were born to be. He does this by changing the way we think about ourselves. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (Romans 12:2)

  People get lost physically because they don't know where they are. People get lost spiritually because they don't know who they are. God's word provides the answer regarding our identity issues to all who will be humble enough to ask, seek and knock.

  You were born to be loved.You have to know who you are before you know what to do. In an atmosphere of of love, acceptance and forgiveness we become who God created us to be. Insecurity dissipates over time when we know we're loved for who we really are. We can lay aside the masks and self deception and for the first time experience the power and pure joy of relational intimacy. You can be healed of insecurity..... you must be healed. Let's walk into the light of God's love, acceptance and forgiveness together....welcome home...welcome to love.

Learning to Listen

 Life's deepest meaning and fulfillment is found in relationships built on love. Life is meant to be a shared experience of self giving and receiving. One of the key skills that make relationships satisfying is the ability to really hear one another. To really 'know' one another we first need to hear one another at every level of reality. Who are you really? Who am I? Listen, really listen and you discover the deeper and more profound layers of reality that is the person you seek to know and love.

  When we really want to know and love someone we develop an intensity and focus that moves us beyond casual observation. Distracted and selfish people make poor lovers and horrible friends. The selfish man and woman demand that the universe circle around their own demands and desires. The ability to really hear is dependent on seeing the value in the object of your desire and love. When we lay aside the mirrors focused on self we begin to see the reality that self satisfaction is dependent on relationships of sacrifice and giving. As St. Francis has
said, "It's in giving to all men that we receive, and in dying (to self) that we are born to eternal life."

  The ability to perceive and enjoy beauty is dependent on being immersed in truth. Lies distort beauty and bend it to the will of lust and the externals of appearance.  When we begin to love others in purity we begin to hear things others ignore and belittle. The beauty of a child's laughter, the whisper of wisdom from a grandfather, the unspoken hopes of a youth in transition, the poetic desire of blooming love all serve to open our hearts to what really matters: love in all its forms, ages, shapes and realities. We were born for one another in an endless circle of relational love.

  Listening takes time. It says you are worthy of waiting and straining in the direction of knowing who you really are.  It says, "Tell me your story, I really want to know you, I am not in a hurry, you are worthy of my time....my life and my all." Are you a good listener?

  Do you want to know love in all its depth and beauty? You will have to learn to listen! You cannot love, really and truly love someone that you don't have respect for. You cannot respect one that you're not truly listening to. Love listens carefully for what has been said, what isn't being said and for what needs to be said.

Love Listens.

Intimacy Killers: Insecurity

  There is perhaps no bigger human need than for relational intimacy. Simply put, we need to be loved. But so few actually experience the relational intimacy they so desperately strive for. What is it that keeps us from being satisfied in our relationships? 

  When you think of the word intimacy, what comes to mind? For many of us in America who are conditioned by an over sexed culture, we imagine images related to the purely physical aspects of intimacy. But intimacy like all human needs has three dimensions to it. We are all triune beings made up of body, soul and spirit. Achieving true intimacy demands a balanced understanding of our humanity.

  Intimacy speaks of our need to be loved for who we really are. We desire to be known. We desire to be understood. We desire to be accepted, enjoyed and shared. Intimacy needs show forth humans for who they really are: relational beings created to give and receive love. When our 'love banks' receive too few deposits, we break down on the inside.

  Today, I would like to discuss the intimacy killer known as insecurity. Intimacy demands safety. No one can be satisfied relationally or achieve intimacy in an environment of danger and distress. When we don't have to 'watch our back' we are able to open up and be ourselves. There are at least 3 key areas that insecurity injures in the life of relational intimacy.

