Tearing Off the Masks

Do you know who you really are? Do others know the REAL you? A mask is designed and worn to conceal and to cover the real. Masks are so commonly worn in our relationships that they often become our reality. We don't know what it is like to take off our false identity and sense of self. It wasn't meant to be this way. We were created with a unique sense of beauty and inherent value by God.  We are stamped with an amazing and indelible image..... the image of God. "Then God said, Let us make man in Our image, according to our likeness..." No matter how broken we might become because of evil, abuse, failure or our own wayward ways, that image is never totally erased. We know we were born for love.  But part of the fallout from sin in our world is a deep sense of insecurity that plays on our sense of inherent value. We doubt we will ever find deep intimacy if people knew the 'real us'.  So we begin the confusing and tiring task of taking on multiple false identities. The strain of wearing masks to please others is both burdensome and debilitating. The more energy we take in becoming someone we're not, the less strength we have to just be who we really are. The longer we do down the road in this game of masquerade, the more in danger we are of losing our souls.  Your soul is the real you. Your personality, emotion, dreams, passion, gifting and desires are all wrapped tightly together into a physical package of unique DNA. God made you to be who you are. When you let go of that treasure and that supreme value of the unique you....well you're now as lost as you could ever be.
  No job, no relationship, no physical location will ever completely satisfy the man or woman who has lost their soul to a false identity. When you clothe yourself in another's desire and fantasy, you wake up with a deep sense of emptiness and despair. You may have the empty praise of a few 'friends' but you know deep inside they don't even know you. You might even be years into a marriage or intimate relationship scared to death knowing you've never revealed the real you. You've taken your clothes off, but you've never opened your heart up. Your deepest fear is that this house of cards built with masks might be revealed. What then?
  What has forced you to keep the masks on?  The biggest reason we don't come out and reveal who we really are is fear.... a deep sense of dread that if people really knew us, they would reject us. And it is certainly possible that we would face rejection from others when we initially 'come clean'. Not everyone knows what love is. Not everyone is fully capable of embracing truth in any form. But there is a source of unconditional love in a relationship with the God who made you..... You.  Yes, God knows everything about you.... and he likes that..... he loves you.  True beauty is founded not on an outward image but on an inward reality and truth far deeper and lasting. You were created, shaped and formed by a master creator whose nature is absolute and pure love.
  That mask you're wearing is not your friend. It's a burden that you must tear off of your face... your heart.... your mind. It's breaking your heart to not be truly loved for who you are .....right now. Life is all about relationships and you were created to love and to be loved.... for who you really are.
You're beautiful. God made you and he loves you the way you really are.  Look deep inside and listen for the voice of love, the voice of affirmation, the voice of truth. Let the masks come off today.... tear them off and come alive to the love you know you need.

Jim
 

Deception & Relationships

  Have you ever been deceived? There is a unique pain and disappointment involved in being the victim of deceit. Deception involves a break in trust. All of life's meaningful relationships demand trust and are built on the ability to have 'good faith' in what we are being told about what's real and what isn't. Deception involves a misrepresentation about what's really happening. It's a distortion of the facts for the purpose of selfish advantage. Deception is subtle. We often don't realize we are being played the fool. Once we realize we've been the victim of deception we are deeply hurt and embarrassed. How did we not detect the falsehood and lies?

  Truth and lies are the substance of spiritual reality. When we live life based upon truth we are dwelling in safety. When we live life based upon lies we are dwelling in disaster. Our ability to discern truth and error flow out of the condition of our souls. An injury to our inner person hinders our ability to discern whether we are being lied to. Our spiritual condition also plays a big role in creating healthy boundaries and a sense of what is real or false.

  The necessity of a 'second birth' is fundamental to knowing what is true and false. All of us are born in a state of imperfection spiritually. We are born broken on the inside. Jesus talked about our need to be 'born from above'. Being born again spiritually begins a process where our inner self begins to discern truth from error. The reality is that deception is really an inside job. When we don't understand how our injured soul (emotional and mental self) impacts our lives we respond to life's events out of hurt instead of health. Hurt people are easily deceived. Hurt and injured people fundamentally have no idea who they really are.

