Dreaming Backward

  As a child growing up I never wanted to be known as a 'dreamer'. I wanted to be known as someone responsible. Someone who made correct decisions with little risk. I wanted to live my life in the 'sure thing' realm. Get a decent job. Make average or better money. Live somewhere in the middle of 'middle America'. When I heard the word dreamer it conjured up images of irresponsibility. So at the age of 17 with no money for education, I did the responsible thing and joined the military. I would work hard, stay out of trouble, and save money for my education. And about 3 years into my sojourn of responsibility, my world became undone. I found myself in trouble on the inside. I had achieved a measure of success in the military.... graduating with honors in their medical laboratory training schools. I worked hard.... and saved every dime I could. I wanted to be safe. But the safety of a savings account did nothing for my soul. I was flat out empty and going into a danger zone emotionally and spiritually. I needed something more than a respectful safe place. I needed love.

  On August 2nd, 1980 I prayed a prayer that lasted no more than 5 seconds. I cried out to God on the gym floor of a Baptist church for help. I can't recall the words of my prayer but they were probably nothing more than, "Help, I am screwed up!"  Help came. My life has been an ongoing relationship with God who continually challenges me to walk with him to places I would never go alone. By nature I want to hide.... hide from people, hide from danger, hide from myself. But God.... is love... and he won't let me alone!

  Over the last several years I have been dreaming backward.... let me explain. My fears of becoming known as a 'dreamer' stem from observing that many dreamers never seem to amount to anything at all. Their dreams are fanciful, naive and frankly often crazy. But when you walk with God (and this sounds...excuse me...dreamer like) and he speaks to you through scripture it can define your life and change everything. I was reading in the final book of the bible known as Revelation. (Warning.... don't read this book at home alone...it could permanently alter the course of your life) I was specifically reading Revelation chapter 5 and verses 8-10. It describes a magnificent and hard to comprehend scene from heaven. Jesus is at the center of the picture, "When he took the scroll, the four living creatures and the 24 elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and four gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song: You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals; and you redeemed people for God by your blood from every tribe and language and people and nation. You made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they will reign on the earth."

  This vision of the future in heaven has defined my reality.... and my dreams for the last 15 years. While praying in December, 1997 in Gilgit, Pakistan, God spoke to me two words, "International Students".  I spent the next several months praying what those two seemingly disconnected words meant to me and my life. Previously I had told God while I enjoyed living and working in Pakistan I wanted to if possible to serve among people "all over the world".  Long story short I wound up in Mobile , Alabama where for over 14 years I have served the international students at the University of South Alabama.  Since the summer of 2009 I have also been developing along with a team of friends an international church known as "All Nations Community Church".  I have become a 'dreamer'. But unlike most dreams I am dreaming backwards. God has revealed the future to me.... well in fact to all of us... who choose to believe it. He has shown me the future and I want all of my decisions, plans, priorities and purposes to be defined by that future reality which I see by faith.

  I am building a house of love that goes beyond ethnic boundaries to cooperate with a future God has promised us all. I am living among a community of people defined by gratitude and worship of a God of love. We are wrapped together in a garment of many colors.... a rainbow of grace. I am no longer able to be that middle of the road man who won't take any risks. I have been transformed by a God who heard my cries for help three decades ago and will never be the same. Where he goes I go.... what he says I say. I'm dreaming backwards.... into a future....filled with love. I would love for you to join me: www.allnationsmobile.org

