From Dream to Destiny

  Have you ever been at the place of desperation? Desperation is born of disappointment, frustration and an inability to achieve our deepest desires. What we do with our moments and seasons of desperation plays a huge role in where we wind up in life. We were born with dreams deposited and sewn deeply into our soul by the God who fashioned us. You and I are not placed on this planet to be 'underachievers' or to wile away our precious lives with wasted pursuits of insignificance.

  We were born with unique gifts, abilities and desires that are meant to work together to drive us in the direction of our destiny. Often our dreams are ridiculed and scoffed at by a cynical and unbelieving world. Not everyone rejoices upon hearing the heart felt dreams and desires in our hearts. In a world filled with disappointment, delays and often denial of hope, we can often say things and do thing to discourage others on their journey toward destiny. The concept of having a destiny means that there is a specific plan and purpose for our lives that has been predetermined. The New Testament scripture Ephesians chapter 2 and verses 8 to 10 offer a window into how God by grace has prepared a plan in advance for us to live meaningful and deeply satisfying lives. "God has saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is a not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

 Your ability to dream and your beliefs about life are inextricably linked together. Believers dream....and dreamers believe. I'm not talking about nightmares.... I'm talking about having hope and a firmly held belief that the plan for your future is good! Your life is meaningful and your pursuit of that meaning is necessary and vital not just for your future....but for the future of all of us! The world needs dreamers pursuing their destiny in God and with one another. Cynics are too numerous and easy to find. Dreamers who live purposeful, disciplined and sacrificial lifestyles are too few and difficult to discover. Proverbs 29:18 contains some powerful truth about how a clearly defined vision and dream can impact not just our future but our daily lives and decisions. "Where there is no vision, the people perish, but he that keeps the law, happy is he." Another translation says that those of us without vision 'cast off restraint'. It's hard to discipline ourselves when we lose focus or our sense of direction. While our souls have been created by God to search for meaning and a defined purpose, our sinful world has a downward 'drag' effect on noble pursuits. When we lose our spiritual center, we wander aimlessly and pursue selfish and temporary pleasures to our own destruction. You were not meant to wallow in self pity and depersonalized pleasures. You were made for better things than that!

 It's in a real and vital relationship with God and other people of faith that we find our bearings and direction for life. There are no 'lone star' dreamers who achieve their destiny in isolation. You were conceived not just for achievements and accomplishments. You were also born for relationship.  At the center of the universe and lasting reality is a God of love calling you forward into relationship. Your destiny, your dreams and your greatest desires are not fulfilled in a vacuum of isolation and frustration. If you're feeling desperate today, don't waste your frustration, sorrow and disappointment. Lean forward into the future prepared for you. There is a leap of faith that won't leave you hanging in mid air... there is a God of love waiting for you on the other side of the dream. He's good and the plan he has for you is the fulfillment for that deep desire being born in your soul. Go ahead, dream!
More to come..... keep reading the blog!
Jim

Listening for Love

  In the fall of 1994 I was working in Northern Pakistan to help establish an eye hospital there. My mother who had been battling leukemia had taken a turn for the worse and I was told to urgently return home. It was thought she had at most 30 days to live. At that time our 3 children were quite young. My daughter Gabriella was just 5 months old as we traveled the long journey home to Malvern, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philadelphia.
  At one point during our time home caring for my mom, my wife and children remained at her parents home in Long Island. One night I heard a loud crash outside my bedroom door in the middle of the night. I rushed out to find my mom having fallen into the bathtub. She seemed confused and embarrassed but not seriously injured. I picked her up and helped her back to bed. At that point I made an internal decision.... I would hear better, I would listen closer so that my mom would not be injured at night by something like what I had just witnessed. Our ability to hear.....or not hear is something we have some control over. People who live in busy city streets or near airports over time develop an ability to 'tune out' the noise surrounding them. I needed an ability to 'tune in' to my mothers movements during her illness. I have always been a 'light sleeper' but now I was on watch for whatever my mom might need.
  During this time I also began to try to listen more intently for the voice of God in my life. I was at a critical point in my life. I was 35 years old. I had counted the cost to serve God in Pakistan. I had quit my job as an ICU nurse, sold our home and possessions and was preparing to spend the balance of my life working in Pakistan as a nurse. But while I had one ear tuned to my mothers needs, I was also dialing in the frequency of what God might be saying to me about my life. God, what do you want? What have you made me to do? How should I be preparing for the future you have planned for me? Do you ask God those kinds of questions? When you take the time to listen hard and you're desperate to know his voice, your hearing vastly improves. One day as I was listening in for God to speak, I heard him say to my heart, "I want you to prepare to be a Pastor." This word from God both surprised and frightened me at first. I had been spending over a decade preparing to be a nurse and a specialist in eye care....now what did God have in mind? There was no clear word from God other than that simple phrase.... prepare to be a Pastor. I didn't have a clue what that meant but continued to pray and do what I knew to do. I had always been a student of the Bible including formal study at Christ for the Nations and Liberty Bible College. I am someone who is constantly reading and studying everything I can lay my hands on. But there was now a different focus and purpose behind my study. I began to pray and prepare with no specific time table in mind. I would just listen and wait on God.... and do what he said, one step at a time.
  I returned to Pakistan and spent 4 more years working there and completed my goal of helping establishing the Gilgit Eye Hospital as a nurse there. Many years later in 2009, God said NOW to the word whispered to me years ago to prepare to be a Pastor. In the spring of 2009 over 15 years after hearing the word to prepare to be a Pastor, I received permission and the freedom to begin All Nations Community Church.  Listening is hard. Our souls are seldom quiet enough to hear in depth what God might be saying. We have our own ideas, thoughts and plans. To hear God implies a willingness to listen, obey and yield to his authority. Sometimes we hear God say something and run past what has been revealed.... we try to 'fill in the gaps' and have God bless our 'mess'.
  To be a good listener you have to be a good lover. You learn to listen well when your attention and your focus is off of yourself and on the object of your desire. We hear so much better when we allow love to overwhelm our hearts. Do you love God? Do you want to know him? It's imperative that we learn to listen to his voice above all others clamoring for our soul. Intimacy is deepened and strengthened as we respond to his voice above all others. You can trust what the Father wills for your life. He knows you.... he loves you and his desire for your life is what you desperately want as well.  Open your heart, your eyes, your ears and begin to listen for the voice of love.

