From Darkness to Light: A True Story of Hope

Once we had established an eye hospital in the far north of Pakistan I had begun to settle into a routine and didn't want much more adventure in my life. Just getting the hospital established had worn out any need for challenges or adventure in my natural understanding of things. However, God loves people too much to leave us "settled" and soon we understood that unless we went beyond our comfort zones many would never receive the healing of blindness they so desperately needed and so began our travel to remote mountain communities to examine and screen people for cataract surgery. On one such journey about 2 hours from Gilgit where our hospital was located I met a man named Ibrahim.
Ibrahim was in his early 50's and for most of his adult life had been the most powerful man in his village. But over time he had gradually become blind from cataract. His life of power and influence was seemingly over. His family began to shun and mistreat him and he was now relegated to a corner of the house alone in his thoughts. His mind was consumed with thoughts of ending his own life. Just prior to our visit, Ibrahim's one obsession was to find a way to end his life.
When his family and neighbors became aware that our team was in the area they came out to us and I remember looking into his eyes and seeing mature cataracts. We scheduled his surgery and I remember the day we operated on him. Everything we did medically and surgically was achieved with the desire to serve and worship Jesus Christ. Before we operated we always prayed. We prayed for God to help us in the surgery and to do the work of healing through our hands. We pray as the scriptures teach us to pray in Jesus name.
The day after Ibrahim's surgery we removed the bandage from his eye and with great joy he smiled and was overjoyed to see clearly. His first words were, "Jesus healed me". Of course I was a bit surprised that this was his first remark after having had surgery the day before. Surely the surgeon would want to take some credit as well! But upon reflection and after questioning him further I could see the wisdom in his words. He
recognized something we at times only acknowledge as influence or motivation. Jesus had indeed healed Ibrahim for it was Jesus who led us to Northern Pakistan, who had supplied the money to pay for the hospital, the equipment, the surgeons, the nurses, the local staff. Truly, without Jesus Christ, Ibrahim would have remained blind and depressed and perhaps ended his own life. Ibrahim was given some medicines and instructions to help him recover well from the surgery. In time he also received site in his other eye after an additional cataract surgery. Along the way he requested to learn more of Jesus Christ by reading a Bible in his own language. His favorite scripture had a moving and powerful effect on his life. He fell in love with the Jesus who boldly told him, "I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
Ibrahim had sat in darkness and not had either physical light or spiritual hope for a long time. But now he had both and he became a gateway of hope for his entire village telling others of what Jesus had done for him on one dramatic day. His words were quite simply, "The Doctors prayed for me in Jesus name and when I awoke I could see." "Jesus healed me and for that reason I want all in my village to know of this great prophet". The favor and blessing of Ibrahim allowed us to reach out and touch many of his family and friends. While I was tempted to remain in the hospital and serve God there, the love of God compelled me to go beyond... to the remote places where poverty, hopelessness and even even thoughts of suicide dwell too often in abundance. If we claim to love God and won't go with him into the hard places we lie and don't tell the truth. We must go with him to heal, to bring hope and share love. Want to go with me?
Jim

Waiting on a Dream

Waiting is hard. Dreams are born of desire & passion. When our dreams don't develop or come to pass in our expected time frame it hurts....sometimes the delay destroys our hope for the future. We become despondent and even depressed. It's so important to remember that just because something is 'not yet' doesn't mean it will never be. Dreams are spiritual. They come to us from deep inside our souls. They are born from both within and without. Our soul was created by God and he communicates to us often through depositing something of heaven in our thoughts ,desires and dreams.
While we're waiting on our dreams, God wants us to discover him. The bigger the dream the more we need our creator to breathe life into it and us. Faith really isn't an option in life. We all believe in something....or someone. If our faith is misplaced or distorted our dreams will certainly die and our soul along with it. You truly were born to believe....to dream....to love.
Cynicism is a disease of the soul you can't afford to 'catch'. It eats away at your dreams, your desires and your passions. Before your dream can come to pass, you need to 'see it' in your soul before you can see it with your eyes. Cynical people will destroy your hopes and dreams. They have been hurt by disappointment and are intimidated by people with fresh vision and desire. Choose your intimate friends carefully....they will either nurture your passion or put the fire out in your life.
Today, you must choose to be led by your passion and not your hurts. Your injured soul is not a trustworthy guide in a world of pain & suffering. Dare to dream again. Listen to the voice of hope... the voice of love. Dare to dream again.
Jim
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen." (Hebrews 11:1)