  First, a truly insecure person hides who they really are. When a person is unable to reveal their true self, intimacy dies. Identity masks confuse, control and conceal. Make no mistake, you can't be intimate until the cover ups come off.  Intimacy and concealment are polar opposites. You must be healed of insecurity. When we try to be someone we aren't, we might receive the attention we crave, but we will never achieve true love and intimacy. You can't be loved for someone you aren't! Insecurity begins to be healed when we move toward the revelation that we can be loved and accepted by others for who we really are. It is rooted in an understanding that we are made in the image of God. We are worthy to be loved because we are shaped and formed by a God of love. (Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139: 13,14)

  Second, insecure people hold on to what they should release. When we don't believe we are worthy of the purest forms of love, we often build fractured and damaged relationships. We accept abuse, injury and control as our relational norms. We  are so afraid of 'being alone' we invite relational terrorists into our inner spaces. We grasp for the love we so desperately need and in our lack of discernment ensure we fail to achieve true intimacy. Brokenness breeds more brokenness not wholeness. What you believe about yourself ultimately determines what you expect, allow and embrace in your relational life. When you are insecure, you find it difficult to believe that you deserve to have unconditional love at the core of your relational life. You ask yourself, "Will anyone ever really love me for who I am?" The messages of our media and culture pound our minds with lies of deception, envy and disappointment. Our mirrors remind us of who we aren't.... of who we can never be. But God reminds us again.... and again, "because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made, Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well." (Psalm 139: 14) When you know you are loved for who you really are.....that's intimacy.

  Third, insecure people resist what they desperately need. Because insecure people don't believe they can be truly loved for who they are in reality they create pseudo relationships based on falsehoods and deception. They dress, act and communicate lies non-stop until they forget who they really are. They attract people to themselves who are often unable to be true to themselves as well. Two play actors go through the motions of relationship hating themselves and each other more every day.... they lament, "Why can't you satisfy me?" We demand of human beings what they in themselves are incapable.... unconditional love that will never end. You see, you were created to know and enjoy a perfect relationship.... with God....in Christ. When you ignore the reality that you are spiritual, you place all your relational needs and demands on finite and imperfect people. It's when we stop resisting God's perfect and unconditional love that the healing on the inside begins. A forever perfected love fills in the gaps that people can never possibly fill. It takes faith to receive this amazing gift of grace.  Intimacy in relationships demands faith at every level. We must believe to move forward in any relationship. Not everyone is deserving of faith and trust in relationships ...... but some are. In our tainted past of pain, disappointments and betrayal we often close ourselves off to the real deal. We resist what we so desperately need.

  You were created to be loved!  Don't let your own insecurities keep you bound in a prison of your own making. You can be loved for who you really are. Let it begin today with a simple prayer, "God, open the eyes of my heart. I want to experience your unconditional love in my life. Protect me from the false and empty lies of deception in this world. I want the real intimacy I was created for. Help me to believe that you created me as I am. Help me to believe I am worthy of the amazing love that sent Jesus to die for my sins. Heal my broken heart. Amen."

Jim

Intimacy Killers: Control

  To be loved for who you are is the most essential human need. The development and growth of intimacy in our relationships demands maturity and selflessness. It's difficult to find deeply satisfying relationships, but easy to have shallow and frustrating 'friendships'.

 Due to our own insecurities and fears we often resort to ineffective and fatal behaviors in our relationships. Perhaps one of the most fatal of all is the manifestation of a controlling spirit. True love inspires, enables and empowers freedom of choice. All true love is rooted and grounded in the ability to move forward and maintain the relationship based on freedom and trust.

When we try to take control of another persons choices in relationship, we ensure the death of any possibility of true intimacy. A spirit of control closes the human spirit and damages the soul. We were not born to be 'controlled' and manipulated....we were born for real love.

The worst form of counterfeit love and intimacy is rooted in a horrific mutation of love known as narcissism.... the pathologic love of self. The narcissist doesn't love the other... he or she seeks to smother...to suffocate....to shape the other into whatever brings the ego the greatest pleasure of the moment. The root cause of a controlling spirit is the worship of self. The controller must be satisfied above all else...above all others. The partner of a controller is a slave of whatever they want: sex, attention, adulation, conversation, money or someone to hurt deeply.