Jim

Finding your Way in a Lost World

  One of the life's greatest ongoing challenges is to have the proper sense of direction and purpose for every stage of life. It's not just the young who feel the stress of answering the questions, "So, what do you do?", "Where are you going?", "What's your purpose?", "What are you living for?"
Life is a series of passages and destinations. What we believe to be our ultimate destination is often just a transit station on the way to somewhere else. People are pilgrims. Our journey in life is meant to have guidance and direction that brings an inner sense of completion and satisfaction. Human beings are created by God to walk with him in an amazing adventure of satisfying relationship and accomplishments inspired by love. But why do we get lost so often?
At birth our inner spiritual antenna (our inner person) is broken. We bear an image of our creator marred by original sin (think Adam & Eve). Our whole sense of who we are: our desires, gifting, sense of self etc.. is dependent on the influence of family and friends. Those with stable home influences and friends often develop a healthier understanding of direction and purpose in life. When we are born into chaos we suffer serious consequences. Behind the scenes, God is not absent but working in and out of circumstances to bring us back to himself (redeem us).
We were created with a deep need to know and love God. Our sin (moral failure) has deeply affected our ability to hear God's voice clearly. At times we sense our need for him. Loneliness, depression, fear, anxiety and confusion are often a clarion call that something is not right...something is indeed missing. No one is immune from inner turmoil. The rich suffer equally with the poor from spiritual emptiness and struggle. No matter where we are on the planet, we're searching for our real home.... for a love that can only be fully known in Jesus Christ.
Scripture proclaims our worth and value in stark and striking terms, "For it was you (God) who created my inner person, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well." You are not a mistake. There is nothing random about your life. Both your successes & failures have a purpose...to draw you to the one who created you. Psalm 139 goes on to declare, "Your eyes saw me when I was formless, all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began."
Prayer is meant to be conversational and not an exercise in begging. God put you on the planet and he knows you are in desperate need of his voice and help. But the key to finding direction in a lost world is not primarily based on telling God what you need and desire. The greatest acts of intimacy are always born of listening. Listening implies trust. Listening implies respect. Listening implies rest. And listening allows for love to deepen. It's not about getting what you want anymore. It's all about knowing your lover more. The God of the Bible loves people. Jesus loves you....right now.
Even in the midst of our sin, brokenness, imperfection.... our lostness..... God came.... to bring us back home....with him.
A self centered and self directed life is a very wide and confusing road. It's a crowded and yet lonely road. The way to God is narrow....not because God is narrow.... no far from it. God's road is narrow because it's a two lane path. Room for you and him. He is calling you to walk with him in a unique and meaningful way. He wants to place his arm around you and whisper in your ear, "This is the way, walk with me." Every pilgrim has a unique pathway but the same Savior and God. The tyranny of comparison and jealousy is erased when we finally realize just how profound and precious God's love is. He's crafted a pathway of intimacy for you and him.
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. If you're lost.... if you're seeking direction, purpose & meaning in this journey we call life....it's time to be still and listen for the voice who will not only make a way for you....... He will be your way in a lost world.

Jim

Healing from the Inside Out

  For the last few weeks I have thought continuously about healing.....being well....being whole & healthy. Most of the time when we think of sickness we focus on the physical realm.....we fully understand our need for healthy bodies. When we  break a leg it's pretty obvious what needs to happen and why...we can't walk and the focused pain of a broken bone lets us know where the problem is! Soul healing is just as needed but more difficult to discern and understand. God has created us in an interesting and complex fashion. We exist in 3 coexisting realms: we are body, soul and spirit. We have a body that enables our soul (mind, will & emotional self) and spirit (eternal self created to worship God) to interact in a physical world. 

  Just as our bodies can become injured and sick, our souls can also suffer the consequences of a broken world. It's more difficult to 'see' and diagnose a wounded or ill soul. Medical diagnosis has yet to discover a blood test or MRI that can pinpoint the places on the inside of us that are broken in the soulish realm. There is overlap between these 3 realms and healing in one area does have impact on all the others. When we are well physically  it can improve the condition of our soul and spiritual life.

  Since we can see and observe the physical realm more readily we often know more about the condition of our bodies than the condition of our souls. We have measurable things that we discuss with our physicians and families. The older we get the more we know about cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar and weight. But real healing often never comes to those whose only focus is on the physical. Feeling well is often a 'matter of the heart'.