  The necessity of unconditional love and acceptance in our lives is absolute and imperative. We need to be loved. We need to be accepted for who we are.....where we are.....right now. The world often operates on principles of shame and control. When we encounter brokenness, we often respond with rejection and barriers. The depth of our brokenness and pain often creates an ongoing cycle of continuing rejection. We feel isolated and alone. We are a set up for deception. Often deception begins with a baited lie of false acceptance. The deceiver 'plays' on your brokenness....your aloneness and offers false hope and empty promises of relationship or security or whatever is lacking.

  The need for real unconditional love drives all of human behavior. When you encounter the real deal you've found something true and something forever. God is love. When you encounter religion or religious people who put up false walls and boundaries not based on truth (God's word), you must run fast and far from them. There are perhaps no more dangerous people on the planet than religious people who love conditionally. Conditional love is a fruit of insecurity and pride. If people have an 'agenda' in their relationship with you, its conditional love.

  Jesus best illustrates truth and unconditional love. In the gospel of John we read the profound and central message of good found in our world. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it."

Selfless love begins and ends for a broken world with a genuine Savior who accepts and loves us where are..... but he doesn't leave us there. Truth applied to our lives both transforms and heals us from the inside out. Are you hurting?  The worst pain imaginable is seldom healed by medicine or surgery alone. The worst pain is often a fruit of injuries to the soul. We are born into a broken world and few escape uninjured. My prayer for you today is that you will encounter the unconditional love and acceptance that grace makes available. To be free of deception and walk in truth is the gateway to healing and wholeness. Truly, it is the truth that sets us free.

Jim

Confusion

Confused? Wondering where life is taking you? What about that relationship? Just who are you anyway? Why? These are question that haunt our soul and drive us to wonder and frustration. To put it in the simplest terms, when you don't know where you're going..... you're lost!

  Confusion can be defined as being in a state of contradiction.... mixed up, disordered. A confused person is disturbed in mind or purpose.... they are 'jumbled up' on the inside...emotionally , mentally, relationally.

  Confusion at it's deepest root is a fruit of a spiritual disconnect. God is not the author of confusion....but of peace~1 Cor. 14:33. When we try to define who we are....where we are to go.....what we are to do and who we are to be with....apart from the God who made us, we get confused.

  In our search for clarity and a defined purpose we can wrap our lives around, we need to be connected to our maker. Spirituality is not a wasted effort when we realize our design is meant to define and direct us toward our destiny. You are not randomly placed on the planet with your peculiar talents, desires, dreams and personality. You are you, because you were shaped, formed and created for a specific reason. When you're missing the mark (sin) of that defined purpose and destiny, you'll feel it on the inside. You will know. You will feel that empty and burning pain in your gut (your inner person/soul) that something is 'not right'.

  Did you ever feel like there are two of you fighting and struggling for control of your life? When we don't know who we really are, we can be tempted to take on multiple personas. In James ch. 1 and verses 5-6 we get some wise counsel on overcoming confusion, "Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticising, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. An indecisive man (or woman) is unstable in all his ways.

  We are confused because we stubbornly refuse to ask for help. We drive on the interstate of life with no internal GPS to guide our wavering and doubting souls. We are pilgrims without a plan. Trekkers without a map.  Wanderers with no home. Confusion is deeply spiritual. When you know who you are, you'll know where to go...and what to do....and who to be with.

  We educate our minds, train our bodies, soothe our emotions and starve our spirits. No wonder we're confused! Your 'inside' person is who you really are. Instead of being mishaped, distorted, manipulated and controlled by external and ever changing trends, we need to discover and nurture our spiritual lives on absolute truth.