"Come Out with Your Hands Up": The Long Surrender of Love

  
The word surrender is not a concept that engages a people or a society that embraces freedom. We don't want to yield control to anyone or anything. We want to 'call the shots' and control our destinies. When we encounter Jesus in the Bible we shudder when we hear his calls to surrender and service. Jesus has the gall to call us to full surrender. Hear it in his bold command, "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." In our church culture we have reduced the cross to a well designed piece of jewelry. But in the historical reality of Jesus day the cross was an instrument of death.
What was Jesus really saying to those who would follow him? When is a "Christian" really a follower of the Christ? Have we reduced the meaning of being a Christian so far that is no longer has any real meaning in line with what Jesus was saying? Self denial? To live on behalf of another? To live for another King & his kingdom (purposes and plan)?
When we reduce Christ followers entry point to a momentary decision based on a formulaic prayer we create a man made 'believer' and not a true disciple. Surrender in the terms that Jesus commanded involves a long surrender....until we leave this life and enter the forever world we call heaven.
Surrender truly does mean to yield control to another. It's a scary word when we don't know the character and person of the one to whom you're yielding your very life. The reason why we have so many superficial 'Christians' is that you cannot yield full control to anyone you don't really know. Before we can follow anyone, we must first know them.
Perhaps in our desire to 'make disciples' we cause people to miss the Christ they so desperately need to know. When we hurry the process of leading people to the great lover who is God we abort the process of new life. What a tragedy to train people to 'be a Christian' apart from knowing Jesus Christ. When we push and cajole people insteady of listening and loving them we do more harm than we imagine. God isn't hiring people to work for him....his call is first to know and love him.... and in the knowing we yield, we surrender, we become.... and we bear fruit.
The long surrender only makes sense when we know to whom we are yielding full control. When we know the love of the one who calls us to surrender we're more free than we have ever been. When we lift our hands in full surrender we find ourselves in a place we were created for.....Home.

Living Your Dream

  Human beings spend a great deal of time dreaming. We spend fully one third of our lives sleeping..... and thus dreaming. Medical doctors tell us that in order for us to live healthy lives we need a certain type of sleep in order to refresh our bodies physically. They call it REM.... short for rapid eye movement which occurs while we dream.  It is in this phase of sleep that the bodies hormones and cellular functions are restored, strengthened and renewed. Put simply, we all need to dream.

  Dreaming is an activity vital to both physical health as well as for the soul and spirit. God has created man with both a physical self and an inner person who is far more complex than just his or her physical reality. We are born with a desire for fulfillment and purpose in this earthly life. We are born dreamers. When we are raised in a healthy environment of nurture, encouragement and provision we are in a place where our dream life can be healthy and positive. When we are abused, discouraged and neglected our soulish life becomes injured and dysfunctional. Our dreams turn to nightmares. The original purpose for which we have been created is sidetracked till we find healing and unconditional love through Jesus Christ.

  When we grow up or find later in life a community of faith, the dreams we have for ourselves find a soil in which they can grow to maturity. A dream is not a reality overnight. A dream has a long incubation period. Every dream is tested by time, by trial, by temptation and by treachery.

  The first temptation for the dreamer is to prematurely share their vision, dreams and hopes with insecure and jealous people. What God is often calling us to is so uplifting and encouraging to us  that it produces suspicion and jealousy in people who are insecure or hurt by their own failures. A wise dreamer holds their dream close to home while growing in maturity and taking steady steps in the direction of a dreams destination.

  A dream from God however true and noble will be fulfilled ultimately in a process of ongoing personal maturity. We grow into our dream as opposed to inheriting it. The bigger the dream. the more personal struggle and adversity needed to shape us into our dreams.  God fulfills his destiny in our lives by "working all things together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose (dream). (Romans 8:28)  You see, God has a dream too. Our dreams need to conform to his will and purposes in our world. Ultimately, our destiny as dreamers needs to be wrapped around character and conformity to God..... "He also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. (Romans 8:29) Personal ego and pride take our original purpose and distort it into an ugly visage of self worship.

  To be drawn into the future with a God given dream life is a healthy and necessary part of a healthy life style. Parents and friends who want the best for those they love should be dream leaders ( i.e. much like cheer leaders) cheering on those they love in prayer, counsel, provision and encouragement. But alas, due to our own selfishness, unbelief and insecurity we often hold back people who have expressed their dreams to us. Sometimes we want people to do 'what we want' or we fear the cost of failure and risk for those closest to us. Faith demands an element of risk..... and failure. When we discourage dreamers we inevitably  ensure the destruction and weakening of faith itself.