The tragic end of someone dominated by a controlling spirit is the destruction of all their relationships and ultimately themselves. When we don't allow others to be free to love or reject us.... to set up boundaries in relationships based on trust and the natural patterns of growth over time that intimacy demands... to that extent we enslave ourselves to faux relationships based on lies and deception.

The more we attempt to squeeze others to conform to what we want....the more we dishonor them. People are made in the image of their creator who describes himself for us with three simple words, "God is love". God's image in us is honored and respected when we allow others to choose in relationship. God's great love doesn't demand a response....it wins a response through proving his love. You can't love someone you don't trust. You can't be intimate with someone who seeks to use you for his or her own selfish desires.

Intimacy demands freedom. Do you seek for deeply satisfying relationships? Begin today to set others free in your life. Stop demanding what you want and start giving who you really are... no strings .... no chains. Real love is both a choice and a gift. You can't demand it...but you can give it and receive it from a God who is true love personified.

The Risk of Faith

 Ever get to a place in life where you realize, " I can't keep doing this forever, something has to change!" You have an uneasy feeling on the inside that says you haven't become who you were supposed to be and you're not doing what you were born to do. You know you need to change. You know your circumstances need to change .....but you're afraid that the price tag of change is too high. Frankly, you're afraid and caught in the middle of a place called 'the land between''.

  What you're experiencing is the realization that indeed there is very real risk involved in making significant life changes. We're not talking about a change in your physical appearance, your diet or your schedule. We're talking about the big things of life.... the WHO, the WHERE, the WHAT and ultimately the for WHOM. Since we are born for a specific purpose by a God who knows what he's doing we're all frustrated when we're misplaced in life. We're lost in life till we find our place, our person and our passion. Who am I? Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing?  If you haven't answered those questions adequately your soul suffers deeply. You always KNOW when you're not being honest about these three key dynamics in life.

  Let's talk a little about RISK. Risk defined is a possibility of loss, injury or danger. It's interesting that God's call to follow him in relationship implies absolute trust and a willingness to go where we've never gone.... to lean totally on his character and not KNOW the where, the how or many other pertinent details. The sum of God's requirement to please him is a VERY risky proposition: " But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he who comes to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him."

  It's one thing to know you need to make changes in your life. It's quite another to make the changes you need to make to get to where you know you need to go. Fear has the power to paralyze our movement toward our destiny. You'll always have to leave something, someone and some place before you can get to the 'next place' in life. Without Faith and trust in the God of love many won't go....the fear of the unknown is closely related to our not KNOWING the ONE who is love.

  Are you STUCK? Are you in a place of enduring frustration and dissatisfaction? Is your stomach churning and your mind racing at night? Perhaps you're being called to the place of risk with a God who can be trusted to care for you on life's challenging twist and turns.... your own pilgrimmage of personal faith. Change is not an enemy, it's your best friend calling you into the future... to a place prepared for you in every detail by a God who knows your name.... knows your desires, your talents, your dreams and has hand painted them into your soul.

  The frustration we all feel at times in life is often fueled by the God who wants something better for us... he doesn't want us to camp at wells gone dry or in relationships gone bad. He wants to change us, empower us, guide us and fulfill us. But all that involves an ongoing relationship of faith.... and risk.  The risk is that we can't control the God who calls us to himself.... but once you begin to know him and how much he loves you, you begin to relax and enjoy the journey.  You were born to experience life as adventure...there is an element of the explorer in all of us. When we deny our need for adventure and settle down into a 'risk free' life we shove a knife into our soul and die a slow death. Faith is all about trust...we move and make changes with no guarantees except that the God who calls us forward into the future is GOOD and LOVE.

  Are you moving into the future prepared for you? Or are you holding onto a past that no longer exists?  Let's follow the example of faithful Abraham, "By faith Abraham obeyed when was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out not knowing where he was going. By faith he dwelled in the land of promise...." (Heb. 11:8)

Jim

Intimacy Killers: Infidelity

  In order to develop and maintain intimacy in our relationships we must have a character quality known as fidelity.  Fidelity is defined as faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray. Intimacy demands loyalty and devotion to whom we are committed. 