 We were created for love and relationship. The Bible teaches us we live in a sinful (broken) world where people love imperfectly. From birth, we are subjected to relationships which can be toxic and dangerous to our health. Our souls get injured and often don't show immediate symptoms that something is wrong. We can be well fed, athletic and attractive on the exterior and yet deeply broken and ill on the inside. People who are gifted and trained in counseling and psychology can sometimes help us discover the root cause of our soul injuries and disease. Often by the time we seek for help for inner healing much damage has been done. Sometimes we lose hope of ever being totally healed or well. For those who have been wounded or harmed in childhood, a sense of 'normal' is far removed from reality.

  No matter how severe someone has been harmed in their soul they can still be healed, though it might involve a huge commitment of time and interaction with our loving God and loving people. Our sense of reality is distorted by how we are treated in harmful relationships. When we are abused and hurt on the inside, we don't know what it means to be loved in a healthy sense. We expect to be abused, controlled and injured..... and thus we lose touch with the most essential elements of a healthy interior life: faith, hope and love.

  Hurt people live in a realm of distrust, fear and hatred. This realm is an environment of evil far removed from what we were created to enjoy. Hurt people become so damaged and distorted by this life of darkness that they become carriers of their hurt..... and carry on a vicious cycle of hurting others...even those trying to break through the pain and emptiness of living injured.

  Healing is something we all desperately need. All of us have sinned in some way. There are NO perfectly moral people. Instead of condemnation, a truly Godly response to hurting people is humility and compassion. We need to be willing for God to heal us.... and to become part of a community of people who love people to healing on the inside and outside: body, soul and spirit.  Healing is process. It takes time and relationship. We need one another to be healed. No one gets healed in isolation. We are not truly well until and unless we are rightly related to one another... and to God.

  Perhaps as I get older and after many years working as an R.N. and now as a Pastor, I am more sensitive to hurting people. I want to be well...but I want others to be healed also. More and more I realize the truth that when one of us suffer we all suffer. Our desire for healing truly is not selfish at all. When we get well, we're all touched and impacted by it. Today, I am praying for God to heal me on the inside....and I'm praying for you too. We need to be healed... we must be healed....from the inside out.

Jim

Identity: Finding the Real You

 Do you know who you are? No, I am not talking about your name, your birthplace, your social security number or other pertinent facts you might be asked by a police officer if you are caught speeding on the highway. I am asking a deeper philosophical question about the core of WHO you are. In our search for meaningful lives if we leave the fundamental question of identity unanswered, we will never get to where we were meant to be in life.

  The most difficult questions to answer in life are at their root spiritual ones. They cut to the core of the meaning of life. Why am I here? For what purpose was I born? What does it really mean to be loved? Who am I anyway?

  We develop a sense of identity by the culture and environment that we are born into. We are shaped spiritually and emotionally by the words spoken to us in our childhood. We hear things said about us, even while our own ability to speak is being formed and developed. The power of words spoken over us and to us, shapes our identity and expectations of life. Our view of ourselves and our world can either be accurate or inaccurate depending on the reliability of those given access to our minds and hearts as children.

  When we are born into a home where we are loved, nurtured and cared for in a healthy environment, we are more likely to discover who we really are. The ability to think for oneself, to discover, to explore and to know ourselves is a gift of immense value and magnitude. We must know who we really are before we can find that sense of inner contentment and peace on the inside. When you don't know who you are, you'll strive to be someone else. And in that striving we torment ourselves and ultimately hurt others as well.

  We were born for love. Jesus told us clearly that relationship and purpose are deeply intertwined. In the gospel of Matthew (ch. 22 and verses 37-40) Jesus was challenged by the religious leaders of his day to answer what was the most important moral law in life. Instead of commenting on any specific behavior, Jesus answer challenges our own views of religion and morality, Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and prophets depend on these two commandments."

  Man made religion fails to understand this absolute and fundamental truth: Life is all about relationships.... and relationships to be healthy need to be honest and permeated with unconditional love and acceptance of one another. We cannot discover who we really are until we have been loved unconditionally.