  So often in churches we find a generational disconnect from parent to child. We want our children to believe...but when we demand of them a lifestyle and direction that looks just like us, we kill the dream process and ensure a prodigal lifestyle. Running away from parents, church and institution just might be needed for a dream to be birthed in the next generation of risk takers....better known as believers.

  Today, we need to release people to dream and experience a connection with God in a fresh revelation of his creativity and compassion for a broken world. Dreamers need freedom.....not constraint and control. Dreamers need unconditional love and space to fail forward in a broken world in need of change and transformation. Dreamers who are released unconditionally, have something we all desperately need in times of transition and change: The Future.

Jim

Broken Tea Cups and a Pure Heart

  
From 1995 through 1998 I lived in a small village in the mountains of Northern Pakistan known as Sonikot. My poorest neighbors were a family living in a small plot of land directly across the street from us. The family consisted of a woman in her middle 30's who was married to a man 30 years her senior who was in poor health and on his second marriage. His first wife had died long ago. They had two school aged children. The wife and mother whose name is Kukari is an amazing example of love and faith. Though she was extremely poor she was always giving of whatever meager means her garden produced. She spoke a language which had not yet had a translation of the Bible but she wanted to learn about Jesus. We gave her a taped recording of part of the gospel of Mark in her language. She listened to it over and over. When we asked her about what she heard she said this, "why did it take so long for me to hear about this?" and "where is the rest? I believe it all but I want to know more."
Whatever Kukari heard about Christ she practiced and lived. Once I was involved in a horrific truck accident that resulted from an avalance on the notoriously dangerous Karakoram highway. She was my first visitor to inquire about how I was doing. I could see the compassion in her eyes as she inquired about my health.
At harvest time she gave us some vegetables from her limited supply and while I protested she told me to stop and allow her to give as " when I give I never run out, don't stop the blessing from my life."
She invited us to her home for tea. In the corner her husband never moved from his position of rest on the chairpai (a bed strung together with rope. Kukari scurried around to serve us some biscuits and tea. Her hands gnarled and worn from so many years of hard work grasped a tray of precious tea cups. Each cup's edge was broken in a tragic symbol of a broken but precious life. Kukari was giving us her best and we knew it deeply. The power of her service and love brought tears to our eyes. She was giving her all to us in a moment of unique tenderness. Her alabaster jar was being broken all over our lives.
While we prepared to leave Pakistan our wealthy neighbors and landlords began to bicker over our "stuff". They had so much but wanted more. Meanwhile Kukari cried tears of sadness over our departure but never asked for a single thing. She had what she wanted from us... our love and friendship. Nevertheless, we wanted to give her something to remember us and to bless her and so we ensured that she have our tea cups and various household items that would enable her to continue her love of her neighbors.
When I think of Kukari I think of Jesus teaching that "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God'. What she knew of Jesus she lived. What she had she gave willingly. What she needed she trusted God for. And whom she knew she loved. I miss you Kukari. I will see you soon.... in heaven.
Want to be like Kukari?... follow Jesus.
Jim

Following your Heart: Direction & Desire

 We are all born with innate gifts, abilities and desires. In our search for direction in life we do well to pay attention that which gives us both pleasure and a sense of fulfillment. There should not be a massive disconnect between what we do and what we believe. Psalm 37 and verse 4 reveals a profound truth about how to connect our worship and our work in a seamless pattern of satisfaction. "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desire."

 A stale and ritualistic religion will create a wall between who you are at work and who you are in worship. This wall is an enemy of a fulfilling and whole life. When we learn what it means to delight in God we will be transformed in our worship and in every dimension of our lives. To delight means to take great pleasure in and from the relationship we have with God. When God becomes so real to you and your heart is laid bare before him, your worship becomes vibrant and alive. You simply can't wait to be with the greatest lover you could ever imagine. You allow him total access to your life. There are no hidden places in a life of delight and extravagant worship.

  The danger in separating our giftedness from our worship is the temptation to wrap our identity around what we are good at. Our pleasures and talents can easily become a source of idolatry and self worship that might just destroy us. Our desires need to be laid at Jesus feet as an act of surrendered worship.

  A worship that doesn't cost you anything is a false substitute for the real thing. Worship involves the surrender and control of self to another deemed greater and more worthy. If you get your worship right, your life will be right. False and inadequate worship is at the root of every failure in life.

  In the gospel of Mark chapter 14 and verse 3 we read, "Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who had leprosy. During supper, a woman came in with a beautiful jar of expensive perfume. She broke the seal and poured the perfume over his head. Some of those at the table were indignant. "Why was this expensive perfume wasted?" they asked. "She could have sold it for a small fortune and given the money to the poor!" And they scolded. her harshly."