  Infidelity in relationships between men and women is one of the most frequently cited causes for relational failure. It is important we understand the why behind the necessity of faithfulness and fidelity in our relationships. When we go back to our 'relational roots' in the book of Genesis we see that intimacy and satisfaction in relationship was a God idea. Men and women were joined in a mutually satisfying unique creation.... the two were united into one. They were completely intimate, vulnerable, satisfied and without shame. ( see Genesis 2:18-25)

  Infidelity is more than an isolated physical act or relationship outside of marriage. Infidelity is rooted in the false belief that we can find 'what we're looking for' in intimacy outside of a committed relationship. It's a lie that plays upon our broken and sinful nature guaranteeing what it can never deliver. The sin trap begins when we look beyond the truth right in front of us to embrace the lie just beyond us. In the context of relational intimacy, infidelity often begins with lust. Lust is defined as unbridled sexual desire. Lust allows  the eyes and heart to wander outside of what is righteous and true. It seeks to take what it wants. It's not rooted in true love...it demands, it grabs. Lust is rooted in selfish desire though it often acts the part of genuine love. Jesus tells us that 'anyone who even looks on a woman with lust in his eye has  already committed adultery with her in his heart'. In a society and culture saturated with sexual imagery, its little wonder we have so few truly committed and intimate relationships. Betrayal is an act that damages all three dimensions of who we are as men and women. (Body, Soul & Spirit)

  Infidelity impacts our physical, emotional and spiritual selves. Once we cross the line of faithfulness in our marriage, we damage both ourselves and those who we claim to love. If you are married and you seek for intimacy outside of a relationship with your husband or wife you are guilty of infidelity and in danger of destroying yourself and your spouse.

  There is something uniquely destructive to human beings when we are guilty of sexual immorality. In 1 Corinthians chapter 6 we read, "But our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise our bodies from the dead by his marvelous power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead. Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man (or woman) take his body which belongs to Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don't you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the scriptures say, "The two become one." But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."

  When we sexually unite with another human we become "one" with that person in every conceivable dimension. There is no such thing as 'casual sex'.  What God created for committed relationship is beautiful and satisfying in the right context. When we take our sexuality and spread it around beyond the safe boundaries of committed love we damage every aspect of our humanity. The intimacy we seek through unbridled sexual relationships often ensures we will never find what we're looking for.

  Real intimacy demands committed and life long relationships which are willing to work through differences, disappointments and disagreements. Intimacy at its core is a spiritual reality that must involve the foundation stones of faith, hope and love. The counterfeits of self, lust and sensuality will never satisfy ultimately. Life long love is built on spiritual substance that will never fail us, never leave us, and never forsake. True intimacy is rooted in a God of love who can make all things new in our relationships. He can heal our broken hearts and give us pure desires. Today, I urge you to forsake infidelity and lust for the real deal of committed love. Intimacy awaits.