Jim

Thankful

  One of the great American traditions is the holiday of Thanksgiving. Like all traditions, there are things to admire and things that disappoint. While we reflect on and thank God for his blessings, we also have adopted some conflicting contradictions along the way of our celebration.
  Thanksgiving is one of those family gathering holidays. The American landscape stretches families across thousands of miles. Often in our desire to be with family on this important holiday the long distances traveled by plane, car or bus puts more stress on our already fatigued bodies and minds.... hurry up, I need to get home! We rush and fret and along the way and our 'thankful' hearts often get frustrated and frazzled.
  Once we 'get home' we often encounter people we struggle to get along with. We all have family members with whom we have a less than stellar relationship. The nature of family gatherings is a mixed bag of blessing and burden. We love Uncle Ted.... but what about Aunt Martha? We sometimes struggle with knowing how to handle broken or damaged relationships during a holiday like Thankgiving. Somehow we have bought into the lie that we can't be thankful until and unless all is well in our lives. The truth is that giving thanks in our world of imperfections is a beautiful way to express  and build our relationship with God and one another. Gratitude consists of being more aware of what you have, than what you don't! We are much more wealthy than we realize. True wealth is not a measure of material possessions. The most valuable things in life are relationships. When we put effort and time to nurture and develop healthy and loving relationships, we are investing in what is most important in life.
  The day after Thanksgiving has come to be known as "Black Friday" in shopping parlance. The term refers to the hope that businesses will end up 'in the black' or with a profit. Over the years, "Black Friday" has developed into a manic attempt to get deals.... to grab....to obtain and grasp for satisfaction in things that are meant bring pleasure and 'happiness'. Having just celebrated all that we are grateful for, it seems deeply contradictory to rush out and grasp for more. Having eaten a special meal reflecting on the importance of family and the blessings and abundance of the past year, I wonder if "Black Friday" is  at odds with the real purpose of Thanksgiving. I don't have anything against anyone shopping on that particular day, I just want us all to be careful our hearts are not hardened by the lust for more stuff.
  This Thanksgiving holiday I want to reflect and relish what God has done in my life. I want to be grateful for the relationships that are the most valuable aspect of my life. I am not waiting for the imperfections and broken places to be healed before I rejoice in the God of my salvation. I am choosing today to be grateful. God is good... he's worthy of praise and of my gratitude....right here, right now.  In closing, as you're  reading this I want you to know I am grateful for your friendship. As the author Gary Smalley has said so well, "Life is all about relationships, the rest is just details."
Happy Thankgiving!
Jim