  Extravagant and whole hearted worship will often be viewed as wasteful and dangerous. In fact it is the only form of worship acceptable to God. Half hearted (lukewarm) worship is rejected by God and ultimately never satisfies.  A full surrender completes us more than it restricts us. We are never more fully free than when we yield what brings us greatest pleasure to the God who creates desire.

  Eric Liddell, whose life of extravagant worship was portrayed in the award winning movie Chariots of Fire,  illustrated this principle so well. He said, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast.  When I run, I feel his pleasure." Eric after winning Olympic glory went to China as a missionary and died in a labor camp surrendered to someone greater than himself. His gifts and his very life were offered unconditionally to the God who so loved him that he took his sins away on the cross.  

  What are you doing right now that allows you to 'feel his pleasure'?  Are you in touch with your desires? Have you surrendered them in worship to the God who is worthy? Direction in life is meant to flow out of who God made you to be. If you're lost in life right now, you might need to surrender afresh to the one who put you on the planet. Direction and desire are linked inextricably. You cannot become who you were meant to be.... you cannot go where you are meant to go.... until you learn what you need to learn, right here, right now.... in worship.

A Crushed Hand and a Changed Heart

It was May, 1996 and our team of friends and workers in the eye hospital in Pakistan gathered in my home for a time of prayer. During the night our friends, John and Sarah had a tragedy... their son Joel had fallen out of bed and fractured his hip. Our friends Dr. Herb and Ruth Freisen were staying with us while Herb mentored and worked with us in the eye hosptial. Herb was a very experienced eye specialist who had helped establish the famous eye hospital in Kabul, Afghanistan the Noor Eye Insititue.
While we prayed I sensed a certain level of coldness or burnout in my heart. I frankly had no emotion in my heart as I prayed. I knew it wasn't right and I wanted it to change and I asked God to do something with the condition of my own heart. The prayer meeting broke up early as the Davenport's hoped to get their son flown out urgently for medical care. Things needed to move on and quickly.

Dr. Friesen got into a Suzuki truck and proceeded to back out of my driveway and asked for our iron gate to be opened. My son Joshua (age 7 at the time) began to open the gate and the truck backed up.... but tragedy struck and my life changed rapidly, painfully and even now as I write this note my heart aches with a deep and abiding pain. My back was turned in the direction of my house and away from my son Joshua and the next sound I heard was of my son breathing out and screaming in agony... Dr Freisen had not seen my son and had backed the truck into my son with the entire weight of the vehicle pressed up against his hand. His hand had been completely crushed and chaos ensued. I heard the noise from my son and virtually collapsed in shock. I am a trained ICU nurse and have seen it all but nothing prepared me for what had just happened... I was coming unglued and it wasn't pretty or helpful. I was screaming, "PULL UP, PULL UP, PULL UP" at Dr Friesen so that the vehicles weight would be put off my son. It was too late and instantly his hand was swollen in a grotesque and macabre fashion. My knees buckled and others present were able to help my son more than I could.

We did everything we could do to try to reduce Josh's pain but it wasn't much. Elevate, ice and liquid motrin only go so far and Josh toughed it out while we waited for x-rays. Keep in mind we were in the middle of "nowhere" and the local hospital was awful (we only worked on eyes at our hospital). Our neighbors had a relative who was an orthopedic Doc and I went to the hospital to see what could be done. The X-rays showed that the bones had been crushed and the prognosis was very bad. His fingers were completely crooked and would need to be manipulated in surgery. As I got to the hospital I waited in a long line and the healing of my heart began.. Yes, the healing of my heart began... Joshua's hand would have to wait. God was doing surgery on me in the line. I looked at a child with severe dehydration in front of me. My nursing knowledge kicked in and I saw a dying child right in front of me. As I held onto Joshua, I saw the world a lot differently and a heaviness of compassion and mercy grabbed my soul. I was a wounded man. It has never left me. My clinical and detached self now is overwhelmed by a level of compassion that can't be human. Joshua endured two operations over a period of weeks. I no longer saw things from a 'professional' perspective. I was now one with the wounded. By God's grace and mercy my son's hand over time was healed and he has very strong hands and his toughness persists. But me? I am not tough at all. I am a basket case of emotion and not satisfied when people suffer. I want to see people healed and to live knowing someone doesn't just want to give them medicine or an operation.... someone want to know and love them. I am a wounded healer and glad that while God healed my son, he left a mark on my heart I hope never leaves me.

Jim