Finding My Roots: The Mather Legacy

When I was 5 years old my parents took me for my first dental appointment. I don't remember much of my visit other than something the dentist said to me in the presence of my father. The dentist leaned down in my direction and whispered, "Your family name is important, when you are older you need to learn about the history of your family." When I was 8 years old my father bought an encylopedia and I looked up the Mather name. In the meantime my father had researched our family genealogy and verified we are direct descendents of the Mather's who immigrated to America as Puritan minister. As I have gotten older the history and calling these men experienced has had a direct impact on my life. That dentist whispering into a 5 year old child's ear helped me rediscover my roots. I would like to share a little bit about the Mather family who immigrated to America so long ago. Richard Mather was the first of my family to arrive to America. He was born in 1596 near Liverpool, England.  He became a believer as a teenager.  After brief study at Oxford University, in 1619 Mather was ordained as an Anglican minister. In more than a decade of pastoral ministry, he upheld Calvinist orthodoxy while keeping clear of the Anglican ceremonies, he and other Puritans found objectionable. In 1633 Mather was briefly suspended from his position; the following year he lost it. In 1635, Richard and his family took sail for Massachusetts.
  Richard was soon installed as pastor of the small church in Dorchester, just south of Boston. He had 2 major accomplishments in his work there: 1. He persuaded the congregation to require that those wanting to be members provide a convincing account of their own conversion, the goal being a church composed of 'visible saints'. 2. He composed the bulk of the Cambridge platform (1649), a sort of Robert's rule of order for the government of New England churches. Richard died in 1669.
  Richards son, Increase has been hailed as the "greatest American Puritan". Increase was a dominant figure and the leading voice for orthodox Calvinism in an era when rationalism was beginning to undermine the Bay Colony's  religious foundations.
  Increase attended Harvard receiving his B.A. in 1656. But instead of staying at Harvard for his M.A. he enrolled in Trinity College, Dublin, from which he received his master's degree in 1658. In 1664 Increase was called to Pastor Boston's  Second Church, where he remained until his death. He spent most of his waking hours in his study, preparing the biblically grounded, theologically sophisticated sermons his congregation demanded. His delivery was free, direct and vivid. Many of his sermons were published.
  Increase was appointed a fellow of Harvard College and a member of the school's corporation in 1675. 10 years later he was elected President. He insisted on retaining his pastorate.  His absence from the campus while pastoring resulted in his ouster in 1701 by religious liberals... the low point of his ministry.
  The high point of his ministry was when Increase was called to London to negotiate the return of the colony's original charter, which has been rescinded by Charles 2.... although he failed in the task he greatly influenced the new charter granted by King William. Increased died in 1723.
  Cotton Mather was born in 1663. He was named for his maternal grandfather, the well known John Cotton. Cotton mastered Latin, Greek and Hebrew and graduated from Harvard at the age of 15. He followed both his father and grandfather into the ministry having become a believer in his teen years. In 1685 he was ordained and installed as his father's associate Pastor at Boston's North Church.
Cotton shared his father's commitment to evangelical Calvinism. But where Increase's sermons were plain and direct, Cotton's were ornate and full of literary references and deep theology.
 While Increase focused on the preaching and study, Cotton canvassed house by house across Boston...reaching the unchurched! He even composed an instructional booklet to guide other pastors in evangelism.
  Cotton also organized small groups of a dozen or so members, which met in private homes once or twice a month for the purpose of prayer, bible study and fellowship. Such groups contributed vitally to the health of North church.
  Regrettably, most closely associated with Cotton's name is the Salem witch trials of 1692. In fact Cotton denounced the way the trials were being conducted, insisting on more objective proof. It was the united opposition of Boston's clergy that was crucial in ending the trials and saving dozens from the gallows.
  Cotton's supreme achievement was in drawing on the perspectives of Puritans like Richard Baxter and German Pietists like August  Hermann Francke to forge a distinctively American spirituality. This new piety would finally come into its own with birth of American evangelicalism in the 19th and 20th centuries. Mather's ministry bridged the gap between what was and what was to be.
  For years, Cotton Mather prayed for New England's spiritual awakening, praying that God would agains pour out his Spirit on its churches and communities. In 1728 his death brought and end to the Mather spiritual dynasty of the era, but within a decade came the answer to his prayers--the Great Awakening! (excerpted from an article by George W. Harper)
  I became a Christian just before my 21st birthday on August 2nd, 1980. Now I look back on what the first Mather's in America accomplished and realize the power of a Godly heritage. I feel the power of the prayers of my forbears from centuries ago and long to serve faithfully in my generation. Thank you God for calling my family from England so long ago. Help me Lord to serve you with the same faith, dedication and vision that the early American Mather's were known for!