Inspiration

Inspiration defined: A divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate a sacred revelation. God is almighty and powerful and yet in creating humanity he has chosen to use people to communicate and transmit much of his wealth in and through imperfect humans. We often fail him. In spite of our failures, God has deposited a lot of treasure inside of us. The creativity and beauty of an awesome Savior is wanting to be released to bless others and allow people to see that heaven is real.
Our world has been seriously traumatized by our sin and rebellion: greed, sensuality, violence, selfishness, lying, jealousy, murder, disease etc..... run rampant in our societies. There is a sense that things are spinning out of control. When we lose touch with God, we lose hope. When we connect with God through Jesus Christ we regain a sense of hope and belief that change is not only possible but imperative.
God has answers for every issue on this planet, but he is waiting for us to respond to the question of the age, (from Isaiah 6: 8) "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" Our physical, emotional, spiritual and social needs are all met by responding correctly to this call to go not only for God but with him to help others. It's in giving to all men that we receive.
If we go on our own, we fail. If we without knowing him, we fail. If we go without knowing ourselves, we fail. God in his mercy has created us with latent spiritual talents and gifts which are meant to both bless and provide for humanity and ourselves. Romans 12:3 has an important revelation concerning how we are to relate to our spiritual selves in regards to gifting, "For by the grace given me, I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourselves more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you, just as each of us has one body with many members (parts), and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.
You must know and function in your GRACE GIFT to receive the supply that you need for your life. It bears repeating.... YOU MUST KNOW AND FUNCTION in your GRACE GIFT in order to receive God's supply for your life. This does not in any way mean you are meant to live and function in some sort of religious bubble or ministry. Who you are in terms of gifting works in any and every place as God leads and directs. Your supply is dependent on you having in order the 3 words of divine direction: 1.Motivation 2. Vocation 3. Location Motivation speaks to the issues of the heart and communion with your creator. When your heart is right, God can mold, shape and direct you into his perfect will. Vocation speaks of your gifting and the desires of the purified heart... the real you. Location simply speaks on the where you are in time and space. Instead of searching for a "job" in time and space, we need to ensure our heart is right and that we are honest about what we are created to do. If you don't know who you are in God and grace gifting, you are of no use on this planet. Your number one priority must be to remain rightly related to God, yourself and others. Relationships are not peripheral... they are PRIMARY.
Take some time in prayer and meditation and be honest: Am I where I need to be in my relationship with God? Do I really know who I am and why I am here on this planet? Am I sensing that God might be calling me to a new "place" in my heart, vocation or location? Cry out to God and he might justINSPIRE you with his thoughts towards you. When he breathes on you in your spirit, that transmission of life is what you need to have all your needs met according to HIS RICHES in heaven... Praying for you!
Jim

A Dream and a Prayer

In the early morning hours of November 5th, 2009, I had a dream that lasted for what seemed a long period of time and when I awoke it left me feeling stunned. In the dream I was with Mary and my family in a small town in America. We were driving somewhere when we saw protesters in the streets. They were marching peacefully and holding signs. They appeared to be wanting to garner support from the observing public. Suddenly, the protesters threw down their signs and began to commit small acts of violence and were moving toward our car. Like kerosene poured on a fire the mob was spreading rapidly and searching for blood to avenge their grievances. Our family abandoned our vehicle and we were being separated. Suddenly, the crowd had cornered my wife Mary and chased her down a series of concrete steps. I was helpless as I watched Mary fall down the steps and her head hit the bottom step... and I awoke. 

I asked God a question. What was the dream about. The answer? One word: Anarchy. I felt God saying that the troubles that are about to come upon our world are going to force troubled people to violence and actions which will harm many innocent lives. Later that same day I watched transfixed as the news media reported on the sudden attack at Fort Hood by Major Hasan, the traitor. When an individual or groups of individuals believe lies about reality they can moved to do great evil in our world. Ultimately spiritual forces are at war in the minds of the vulnerable.

We desperately need to recover a dependence on truth and love for our lives and our communities. Chaos and anarchy breed repetitive acts of vengeance and horror. If we fail to act now to love our neighbors and stand against evil we could very well see my dream become a reality. I hope it doesn't happen but perhaps we need to do more to build trust and harmony now before the trials of this recession breed more fear. Join me in praying that my dream never happens in real life.
Jim

Waiting on a Miracle

When we're in need it's hard to wait. Depending on the severity of the need the wait gets progressively harder. When we know a loved one whose life is in danger...when we are out of money and bills are due....when the ones we love the most break relationship with us. We want solutions in our most desperate hours and we want them now! For several years I worked as an ICU and CCU nurse. As a fresh graduate working in critical situations I tried to use humor to remain calm in the face of 'code' situations. My co-worker and I Jeff used to look at one another with a silly grin (to calm our nerves) when a patient's heart stopped or other code blue emergency... then we would always say something like 'we've got 4 minutes' (till brain death) and then move deliberately and carefully to deliver excellent care. It's so easy to become emotionally unstable when we finally realize we are not in control of life. In our desperate desire to change our destiny we can become angry and bitter when we don't get what we want....when we want it. It's hard to wait for our miracle.

  Knowing God and loving him doesn't ensure that we will get what we want, when we want it.  In the gospel of John we read of one of Jesus friends becoming ill and dying.  Lazarus had become seriously ill and his sisters Mary and Martha had called for Jesus to come and heal him. Jesus certainly had the power to heal Lazarus.... and he had every intention to do so.... just not in the way and time that his sisters desired or imagined. Jesus did the inexplicable and waited 2 days before moving in the direction of Lazarus. Those two days were critical.... Lazarus died during that time!  When Jesus finally arrived to the home of Mary and Martha, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days! Mary and Martha were in the process of grieving and mourning the loss of their beloved brother when Jesus finally comes on the scene... they proclaim their faith in the power of Jesus to have healed the living Lazarus....but alas Lazarus is dead.

