Turning Point

  With every major transition and change in our lives we face a critical point where we must make a significant change to move into our prepared future. We call these times 'turning points' as they involve an often dramatic change in our physical, mental and emotional position in life. It takes a lot of internal strength to make a significant difference in our world. It seems the prevailing attitude in our world is pessimistic. Pessimism is a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen; a lack of hope or confidence in the future.... Sounds like the opposite of faith to me. We live in a world where 'news' is defined most often as the worst possible series of events edited together in a systematic fashion and placed into a short time format each evening on broadcast news programs on television and the internet. Our minds are being shaped and conformed to an attitude of unbelief. If we are not careful, we might surrender to a mindset that leads us into a pit of despair and hopelessness.

  In the New Testament we are given wise instruction by a man who upon an amazing encounter with God made a huge turning point in his life.  Paul who once had been a religious terrorist made a significant decision to turn around his entire world view and base it on a Spirit inspired revelation of who God was and who he was.  Paul had been captured by the spirit of pride endemic to so much of man made religious systems and it was destroying him and harming others. His instruction to you and me is found in Romans chapter 12 and verses 1-2. "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

  Until and unless our minds are shaped by absolute truth we are subject to the whims, lies and deceptions inherent in a world gone mad with self worship. We find ourselves waxing and waning between the right turns and left turns we must make during times of transition. What do I do when I graduate from college? How can I be sure that this person is the right one to commit to in marriage? Can I really believe in a God  that I can't see with my physical eyes?

  Significant decisions are going to be made in our lives whether we are ready for them or not. Time marches on for both the prepared and the unprepared. For the thoughtful and prepared person there is a destiny marked out for them based upon an  honest self examination and cooperation with the God who put them on the planet.  When you know who you are, you always get to where you're supposed to go.  When we refuse to do the hard work and self exploration of the 'ministry of the interior', we lead muddled and confused lives born along by a survivor mentality. We don't exist to survive. We exist to create, build, relate and to change our world for good!

  In Romans 12 chapter and verses 3-9 we again hear the wise counsel of Paul instructing us to recognize that people are all uniquely shaped and gifted to do some things very well. When you discover how you're shaped and gifted by God you find your place.... find your person.... and find your purpose.  When you become comfortable 'in your own skin', living as you were designed, you find pleasure in your passions and add value to all those living around you.

  Are you at a turning point in life? It might be time to do some internal self examination.  What brings you greatest pleasure?  What are you really good at?  When those closest to you speak of how you impact their lives.... what do they say about you?  As much as your friends can assist you in discovering more about yourself, you need to consider doing a little vertical communication.... prayer is a conversation with a real God whose immense power has created each person on the planet with precious and important gifts.  It's in opening your heart to God that turning points become times of favor and hope and not times of stress and fear. You were not meant to steer yourself through life without a loving guide who has your best interests in mind.  You are loved by an eternal Father God whose desire is to walk with you through all the turning points on your journey through life!

Jim

  

The Rest of the Story: My Journey to Healing

In late October,2011, I received devastating news. On the eve of an international trip to Nepal,  I suddenly began to lose vision in my right eye. An eye exam revealed a potentially deadly melanoma tumor that required immediate attention. My plans to travel to Asia were replaced with an ongoing back and forth journey to the Callahan Eye Center in Birmingham, Alabama. The tumor was large enough to deeply concern the Ophthalmologist and Radiologist who had experience with this rare form of cancer impacting my eye and threatening my life.

  The whole experience was both shocking and hard to grasp. For 5 years of my life I had helped to establish an eye hospital in Pakistan. I had never thought I would be on the other side of the equation in deep need of healing and help. The reports were sobering. Most likely the tumor had been growing for 2 years or more in the back of my eye. Once it became large enough it had begun to press up against my retina causing a lot of bleeding and a sudden loss of vision. Within a few weeks I had surgery to insert a radiation 'plaque' ( a nickel shaped piece of gold embedded with radiation pellets) into the back of my eye. It was to sit in place for 4 days and later removed in a subsequent surgery. Prior to the surgery the radiologist told me what to expect after the surgery. The goal of treatment was to save my life... not to save my vision. This instruction was repeated often and clearly. The hope was to defeat the cancer. The treatment itself would be devastating to my vision. My tumor was located in the area most sensitive to central vision. It would result in a large dose of radiation and most likely result in the loss of all vision other than peripheral(side). It was a sobering prognosis. The Ophthalmologist (Dr. John Mason) was more optimistic than the radiologist and mentioned that he had at times seen people recover a modest amount of vision and I might be able one of those blessed patients.