Jim
 

Prayers from Hell

When we think about praying we almost always assume it's a good thing. As young children if we are raised in a religious family we are taught how to pray and the importance of prayer. But prayer is in fact a struggle for most of us. The idea of speaking to an almighty and eternal being is often awkward and intimidating. What exactly should I be praying about?
  I have been a Christian since August 2nd, 1980. I have prayed quite a few prayers since then!  I would like to tell you I am adept at praying and all my prayers are unselfish and powerful. However, if I did I would be lying... another sin I need to avoid! The truth is sometimes I have prayed horrible, selfish prayers that in some distinct ways were inspired from hell. I want to share with you an example from own life of such a prayer. Prayer is such a vital, powerful and life giving form of communication that we dare not waste a single word in the presence of God. Please stay with me as I share my heart on this important topic I have entitled, "Prayers from Hell".
  I moved to Mobile, Alabama in July, 1998. I have lived next to the USA campus since my arrival. Upon my arrival to Mobile I wanted to stay in shape so I began the daily ritual of jogging around the campus for both physical and spiritual exercise. I would pray for things as I jogged the entire perimeter of the University of South Alabama. On the corner of University and Old Shell I was often confronted with the Solomon's restaurant and bar. It was a 'notorious' place noted for the frequent appearance of the Police and criminal activity. One night one of our international students walking through the parking lot was mugged and robbed. I got into the habit of praying daily for God to 'shut down' Solomon's. My full name is James John Mather. I am named after the two brothers who were Jesus apostles, James and John. They both were nicknamed "Sons of Thunder" for wanting to call down destruction on anyone who would not follow Jesus their way. Unfortunately, I have much in common with my namesakes! I am often too quick to judge and too slow to have mercy and compassion. I prayed for 10 years for God to close Solomon's. One day while jogging around the campus, God stopped me in my tracks as I prayed my time worn but ineffective prayer. Here is what I think I heard God say, "You're praying the wrong prayer!" At once I felt both shock and humility. I stopped running and  listened for what God might say next. I felt a distinct impression that God was telling me to pray for the people inside the Solomon's business. " I want you to pray for the people inside... the customers, the workers, the business owners."  That's what I felt I heard God say. I began to pray in that manner with compassion and concern for the people... and not with the goal to condemn...but to redeem. A few months later the lights went out at Solomon's.  The sign board out front listed a cell phone number for anyone interested in leasing the building.
  We were in the early stages of launching an international church in Mobile and I wondered if God might have us use the former Solomon's building as our first location. We called the number. Some of our leadership team met with the two brothers who owned the business. On our first meeting I apologized for any part my prayers might have had in Solomon's closing. They looked shocked at my statement but said they were glad it closed. Int their own words the business was 'killing them'. It quickly became apparent that we were not to lease the Solomon's building but instead embrace and welcome the former owners of Solomon's into our church family. Howard and Steve Weller have now become close friends and very involved in our church. I officiated at Steve's wedding and have walked with both of them through the trials of physical illness. To put it simply, I love the men whose business I was praying closed. I was praying the wrong prayer. When I began to pray for the people on the inside of that bar, God took notice. I don't want to be a "Son of Thunder" any longer. I want to be a son of God.... full of love, compassion and mercy. I want to intercede with prayers from heaven....not from hell.  Will you join me?

The Wizards of Washington D.C.

The current economic maelstrom consuming the world's attention reminds me of a critical scene in the classic movie, "The Wizard of Oz". Dorothy and her friends finally make it to the land of Oz to seek the missing pieces in their lives in the audience of the great cosmic power of the Wizard of Oz. Behind the curtain we find a weak and ineffective leader who has a  lot of smoke but no fire.
  In the last week, the curtain has been drawn back upon the Wizards of Washington D.C., the European Union (as well as Wall Street) have been found to be severely lacking in their ability to fix the collapsing confidence of a broken world. The banks and the welfare of many people around the world has been simply robbed by clever but heartless bankers and political scoundrels. Now when we hear the voices of the wizards no one believes.... no one is moved to cower back into our caves of false comfort. We simply don't believe their words anymore.
  We are in for a 'day of reckoning' and austerity. We no longer can be cajoled into spending money we don't have or to believe that the wizards know best. The entire Western World has become indebted to the point of insolvency... bankrupt. If we are to avoid war and anarchy we need a moral renewal much alike the great awakenings of early America. Democracy in times of crisis is dependent on a moral people.... to restrain us from fear, criminal behavior and absolute chaos.
  We have become a world where evil is called good... and good evil. There is more fear about people being called to prayer than there is to ongoing riots in the streets of London or Syria. We have lost the moral foundation that produces prosperity and wonder how we wound up broke. Our financial condition personally and corporately is a reflection of who we are on the inside. We are empty and uncertain about what is really true...what is really important and thus our civilization is at a massive turning point. The way forward is in fact to look back and search for the conditions and realities that produced our prosperity in the first place... a commitment to truth and absolutes that cannot be sullied and ignored for very much longer.
Praying for a 3rd great awakening to shake the world and return us to God.