  We all have limits to our faith and trust in God. We don't know what those limits are until we arrive at our own personal 'Code Blue' situations in life. When our child is critically ill. Our spouse dies. Our marriage falters. Our job ends. Death comes in many ways and it often comes suddenly without warning.  Jesus speaks to the grieving family and makes a proclamation about who he is and what he wants to do for Lazarus, "I am the resurrection and the life." Those who believe in me, even though they die like everyone else, will live again. They are given eternal life for believing in me and will never perish." (John 11:25-26) In spite of physical death and all the impossibilities that lied in front of him, Jesus spoke a few words and created a new reality for Lazarus and his family. Entombed in a  cave and wrapped in burial clothes, Jesus spoke, "Lazarus, come out!"  Lazarus came back from the dead. A miracle occurred and an important lesson was learned by all those who loved Lazarus. God cared. God came on his terms. God intervened in the way that brought him greatest glory. God simply put is GOD....and by implication, we are not.

  From 1990 to 1995, my mother battled Chronic Myelogenic Leukemia. I was waiting on a miracle of healing all during this time frame. In the fall of 1994 I was contacted in Pakistan (working to establish an eye hospital there) and told my mother had 30 days to live. I packed up our belongings quickly and informed my teammates I had to rush home. Our family of 5 were hoping to see my mom one more time before she went to heaven. We arrived home and indeed my mother was very ill. During one night while at home my mother went into a semi coma and had a very high fever. Her breathing was failing and I told my father she would likely not live through the night. I called other family members and told them death could be imminent. However, in spite of this my mother rallied and lived much longer than Doctors had predicted. Finally on Christmas day, 1995 ( I was back in Pakistan) her condition worsened again. My mother was born on Christmas day and had told the family she wanted to live until her birthday. On that day though unable to speak she apparently could hear. My sister told her it was her birthday and then she relaxed and went to be with the Lord.  I wanted my mom to live a long, long time.  She didn't.  I waited on a miracle and didn't receive exactly what I wanted. But I did receive so much during that time. While caring for my mother in our home, I heard God tell me things that can only be described as a call. I remember him telling me in December, 1994 to prepare to become a Pastor. I am now the Pastor of All Nations Community Church in Mobile, Alabama. While we're waiting on a miracle, God often does something very miraculous on the inside of us. He shapes our hearts and softens them with compassion and caring for others beyond our natural abilities. Perhaps the greatest miracles of all are what God does on the inside of us. In some ways, the greatest miracles are what God does in and through us to others.

  A few weeks ago I found out I have a cancerous tumor behind my right eye. It's a bit unnerving to know you have something inside of you trying to kill you. Once you realize it's there you want it out! However, once I realized that I had cancer I felt God saying to me, "Be patient, don't worry and don't try to take control. Trust me." I was originally scheduled to have surgery on December 2nd but now it has been delayed one week.  I have every reason to believe that any delay is God designed and planned and there is no reason to fear or be dismayed.  When Jesus found out his friend had died it was recorded in history as the shortest verse in the Bible, "Jesus wept."(John 11:35) Jesus truly loved Lazarus. I believe and know that Jesus loves me..... and he loves you too. While you're waiting on your miracle (as I am) it's vital to remember that.

He's coming. He's coming at the right time. He's coming with the right answer for you and for me.
Trust him.
Jim

Walking Wounded

One of the most unique and fascinating characters in the bible is the Old Testament patriarch Jacob. His name means deceiver. Jacob lived up to his name. He wanted to be blessed. He wanted advantage and privilege in his life and he was willing to do whatever it took to gain the upper hand. But there is a cost to 'looking out for #1' and it is in the area of relationships. No one wants to be used and manipulated for someone else's selfish gain. But that is what Jacob was doing and it was costing him deeply. At a pivotal point in his life while trying to negotiate his way out of trouble, he encounters God in a miraculous and unique way. The imagery is fascinating and challenging to comprehend. In Genesis 32 we see an intense encounter between Jacob and God that leaves the 'deceiving' Jacob with a lasting wound. He is left with a lifetime wound.... a  hip that will forever be 'out of socket' and leave him limping for life.  Even in the midst of pain, Jacob wants something out of the encounter. God being gracious gives him what he really needs..... a new name....representing a change in character.  Jacob would no longer be the deceiver and manipulator. Out of his encounter with God he would be now known as Israel.... one who struggled with God and became a prince of God.
  In our struggles in life... with ourselves and others we often get wounded. Often those wounds leave very visible and lasting marks on our lives. Our bodies, souls and spirits are deeply impacted by our own deceit, disappointments and defeats. What do you do with your disappointments? Who do you go to in your 'hour of need'? Those who impact us the deepest during our times of struggle and adversity are not those who sail through life encountering no storms. In our hour of need we approach those who have successfully navigated their way through the storm. We often find those with visible or invisible scars have both the knowledge and the desire to help us in our time of need.
  At every moment in life when God has begun to stir my soul about what lies ahead in serving him he reminds me of the need to depend totally upon his grace in my life. The world celebrates the strong and the mighty. God uses the weak and the wounded.... the imperfect and the humble.
  Today, perhaps you are feeling vulnerable and weak. You have failed or fallen into a place where you notice your imperfections and weaknesses most of all. Don't lose hope. Keep moving into the direction of God's grace. He wants to give you a new name.... a new vision.... a new opportunity.... to live for him and to reflect his love and grace to a world of walking wounded.