  Proverbs 4:23 instructs us, "Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life". When was the last time you were quiet enough to hear your heart reflect and guide your life? Your conscience is a gift from God and you ignore it at your own peril. When we ignore the truth of God's word and violate our consciense we 'go dark' and wind up in a place of deep confusion and lostness. The way home often requires a U-turn in the middle of a dark and difficult place. Humility is often found at the end of a long and painful ride in the wrong direction. Perhaps its time to admit you're lost...and begin the journey home to love, relationship and the true you. Your loving God is waiting .... it's time to come home. The journey begins with a simple and heartfelt cry, "Help!". It's a prayer that never goes unanswered.

Jim

The Call

There comes a time in all our lives when we know we need something outside of ourselves to break in and show us the way forward. Often it comes in times of deep disappointment and pain. It might come after the death of a loved one, a fracture in a critical relationship, a loss of employment, a critical illness.
Isaiah the prophet (chapter 6) responded to the death of King Uzziah with a new vision of reality. He saw things which he'd never seen....and he became someone he otherwise would have never been. Tragedy can either be an impetus to a life of meaning or lead us to a place of imprisonment. So much depends on our vision of God....and ourselves.
Isaiah saw God for who he really is. Majestic, on the throne, surrounded by Glory and HOLY. His glory covered the whole earth. In the shadow of who God is, Isaiah also discovered who he really was....a man of unclean lips ( a sinner) surrounded by people just like him. We're all equally lost and equally separated from God until the call comes to our heart and soul.
We were created for something greater than the soley material realm. Buying and selling... sensual pleasure and carnal desires never totally satisfy someone created in the image of God. All of us were created for relationship with our maker. Until we hear his voice beckoning us.....calling us to himself we're only living half a life. There is a VOICE crying out to all of us. We seldom hear that voice. Our small distractions and selfish decisions keep us far removed from hearing what really matters. We insist on our own way. We hear the screaming of the selfish hordes rushing on the broad highway of destruction.
But God comes and touches us on the inside. He shows us our broken places. We sense our weakness. We slow down our movement on the highway of destruction. We turn our ears heavenward and begin to hear the voice calling us home. Our Father touches us and heals us....and remakes us in his image. His call thrills our soul, "Who should I send? Who will go for us?" And with humility and hope, we reply, "Here am I. Send me." He's calling you right now. Slow down, listen carefully....his call is worth everything. Listen for his voice.

Transition: Coping with the Stress of Change

If one word could characterize the reality of the times in which we live, it would be 'transition'. We are all being moved from where we were, to somewhere we've never been. It makes for some unique challenges as we face the uncertainty of unfamiliar places. When the world changes rapidly around us, our emotions, our thoughts and our beliefs get shaken to the core. While we scratch our heads in bewilderment, we feel our 'gut' grow queasy and our jaw tighten. Just what in the world is going on?

The cliches of 'positive thinking' and shallow faith don't cut it in times of raw adversity and death. Just what is real when the world you know comes crashing down around you? We often don't realize just how shallow we really are. When we try to condense truth into a top ten bestseller, we realize that the world doesn't publish the best of advice for real word brokenness. It just won't sell. Uncertainty and hard questions never make it to the publisher.

While we try to figure out where we're going, we forget to look around and see "WHO" we're travelling with. The reality is that the who is more important than the where on this pilgrimage better known as life. We're all on a journey to a forever place. The passages, the transitions, the things we do are all so temporary that if they become our focus we might just miss the reason for it all. What a tragedy to live and never know the reality that life is all about relationships.

While we seek for greatness, meaning and significance we might just miss the One relationship that is meant to define all others. The invisible everlasting Father.... the God of the universe waits for us to open our hearts, our minds, our ears to the voice that makes sense in the midst of confusion.  Three words call us continually from the place just beyond the horizon. The Father speaks them in an ongoing chorus of certainty and persistence, "I love you". While we seek for a job.... a place, a title, a mate, a retirement plan, a whatever...... God offers us himself and we spurn that everlasting sustenance for a drive through mirage made of sand. How terribly sad!