Jim

When the Walls fall down

The pressure is unrelenting. An unceasing torrent of information about economics, debt and a financial armageddon knocking at our door. A few days ago we breathed a 'sigh of relief' at a phantom debt agreement. The political shenanigans had the immediate impact of collapsing world markets. The reality has broken through the smoke and mirrors of world governments. The mirage of false prosperity no longer offers even faint hope for a world where multiple walls continue to fall.
  We can't print more paper currency and 'juice and seduce' people to buy stuff they can't afford and don't really need. We are now facing the music of reality. The world is broke and broken. Mammon is an unrelenting but ultimately unsatisfying false god. The last book of the New Testament.... the Revelation, has much to say about economic turmoil and it's root causes. In Revelation 18 we are brought into a future reality that appears to be nearly upon us. " After this I saw another angel with great authority coming down from heaven, and the earth is illuminated by his splendor. He cried in a mighty voice: It has fallen, Babylon the Great has fallen! She has become a dwelling for demons, a haunt for every every unclean spirit, a haunt for every unclean and despicable beast. For all the nations have drunk the wine of her sexual immorality, which brings wrath. The kings of the earth have committed sexual immorality with her, and the merchants of the earth have grown wealthy from her excessive luxury. (Rev. 18: 1-3)
  There are no more seductive forces on the earth than the lust for power, money and sex. They are intimately related. When our life is given over to any form of  idolatry, there is a high cost to ourselves and to the world in which we live. God gives us a warning to come out of the deception of idolatry here in chapter 18, "Come out of her, My people, so that you will not share in her sins, or receive any of her plagues. For her sins are piled up to heaven, and God has remembered her crimes. Pay her back the way she also paid, and double it according to her works. In the cup which she mixed, mix a double portion for her. As much as she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, give her that much torment and grief."  Evil will not always reign supreme in our world. There comes a time when what we have sown will come back to haunt us. If we are not living lives based upon truth and righteousness the wall of idolatry and falsehood will collapse suddenly back down upon us.
  Worldwide we are seeing the beginnings of a massive financial collapse. Those who worshiped at the false idol of the money god are weeping during the day and sleepless at night. Revelation 18: 15, "The merchants of these things who became rich from her, will stand off in fear of her torment, weeping and mourning and saying,: Woe, woe, the great city, clothes in fine linen, purple and scarlet, adorned with gold, precious stones, and pearls; because in a single hour such fabulous wealth was destroyed!
  The global economy is seamlessly connected like never before. The illusion of economic and political unions are melting like wax under the heat of unrelenting truth. Greed has a massive payday and its backlash is fiscal collapse. What to do when all around us walls are falling? The answer is simple and yet profound. Jesus said it best in the context of dealing with worry and anxiety in the gospel of Matthew chapter 6, "This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what your will wear.  Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky; they don't sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you worth more than they?  (vs 25-26) In verse 33 Jesus makes an astounding and vital promise to those who would follow him as Lord and Savior, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things (necessities of life) will be provided for you."
  We'll have what we need when we really know who we are..... who God is .... and how we should live in the light of that knowledge: full surrender to his will and ways.  When the walls of this world collapse there is one still standing who will never leave us....never forsake us.....never stop loving us. Why don't you join me in following him to the place of real and lasting joy....It's all about relationship.

Jim
www.allnationsmobile.org