Jim

Embracing Change

 When you mention the word change in any conversation these days you can almost guarantee eliciting a reaction of anxiety or frustration. How can any of us possibly adjust to any more CHANGE in our lives?  In our work, relationships and even our leisure there seems to be an unending need to adjust and adapt. Once we learn a new skill to enable us to cope and live in the present modern world another " 20 something" genius comes along and creates another billion dollar social change we can't live without.

   The 2010 Time magazine man of the year was the founder of the social media giant Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. Mark at age 26 has changed the world and shaken the preexisting internet empires by creating a simple to use tool first developed for communicating with friends on his college campus. In just several years it has gone viral and now impacts over 800 million people daily. In 5 or 10 years, Facebook might be considered old school and perhaps no longer popular at all....unless it chooses to make change a friend.

  In order to live successful and meaningful lives we have to choose to make change a friend.  Change is inevitable, constant and unrelenting. History is going somewhere whether we like it or not! You and I are not the center of the universe! Once we realize this we can get over ourselves and adjust our expectations and move in synchronization with where life is meant to take us.

  You were created by God. If you are at present an atheist or an agnostic, I apologize for my abruptness. Nevertheless, understanding that reality is a necessary precursor to understanding the direction, purpose and destination in life for all of us. When we understand where life is taking us, we are less apt to resist and reject the constant and seemingly overwhelming changes that assault our 'comfort zones'. Instead of lamenting over what was, we should be investing and building what will be! Faith and hope are spiritual  and they enable the willing and cooperative soul to move forward into what will be, with the knowledge that ultimately good will come. Fear, hopelessness and resistance to change are signs of spiritual death and decay. No amount of energy, money or time will resurrect or restore what no longer exists.... and what God can no longer bless. If the past is dead and gone, why do so many people choose to live there?

  People live in the past because they allow an experience, a person or an identity to dominate their reality. Since experiences, people and our personal identity are not static we become overwhelmed when 'time marches on'. Everyone knows about the culture of celebrity and fame that frames people based upon some high point in their life.... the sales man of the year for the product no longer sold.... the washed up former boxer taking too many hits to the head...... the obscure T.V. star doing late night commercials to pull in needed cash. We stop growing and maturing and changing and hoping that we can continue to ride the proverbial 'dead horse' into the future. However, no amount of whining, wailing or wishing will bring back the past glory...it's gone forever.

  When we truly believe in a good God, we will have the 'stuff' that enables us to make change our friend. When we resist the rapid pace of change, we resist the blessing and foresight of our loving God. God is not dead and he is ultimately and completely in charge of history. I find it deeply disappointing that some of the most resistant people to change on the planet are 'religious'. They hearken us back to yesterday....constantly. Yes, I know we can and must learn from our history and the heritage deposited in us. But......faith is a spiritual substance  that takes us forward in relationship with God and with one another..... to a future and a hope prepared for us before the foundation of the world!

 "Faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. For by it our ancestors were approved. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so what is seen has been made from things that are not visible." (Hebrews 11: 1-3) Change is not an enemy, it's a friend calling you into the future....it's the voice of a loving God who is walking before you.....creating opportunities, favor, blessing, provision and relationships that will satisfy you beyond your wildest dreams. Today, join me and God.... and make change a friend.

Jim

Finding Healing for Insecurity

  An insecure person is one of the most dangerous people on the planet...to themselves and to anyone around them. That is a bold statement to begin a brief note about the topic of insecurity. What does it mean to be insecure?  An insecure person is someone who is not confident or sure....uncertain....not firmly rooted, fastened or fixed. Insecurity flows out of identity confusion. When you don't know who you really are as a person, it's impossible to feel secure in oneself. Symptoms of insecurity include fear, anxiety, jealousy and envy.

An insecure person is someone who spends tremendous effort in hiding who they really are. They tend to spend money and time looking and acting like others in their peer group. There is a a tendency to focus on appearances and not on deeper issues of character and commitment. Emotionally and relationally, insecurity breeds a tendency toward holding on to what should be released or rejected. An insecure person ironically has great difficulty in receiving affirmation, forgiveness and acceptance.