So often we waste our sorrows. We expend our depression, our grief, our disappointment on a temporary high or experience that can never substitute for a forever love. The God who created us displayed his love in an unconditional abandonment that can never be equaled or surpassed. He took your broken soul and laid himself on a cross to heal you..... to forgive you.....to restore you.

While the world trembles and fears increase, God offers himself to hold onto through the turbulence.... the pain, the tears and the fears. Transition isn't meant to destroy us. It's meant to cause us to look beyond the face we see in the mirror. Yes, we're broken. But the God who loves broken people is looking out through the other side of the mirror with a face of acceptance and not condemnation. He's smiling.... and waiting for us to come home to the place that never changes.... to his house. Sit down and rest awhile. He's got time.....lots of time. He's got forever in his hands and plenty of room for you.... for me.... for all of us. Welcome home.

Jim

Direction and God's word

   In our desire to be in the 'right place' in life we can never separate direction from truth. There has to be an absolute standard regarding morality, values and wisdom. When you have multiple standards of 'right and wrong', you have confusion and uncertainty. When you cease to believe in where you're going, failure is the inevitable result. You must be sure of where you're going and confident in your purpose before you can ever expect to achieve any measure of success.

  In biblical history one of the most spectacular journeys of faith didn't begin very well for the nation of Israel. For a generation, in spite of great leadership, the people of God failed to get to where they were going. They had clear direction, desire and the Spirit was with them but they still failed to get to their 'promised land'. Just what went wrong?

  Due to a lack of sustained commitment to God, the majority of the first generation of God's people leaving Egypt died in the desert. Moses apprentice (Joshua) wound up with the task of finally taking the people into the place God had prepared for them. God spoke to Joshua clearly on how to get the job done and move into the promised place prepared for the people of God, "Be strong and courageous. Obey all the laws Moses gave you. Do not turn away from them, and you will be successful in everything you do. Study this book of the law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed. I command you--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua chapter 1, vs 7-9)

  When we commit ourselves to a life of obedience to God's revealed truth we don't ensure an easy road in life. We do ensure that we'll get to where we're supposed to go.... and we won't go alone. God's personality, desires, will and purpose are intimately connected with the written revelation we call the Bible. In 2 Timothy 3: 16 we hear the value of truth applied in every area of life, " All scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong with our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right."

  If you don't know the word of God, you can't say that you know him....really. God isn't trying to hide from us. He is continually seeking us out in spite of our rebellion and hard hearts. When we begin to be open to truth, God does not hesitate to lavish us with a wisdom beyond ourselves. The Bible is meant to be an ongoing and always current love letter which continually nourishes, guides,  and brings life. Our need for direction in life is not totally resolved by education, career achievement or the counsel of family and friends. We need an eternal perspective. God wants to give us something beyond a mechanistic 'turn this way' counsel. He wants us to know him.... to love him... to walk with him. It's in the overflow of that relationship that we not only find our way.... we find ourselves....we find our purpose....we find life itself.

  Jesus had so much to say about what really satisfies in life. There are times in life when all our physical needs are met and yet on the inside there is a deep emptiness that haunts our minds and saps our strength. In Matthew 4:4, Jesus gives us some insight, "People need more than bread for their life; they must feed on every word of God."

  How familiar are you with the Bible? Do you understand it as a revelation of God' love to you? How much time are you spending seeking out a relationship with God through his word to you?  God has revealed pure love and truth through his word. Until we yield ourselves to an absolute standard, we're continually subject to the wrong directions issued by people with their own issues and agendas.

  It's time to yield to the word of God which calls us to a relationship that will always satisfy. A forever friend calls you to a forever place where you'll always be home. You'll never be lost again. Welcome home.