  It's an unsettling experience to have something potentially fatal growing in the back of your eye. The waiting is the worst... waiting for surgery....waiting to see if it will work.... waiting to see whether or not the cancer might spread.  Melanoma is a deadly disease and once it gets beyond the eye it spreads quickly and usually fatally. As a Christian I believe that God heals.  I had so many people praying for me.  God's presence and power at work in my life were evident all along the journey toward healing. From the moment when I was diagnosed I have felt the peace of God in my heart and mind. I had moments of impatience but was continually trusting that God knew what he was doing as I trusted him with my life.

  Several months have now passed since the initial surgery. For the first few visits to see Dr. Mason he seemed pleased with how things were progressing. He told me it would take about 6 months to see just how effective the surgery and radiation were. Yesterday as Dr. Mason looked at my eye on the slit lamp microscope he simply said, "The tumor is dead!"  Those few words brought a smile to his lips and a sense of deep gratitude to Mary's and my heart..... WOW! Not only was the tumor dead but my vision exam was markedly improved.  I am a blessed man. The journey toward healing over the last several months has done a lot for me far beyond the physical realm. I've written a little about the journey via this blog to help share my heart with all of you who have prayed and given to help provide funds for the surgical and medical care in Birmingham. One thing I've learned for sure is that healing is often a process involving so much more than our physical bodies.  Along the journey I've been touched by God in every conceivable part of who I am. God has healed me..... God is healing me....God will continue to heal me... and I will continue to give him all the praise and all the glory.
God is good.....all the time.

Jim

Priority One

  Any one out there besides me struggling with making decisions? With the pace of life quickening in our culture, it's often difficult to know how to prioritize our daily lives and make plans for the future. Let's take a look at the definition of priority:highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.

  It's an absolute truism that we make time for the things we are passionate about. All of us have the same amount of time in our day... but if we look carefully, we see huge differences in how we SPEND our days. It's good to periodically do a 'time inventory'... to examine ruthlessly how we spend our minutes, hours, days and weeks. Your time is your life!

We order our days too often by the 'tyranny of the urgent' and by the basic human appetites that capture the attention of our bodies. Jesus knew very well the tendency to worry and be consumed by our physical needs above all else.  We want to ensure our physical well being... nothing wrong with that... but  at what cost?  When we ignore the 'big picture' of who we are as humans we risk eating well while living poorly! In the gospel of Matthew chapter 6 and verses 25-33, Jesus hits us right between the eyes with a spiritual view of reality.

As a human being I am subject to worrying about having my basic needs met. Jesus in this passage of scripture takes us on a panoramic view of nature and proves that what God creates is cared for....the birds of the air, the flowers in the field... if God cares for these,  how much more will he care for us? Anxiety is a fruit of a disconnect in our souls. When we try to forge a future apart from our creator, we set our soul adrift in an ocean of doubt and fear.  "If  God gives such attention to the appearance of wild flowers--most of which are never ever seen-- don't you think  he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving." (Matthew 6:30)

For much of the first 21 years of my life I was tormented by worry... I had all my needs met but at my core I could not enjoy it because I was ignoring the most central need in my life. I was not in a real and vital relationship with the God who put me on the planet.  In verse 33 of the 6th chapter of Matthew, Jesus expresses a central truth that we must grasp before our life's priorities can be set in order! "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things (material needs) will be added to you."

Tragically we often live our lives upside down! We run around seeking to get stuff  but ignore our deep need for relationship! You were made to love and be loved. The King of the universe wants you to know, love and enjoy him forever!  His kingdom is found when we yield to the amazing grace that sent Jesus on a divine rescue mission to restore us to relationship and purpose that brings meaning to our physical reality. What a tragedy to think that the meaning of life is to consume the things that never last.  Everything you'll ever possibly need is meant to be provided in the context of knowing God and enjoying him forever.... that's priority one.