  When insecurity steers your soul, collisions and conflict are inevitable. Insecure people tend to have revolving door relationships and friendships. When you don't like who you are, you inevitably don't believe that others are capable of liking you either. This leads to the development of relational schizophrenia. You become adept at developing multiple personalities that you 'wear' depending upon who you are with at the moment. Conflict in relationships for the insecure is inevitable because all good relationships demand some level of honesty and transparency. When people begin to unravel your masks the insecure react and strike back out of their own inherent anxiety and fears. The result is the tendency to withdrawl and abandon... and start the same unhealthy cycle all over again. A lot of people know your name... but no one really knows you. Insecure people are deeply lonely and isolated no matter how busy their social calendar. Since insecure people are seeking for acceptance and love using artificial and ineffective methods, they frequently act out to reduce their inner pain. The acting out can involve sexual promiscuity, abuse of drugs or alcohol or physical and emotional abuse. An insecure person feels a lack of control over their lives. They can't stand being alone, but because of self deception and the wearing of masks they always feel alone. No one really knows a truly insecure person.

  What is the way out of relational prison for an insecure person? The foundational principle in all of life's inner healing is this: God cannot fix something that we deny is broken. The first step to healing is always to admit and reveal our broken places. Jesus profoundly tell us of a progressive healing of the soul that comes when we apply truth to our lives, "You shall know the truth... and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) God wants to transform us into who we really were born to be. He does this by changing the way we think about ourselves. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (Romans 12:2)

  People get lost physically because they don't know where they are. People get lost spiritually because they don't know who they are. God's word provides the answer regarding our identity issues to all who will be humble enough to ask, seek and knock.

  You were born to be loved. You have to know who you are before you know what to do. In an atmosphere of love, acceptance and forgiveness, we become who God created us to be. Insecurity dissipates over time when we know we're loved for who we really are. We can lay aside the masks and self deception and for the first time experience the power and pure joy of relational intimacy. You can be healed of insecurity..... you must be healed. Let's walk into the light of God's love, acceptance and forgiveness together....welcome home...welcome to love.

Jim

Sand and Wind

Here I am standing on the beach gazing at your beauty
My feet, my hands, my eyes, glued to your infinite power
Totally aware of my own weakness, I fall down and lay at your feet
The wind is coming
Your breeze caresses my cheeks while shattering my fears
I brace myself for what is coming, while leaning into grace
The wind is coming

On my knees now, I don't want to go, I must stay and linger
For you, it's you, I must yet know
The shadow is enough for some, but not for me I plead
It's you I want and not your gifts, your presence, not your bread

The wind is coming
It's setting me free,  blowing all the sin away,  and leaving only love
I'm raising hands and voice to say, to you and you alone
Send your wind Lord,  and blow away the Sand

Now I feel your breath Lord, flush against my cheek
I hear the wind and know it's you, not just what you make
Never leave, Never leave,  I'm desperate for you King
The love,  the grace, omnipotence, so close to heaven's gate

The wind is coming, there is room on heaven's beach
Feel the sand like sin blown off your flesh and heaven's fragrance lingering
He's pure,  He's love,  He's closer than we think
The Wind is Coming

Jim

The Call

  There comes a time in all our lives when we know we need something outside of ourselves to break in and show us the way forward. Often it comes in times of deep disappointment and pain. It might come after the death of a loved one, a fracture in a critical relationship, a loss of employment, a critical illness. 
Isaiah the prophet (chapter 6) responded to the death of King Uzziah with a new vision of reality. He saw things which he'd never seen....and he became someone he otherwise would have never been. Tragedy can either be an impetus to a life of meaning or lead us to a place of imprisonment. So much depends on our vision of God....and ourselves. 
Isaiah saw God for who he really is. Majestic, on the throne, surrounded by Glory and HOLY. His glory covered the whole earth. In the shadow of who God is, Isaiah also discovered who he really was....a man of unclean lips ( a sinner) surrounded by people just like him. We're all equally lost and equally separated from God until the call comes to our heart and soul. 
We were created for something greater than the soley material realm. Buying and selling... sensual pleasure and carnal desires never totally satisfy someone created in the image of God. All of us were created for relationship with our maker. Until we hear his voice beckoning us.....calling us to himself, we're only living half a life. There is a VOICE crying out to all of us. We seldom hear that voice. Our small distractions and selfish decisions keep us far removed from hearing what really matters. We insist on our own way. We hear the screaming of the selfish hordes rushing on the broad highway of destruction. 
  But God comes and touches us on the inside. He shows us our broken places. We sense our weakness. We slow down our movement on the highway of destruction. We turn our ears heavenward and begin to hear the voice calling us home. Our Father touches us and heals us....and remakes us in his image. His call thrills our soul, "Who should I send? Who will go for us?" And with humility and hope, we reply, "Here am I. Send me." He's calling you right now. Slow down, listen carefully....his call is worth everything. Listen for his voice.