Jim

Searching for Forever Love in a Temporary World

On June 29th, my wife and I celebrated our 26th anniversary. 26 seems like a small number when I think of how quickly those years have gone by. On the evening before our wedding, I can remember being unable to sleep as I anticipated our wedding and the reality of the commitment I was making. During our engagement Mary had repeatedly asked me the same question, "Are you sure?" Just prior to meeting me Mary had been engaged to someone else who on Valentine's day had backed out and asked for the ring back. This would leave anyone feeling insecure and in need of affirmation before moving toward marriage. I repeatedly reassured Mary that I was sure I wanted to spend my life with her. But in fact any human being knows that in and of themselves the idea of a life time commitment is both intimidating and challenging.
In the United States we have the highest divorce rate in the Western world: as many as 60 percent of men and half of women will have sex with somebody other than their spouse during their marriage. In spite of the infidelity, Americans remain committed to searching for their 'soul mate'. We spend $72 billion a year on weddings alone! There is this push and pull between "happily ever after" images of marriage and an inability to commit to anyone in the here and now. To put it simply there has never been a bigger disconnect between what what we say we want and what we actuate in our daily lives.
The percentage of married Americans has dropped each decade since the 1950's and the number of unmarried but cohabiting partners has risen a 1,000 percent over the last 40 years. At 28 for men and 26 for women, the median age at which Americans are marrying is at the highest point ever!
Having children outside of a marriage commitment is common now. 41 percent of children born in 2008 in America were to unmarried moms.
While Hollywood and romance novels are replete with plots involving searching for the "one" who will bring ultimate fulfillment our society has left us wondering how to make choices at all. We have produced a generation that loves choice but hates choosing.
The expectations that we place on any future soul mate can seem to border on the Super Hero of Romance: best friend, business partner, hot lover, companion, soul mate etc....
Perhaps on our search for the 'perfect' husband and wife we might just be looking for something else. The first 'marriage' was arranged.... by God. Genesis 2: 18-24 recounts for us the reality of the need that God saw in his created Adam for an Eve. The God given need for an Adam or and Eve in our life does not actually substitute for our need for God himself!
And yet that is what we have done. We have compartmentalized our sexuality from our spirituality. We have substituted a pseudo spirituality of marriage ritual for the God ordained reality of covenant relationship. In the phrase "Happily Ever After" we reveal our naivety and selfishness. A relationship designed for intimacy and longevity can never be based around a goal of 'happiness' at its core. The goal of marriage must go far beyond temporal mood and the insecurity of worldly happiness alone.
For sure marriage will have moments or happiness and seasons of abject pleasure and fulfillment. But the stages of every life involve just as many seasons of trial, tragedy and temptation. There has to be something deeper and more sustaining than temporary 'good times' to sustain and fulfill an empty heart.
God 's call to intimacy in the covenant of marriage goes deeper than our society currently embraces. The traditional vows of marriage of 'in sickness and health... in poverty and wealth.....till death do us part.... seem quaint and dated to a culture that demands personal gratification above all. If we're not happy.... well why go on? We bail out and repeat the cycle hoping for different results.
Could it be that the "God" kind of marriage is more about holiness than happiness? Sacred marriage and true intimacy depend on a commitment that goes beyond transient feelings and emotions. Perhaps God's call to be Holy (whole in body,soul and spirit) is a serious one indeed. Marriage that is lived apart from God's call to intimacy with him and with one another is a failed enterprise indeed.
One of the enduring anthems of the Rock and Roll generation of the 1960's is an anthem made famous by the group, The Rolling Stones. The lyric refrain repeats over and over, "I can't get no satisfaction". That my friend is the song that the world must sing over and over when it denies the truths that marriage so definitively depends on.
Satisfaction in intimacy demands that our creator be involved at every level of our relationships. We are sinners and we cannot ultimately achieve forever love without him. 26 years of marriage with Mary have left me much more than "happy". I am full of satisfaction at every level of my life... and more importantly, I am more aware of my need for God and his love than ever before.
I have searched for love and found it...in God and with Mary.

Jim