  People were born for love and we will search for it inexorably until we find what we're looking. The challenge in life is to find the real deal before the false and substitutes either kill us or injure us severely. Our soul in its striving for unconditional acceptance and love will sometimes get sucked into the lies and traps of lust and relational abuse. When we don't know the way to love we'll get lost on the journey toward knowing who we really are.

  Fortunately for us, God in his mercy is on a rescue mission to help us find his love.... and ourselves. In an amazing display of the unconditional love and acceptance we all long for he came to us and showed us the way home. In the gospel of John he tell us , "For God so loved the world in this way: He gave his One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." The reality is none of us fully know who we are until we know on a personal level that deep and nearly unfathomable love of Jesus. (John 3:16)

  The love of the world is deeply marred by conditions, expectations and limitations. I will love you if....... The superficiality of the world's love is easily observed by the content of our media and entertainment. We are told who can or cannot be loved based on appearances: waistlines, facial features, skin colors, wealth etc..... the conditional love of the world creates a schizophrenia and uncertainty that frustrates and mars the human soul. We cannot find what we're looking for when the world keeps changing the measuring rod of who we're supposed to be.

  The beauty of grace and love brought to us in Jesus Christ is that you get to be yourself.... and still be loved. When you falter (and you will) you're still loved and fully accepted. Jesus does not toss you out with the garbage of your own failures and sins.... he goes out and gets you and brings you home. And in that love and acceptance you become who you were born to be.... and you find out who you really are. You are a son or a daughter of a loving God. Born for love.... and to be loved forever. Welcome home!

Jim

The Judas Syndrome: Overcoming Disappointment & Betrayal

  When relationships falter and go bad we often are shocked and wonder why. Out of nowhere seemingly solid and close relationships often fail in what seem to be unknown causes. There are many reasons why relationships fizzle and fail but today I would like to describe a serious and staggering collapse in relationship that I call the 'Judas syndrome'. Judas Iscariot was one of Jesus 12 disciples who though selected to follow Jesus Christ as one of the 12 apostles eventually betrayed him for money. Judas heard and saw the amazing teaching and miracles that the other 11 apostles experienced and yet ultimately he chose to reject Jesus and betray him to death. Just what went wrong? When relationships collapse there is often a series of choices that lead to a progressive downward spiral toward separation and 'death' of the relationships.

  A key word to look at and understand in the development and health in any relationship is expectation. At any point in relationship both parties have both spoken and unspoken expectations regarding what the other person should or should not do to maintain or even deepen that relationship. The ability to form reasonable and healthy expectations (and to be able to communicate them clearly) in relationships is a fundamental need in the development and growth of healthy relationships. When we can't communicate what we need or expect in our relationships we set ourselves up for the certainty of disappointment.

  Disappointment can be best be defined as not getting what we want, when we want it. Healthy relationships have a balanced and understanding view of what others can supply in adding value to our lives. When we put people at the center of our lives and subtract the need for God, we ensure an eventual collapse of relationship. Healthy relationships demand we have both a vertical and horizontal flow of relationship. Jesus boldly spoke on this very issue in the 22nd chapter of the gospel of Matthew, " You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments." When we put all of our expectations for love and intimacy on people alone, we create an imbalance. As a result of sin ('heart' failure) we neglect our need for a relationship with God and put people in a place they are doomed to disappoint. No one on this planet can supply all of our need for love and intimacy apart from God.

  Judas Iscariot was called by Jesus to follow him and proclaim his message. But Judas expectation of Jesus was for a political deliverer and source of income. A turning point toward disappointment is unveiled for us in the gospel of John chapter 12 and verses 1-7. Here we see an amazing contrast of relationship. Mary in contrast to Judas understands that Jesus is so worthy of adoration and devotion that she takes expensive perfume to wash and anoint Jesus feet. Mary knew who Jesus was and no expense or act of worship was too extravagant for him. Judas on the other hand who is described as a 'thief' laments the loss of potential material gain for himself. Judas was disappointed. Judas wanted Jesus to be something he could never be and this marked a turning point in his life.... bitterness was at the door calling loudly to his soul.