Jim

Freedom from Fear

  It was the fall of 1977 and I was living on my own for the first time. In August I had joined the United States Air-Force and spent 6 weeks in boot camp in San Antonio, Texas. Now having graduated from basic training, I was beginning a challenging medical laboratory training school in Wichita Falls, Texas.

  Military schools are known for stripping away any fluff and producing competent technicians in the shortest possible time frame. We would be in class for several hours a day and studying many hours on our own in our 'free time'. For several years in spite of doing well in school I was again coming face to face with fear in my life. I had so much self doubt that when my high school counselor called me to inform me I had been elected into the National Honor Society I had hung up thinking it was a cruel joke!  Fear is a powerful spiritual and emotional force that can paralyze and cause so much internal pain. Now as I began this new challenging school I knew I needed some peace on the inside.

  I can't recall the exact details but I was invited early on by the Catholic chaplain on base to attend a retreat along with a couple of dozen other young Air-force students. I was hesitant to participate but since school was only just beginning and I had the time, I took the risk and went along. The retreat was very peaceful and involved times of reflection, prayer and enjoying the beauty of nature. I remember consciously experiencing a lot of peace but wasn't sure if it would last...it didn't. During the retreat I was given a New Testament. Several times after the retreat when anxiety gripped my heart and the emotion of fear caused me pain in my stomach, I would begin to read the gospel of Matthew which is the first book in the New Testament.

  Each time I would read I would be fascinated by how one particular portion of Jesus words would speak directly to my own inner fears and turmoil. I will quote a portion of that text hear for you, " Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (Please read the entire portion at Matthew chapter 6:25-33)

  I would read and reread this portion of scripture over and over and get temporary  relief.... I knew it to be true but I just couldn't shake that sense of fear that had taken up residence in my 'gut'.  The pain just wouldn't leave.  As school began I studied for no less than 4 hours each day. I was getting good grades and wound up ranked 2nd in my class out of about 35 classmates. But I had ongoing dreams of failure and was literally shocked every time I found out I had done well in our exams.  Fear had taken up residence somewhere inside my soul and I could not seem to shake it.  How could I get free?

  My first conscious awareness of experiencing this fear was at the age of 10.  I had been struggling in our math class and had been bringing home poor grades. One day I overheard my parents arguing in their bedroom about 'what to do with me'.  My mother was giving me the benefit of the doubt but my father was convinced I couldn't handle the work and had something 'wrong with me'.  There were loud voices and strong disagreement.... and at that moment something gripped my soul that lasted for over a decade....fear had found a doorway into my heart.

  Fear is spiritual and it has the power to paralyse and harm even when it has no basis in fact.  I was a good student but I was a vulnerable child and fear moved in and built a home. It wasn't until many years later that I found out that fear could be kicked out of the house of my soul. Even reading the powerful words of Jesus did not evict that overriding pain of the emotion of fear in my life. I needed something more than familiarity with truth to transform my life.

  It's not enough to know about Jesus.  It's not enough to be familiar with his beautiful words of truth. At age 18 I had tried to read scripture as a sort of 'worry cure' but its effects were so short lived that over time I had ceased reading.... and praying. But God's word is powerful and his person is often working in ways beyond our understanding and comprehension.  That inner peace that was fleeting on a weekend retreat was something I longed for and years later it came in a mighty way when I prayed a prayer of surrender to the God of the Bible.  It was on a Saturday night on a gym floor in Anchorage, Alaska that instead of finding  temporary peace, I encountered the Prince of Peace himself.  I took the risk of faith and asked Jesus to save me... to forgive me... to heal my broken heart. Something very real took place on that day and its still taking place today in 2012 in Mobile, Alabama. 

  I'm still tempted to worry and experience fear at times but there is a presence of God in my life that is undeniable and wonderful.  Freedom from fear isn't found in a drug... in a bottle....or in a philosophy of man.  Peace is found in the powerful love of God that believes in us and heals us one moment at a time. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." (1 John 4:18)

Jim