Shadows and Valleys

  To live a life of faith and dependence on God creates an astounding and challending pilgrimmage experience. Faith yields both great blessing and also great challenges. Faith and mystery are inextricably linked. To live by faith implies a surrender of will and ultimately control. One minute we see astounding and stunning response to our prayers for healing and provision.... and the next minute we see and experience deep sorrow at the unexpected tragedies of death, disease and despair. Faith is real, faith is substance and yet faith often is 'not yet' in terms of satisfaction and fulfillment.

  The Psalmist David who knew and  loved God, expressed it so well in Psalm 23, "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and staff protect and comfort me." Perhaps the greatest paradox in life and in faith is that we grow deepest and more mature in times of testing and not in times of tranquility. The storm draws us closer to what matters...and separates, sifts and silences the less important voices.

  The destination of faith is not dream like contentment but vital, lasting and intense engagement in relationship with God. We are being called not somewhere 'over the rainbow' to a fictitious paradise. No, we are being called to someone... to be with someone...forever. The trials and turmoil are not meant to torment us but to test our faith... and remove the empty profession and artifical proclamation. Do we really believe? It's in the shadows and valleys that we find the answer.

Jim

Why?

When tragedy strikes our first emotional response is to ask the question, Why? Pain and suffering produce a loss of control that we desperately want answers for. When the answers are hard to find and uncertain it breeds an increasing pressure and emotional pain. The prevailing assumption is often that we suffer as a result of wrongs we have done...that there is a direct correlation between our sin and whether or not we suffer in this life.

  In trying to answer the why questions in life we often wind up with more worries and frustration. It seems as if the trials, tragedies and turmoil of life leave us searching for easy answers. There has to be an answer to the problem of suffering....doesn't there?

  I have long struggled with whether or not I should in the midst of a catastrophe or trial to ask the question why. Counselors are almost unanimous with their advice to not ask the question.... at least initially. I tend to agree. But I want to dig a little deeper today. Just because a question is difficult to answer does not mean it should not be asked. I think it's more important to probe a little deeper and ask, "Why, do I need to know why?"

  I think I have an answer for the motivation and consuming desire to know why we are undergoing suffering and tragedy in life. The answer lies at the heart of who we really are. When we look in the mirror we see our physical self (for better or worse) but inside of all of us lies the real person. We are made up of body, soul and spirit. Our spirit and soul connect with an eternal reality that was created to live forever in harmony with God. We can't articulate that eternal consciousness in words but when we are ill or broken in any dimension of our lives we feel a disconnect.... we simply know, "something isn't right."

In the beginning God created us..... and it was good.....all good. Something obviously went wrong somewhere. The Bible clearly tell us what happened but we wax and wane in our actual belief in that revelation. The devastation wrought by sin is immense. We are all being deeply impacted by a cosmic rebellion on earth. So why should that effect me? I want to do the right thing. I believe in God..... I love people......I want peace in the world!

  John Donne the poet put it this way, "No man is an island, entire of itself.....". Our lives are deeply intertwined. Your suffering, your brokenness, your happiness, your blessing, your wealth, your poverty.....are all mine as well. Truly, not a single one of us is an island cut off from the other. No matter how high the walls we build around our castles of prosperity we are all subject to pain and suffering of every conceivable kind. So in the light of this truth, how do we then respond when tragedy strikes?

In the gospel of John chapter 9, Jesus was asked by his followers about a man they saw who had been born blind, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" What a tragedy to walk through life being judged for something we have no control over. In our broken world we have to be careful we don't put people into categories and write them off based upon what we can see with our limited and finite human senses and resources. Jesus answer to this question should bring you great liberty and freedom in dealing with our own faults, trials and uncertainties.... listen carefully to his response. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, Jesus answered.  This came about, so that God's works might be displayed in him. We must do the works of him who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

  Jesus then proceeded to heal the man born blind and the rest of the chapter shows him dealing with the deceptions and hardness of heart of the prevailing religious culture of his day. The truth is that God is light. In the midst of a broken world he is wanting to heal, restore and bring hope. Religion keeps people in boxes of guilt, despair and darkness. The religious mind set wants to have an overriding simplistic approach to suffering in this world that is grossly and tragically wrong. The rain, Jesus said, falls on the just and unjust. In our times of brokenness, the only proper response is to allow God to come in and work his will into our lives. When we surrender to God in the midst of the unknown outcomes of tragedy, light begins to dawn in amazing though unpredictable ways.

  In case you haven't realized it yet, we are not in control. No matter how intricate and detailed your preparations and plans, life throws curve balls! In tragedy, the most simple and heart felt prayers produce the best results. I find that crying out, "HELP!" has been quite effective in my life. I know it is not the most profound prayer but it places me in line with the deepest understanding of God and myself I have received thus far, "God is big..... and I am small."