  When we don't get 'what we want' in relationship we often blame the other person or even God. Our expectations unexamined and tried by truth lead us down a slippery path of disappointment and hurt. When we don't examine our expectations and deal in a healthy way with our disappointments we are potentially on a highway toward bitterness.

Bitterness can be defined as a person marked by cynicism and deep contempt for others. A bitter person ceases to believe in the goodness of the other. There is nothing to believe for in relationship. There is an ongoing burning of disgust centered around the places of disappointment and unmet expectations.  Unresolved bitterness is perhaps the most fatal form of 'soul cancer'. It eats away at our humanity and saps our ability to love one another. It bleeds over into other relationships like physical cancers and tumors spread to other organs and body systems. Unless bitterness is addressed and healed it is always fatal leaving its victim alone in their pain. The end of unresolved bitterness is always 100 percent fatal. There is only one cure and the victim of bitterness is often resistant to swallow it: forgiveness.

  Jesus is God, he is under no obligation to be someone else. Our prayers cannot be used as leverage to get him to do what we want or become someone he is not. Judas wanted Jesus to deliver Israel and provide him with a position and power in a liberated Israel. Jesus had no such intention and Judas was disappointed to the point of bitterness. It ate on him day and night and he was looking for a way to strike at the heart of Jesus. Our disappointments flow out of our corrupted desires. Desires can be pure when we walk in surrender to the will of God.  Desires that are not surrendered to God become sources of tyranny and corruption. Finally in one horrendous act of betrayal,  Judas revealed his ignorance of who Jesus really was. Judas desire for money led him to betray the Son of God for 30 pieces of silver. In an unprecedented act of selfishness he was shouting for all the world to hear, "If I can't get what I want, Jesus won't get what he wants."  Judas got his  money but he didn't get what he wanted or what he needed. Judas hung himself and forfeited the love and relationship he so desperately needed. It's all about love and nothing else will ever satisfy.

  Judas is not an aberration. The temptation to move in the direction of what I call the Judas syndrome is present for all of us. All of us have expectations. All of us must deal with disappointments. And unfortunately we might encounter the dangerous mine field of bitterness. 

  Wounds of the soul are difficult to overcome.  The way out toward healing can seem insurmountable. It's difficult to walk out of darkness alone. We need a community of people who will reflect healing and forgiveness toward us even while we occasionally stumble and fall into sin. We need God.... and we need one another. It's all about love.

The Friend of Intimacy: Faithfulness

  In order to develop and maintain intimacy in our relationships we must have a character quality known as fidelity.  Fidelity is defined as faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray. Intimacy demands loyalty and devotion to whom we are committed. 

  Infidelity in relationships between men and women is one of the most frequently cited causes for relational failure. It is important we understand the why behind the necessity of faithfulness and fidelity in our relationships. When we go back to our 'relational roots' in the book of Genesis we see that intimacy and satisfaction in relationship was a God idea. Men and women were joined in a mutually satisfying unique creation.... the two were united into one. They were completely intimate, vulnerable, satisfied and without shame. ( see Genesis 2:18-25)

  Infidelity is more than an isolated physical act or relationship outside of marriage. Infidelity is rooted in the false belief that we can find 'what we're looking for' in intimacy outside of a committed relationship. It's a lie that plays upon our broken and sinful nature guaranteeing what it can never deliver. The sin trap begins when we look beyond the truth right in front of us to embrace the lie just beyond us. In the context of relational intimacy, infidelity often begins with lust. Lust is defined as unbridled sexual desire. Lust allows  the eyes and heart to wander outside of what is righteous and true. It seeks to take what it wants. It's not rooted in true love...it demands, it grabs. Lust is rooted in selfish desire though it often acts the part of genuine love. Jesus tells us that 'anyone who even looks on a woman with lust in his eye has  already committed adultery with her in his heart'. In a society and culture saturated with sexual imagery, its little wonder we have so few truly committed and intimate relationships. Betrayal is an act that damages all three dimensions of who we are as men and women. (Body, Soul & Spirit)

  Infidelity impacts our physical, emotional and spiritual selves. Once we cross the line of faithfulness in our marriage, we damage both ourselves and those who we claim to love. If you are married and you seek for intimacy outside of a relationship with your husband or wife you are guilty of infidelity and in danger of destroying yourself and your spouse.

  There is something uniquely destructive to human beings when we are guilty of sexual immorality. In 1 Corinthians chapter 6 we read, "But our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise our bodies from the dead by his marvelous power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead. Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man (or woman) take his body which belongs to Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don't you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the scriptures say, "The two become one." But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."

  When we sexually unite with another human we become "one" with that person in every conceivable dimension. There is no such thing as 'casual sex'.  What God created for committed relationship is beautiful and satisfying in the right context. When we take our sexuality and spread it around beyond the safe boundaries of committed love we damage every aspect of our humanity. The intimacy we seek through unbridled sexual relationships often ensures we will never find what we're looking for.

  Real intimacy demands committed and life long relationships which are willing to work through differences, disappointments and disagreements. Intimacy at its core is a spiritual reality that must involve the foundation stones of faith, hope and love. The counterfeits of self, lust and sensuality will never satisfy ultimately. Life long love is built on spiritual substance that will never fail us, never leave us, and never forsake. True intimacy is rooted in a God of love who can make all things new in our relationships. He can heal our broken hearts and give us pure desires. Today, I urge you to forsake infidelity and lust for the real deal of committed love. Intimacy awaits.

Finding Intimacy in a Broken World

Love Never Fails

  The bridge between two human hearts is built with bricks made of trust. Simply put, we can never possibly have an intimate relationship with someone we cannot believe in. In healthy relationships we often speak of being 'in love' but perhaps speak too little of being 'in faith'. 

   Every meaningful relationship you will ever have depends upon trust to grow, develop and mature into intimacy. We must believe in someone, before we can receive love from anyone. You must be found trustworthy by someone before you are worthy of their secret places of the heart. The human soul is fragile and when we give it away without foresight and due diligence we can suffer serious damage and harm.

  What does it mean to have a relationship that is built upon both faith and love? What is faith? "Faith is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." (Heb. 11:1) Faith is not the wishful thinking of an overactive imagination. Faith is based on a reality of truth that enables us to move forward in relationship. In the context of human relationships, faith grows in an environment where people can be counted worthy of trust. When people are consistent in keeping their 'word', faith grows and deepens. Faith is always rooted in a revelation of character. When someone is consistent in their actions and words..... we grow to know and trust them. When someone is consistently displaying the virtues of true love we are able to be intimate with them. Words and actions have to meet in the middle of the bridge we call relationship.

  If someone is not true to their word on a consistent basis, they are not worthy of our trust. You can't really love someone who is inconsistent. You may lust after them. You may seek to change them. You may have a fantasy about them....but you can't love them. Perhaps the struggle in relationships is over our understanding of what love is. If you don't know what love is, you guarantee you'll never truly experience it.

  Let me help you define what love really is by sharing a well known and clear understanding from the New Testament, "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever. ( 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

  We don't 'fall' into love as much as we grow into it. Love and faith are meant to have true substance to them. The spiritual reality is that three things will endure forever: faith, hope and love... and the greatest of these is love. No one is worthy of our 'undying' love who will not lay down their life down for us as well. Our ability to really love someone is rooted in our ability to believe in them. When trust is broken ( and it will be in all human relationships) we need special grace to repent of sin and forgive. A breach in trust cannot be ignored...it must be addressed, repaired and restored to allow the relationship to move forward.

  We cannot repair a broken heart in our own strength. We need an ongoing and never ending source of perfect love in our lives. Jesus longs to be that source.  Jesus said, "The greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends."  Jesus truly laid down his life for us. His love is the foundation upon which all other relationships can be built upon. You can't love someone intimately you do not believe in. You cannot believe in someone who is not faithful and true.  Jesus is all of that and he stands ready to heal and restore our broken hearts. Believe.... and love.

Jim