  Are you struggling with a personal tragedy in your life?  Perhaps you or someone you love is ill, depressed or in a serious financial crisis. I have heard it said that we are all either moving in the direction of a trial, in one now, or just coming out of one. May God grant us the faith to understand that when bad things happen to us he has not stopped loving us. Tragedy can either embitter us or make us better. The choice before us is one burrowed deeply into the will of our soul. The one word that determines everything in our times of trial is SURRENDER.  Surrender of control needs to be based upon a revelation that is both profound and deeply moving, God is love. I cannot reveal that to you. But I can tell you that I have known and experienced that love in the midst of dark days and sleepless nights. Weeping may endure for the dark night of our souls.... but joy comes in the morning.

Much love;

Jim

Right Turn to Birmingham

On my way to Nepal, I took a wrong turn and wound up in Birmingham, Alabama.  A few weeks ago I wrote about my impending mission trip to Nepal. I had spent about a year planning on helping lead a team of people to serve  the ministry of Compassion for Asia in Kathmandu. Just prior to leaving I found out that I have a cancerous tumor growing in the back of my right eye. I have had various emotions hit me over the last two weeks as I process the 'wrong turn' that led me to Birmingham, Alabama. It's one thing to understand and believe that God is sovereign when he does what you want and expect with your life. But what about when our well laid plans are cancelled or altered? Well I am finding out it's not as easy as I thought! I have spent the last 31 years of my life immersing myself in the truth of God's word. It's a really good thing to have your soul saturated with truth. When we're wounded, disappointed and fearful our mind can do strange things. By God's grace which is delivered through prayer and the word of God I've had an amazing peace on the inside of my life during this time.
  Yesterday the radiologist who specializes in cancer treatment discussed my treatment with me. He gave me the facts regarding my prognosis and the effect that radiation will have on the cancer and also on my eye. The facts were stark and serious.... but God is loving and he never stopped talking while Dr. Kim delivered his sobering assessment.  One phrase of God's word has kept coming to the surface of my soul over the last several days...'momentary and light affliction'. I felt God telling me that whatever lies ahead of me must be placed in the context of his ongoing will for my life..... an eternal perspective. The phrase comes from Paul's letter to the church in Corinth. (2 Corinthians chapter 4 and verses 16-18  "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,  while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

  I didn't get lost on my way to Nepal.  I didn't make a wrong turn on my way to Birmingham, Alabama.  The awesome and amazing thing about knowing and loving God is that he never leaves us ..... never forsakes us. His presence and purpose are being fulfilled in my life. So many of you that know me are praying and asking God to heal me. I have heard from hundreds of you via phone calls, texts, Facebook and Twitter. I appreciate your encouragement and love so much!  I am listening to God through this process.  I am still not completely comfortable being the 'patient' receiving the care and love of others. But clearly my right turn to Birmingham involves just that..... being loved, cared for and healed by God and people..... people like you, who choose to think of others and care for them in their time of need.  I feel the love. I receive it with gratitude and deep joy. There are three things that last forever.....faith, hope and love. On the road to Birmingham I am being filled with all three in powerful and challenging ways. Thanks for taking the right turn to Birmingham with me.
With faith, hope and love;

Jim

Light Arises

When you're sure, when you're certain

In spite of pain, when there is no rain

A grain of sand in a world of Ocean

I hear a voice, its calling me

A distant shadow, a speck of light

A warm remembrance in a massive fight

The blood spills out of heaven's gate

A final exhale of love's first dawn

I choose to stay near, while others wander

I won't let go of the breath of life

The loss I'm feeling, won't always linger

For Father's promise holds deep within

It's Friday now, but Sunday's calling

A new frontier of open space

The darkness fades while you're arising

I see your face drawn on my soul

A hand in mine but room for others

A world wide plan of sovereign grace

The voices echo around the tear drop

The risen One has finally come.

Moved with Compassion

Throughout the New Testament gospels we read of Jesus being 'moved with compassion' just before he performed a dramatic healing or other miracle related to the needs of the people he encountered. The word translated compassion is the greek word splagchnizomai which literally refers to the intenstines and vital organs from which deep emotions such as anger and love were said to issue from. What we see in the life of Jesus was that compassion always led to corresponding action and intervention. When Jesus felt compassion it literally moved him.... it changed things from what was to what should be. During much of the 1990's I lived in a remote mountainous area in Northern Pakistan. We helped to establish an eye hospital there in a city called Gilgit. We would see patients in an outpatient clinic and also perform surgery on those patients with operable conditions such as cataracts. Unfortunately, we would sometimes see patients with conditions for which we had no medical or surgical cure. Most often those conditions related to severe trauma or retinal diseases such as Retinitis Pigmentosa.
  One clinic day I was assisting Dr. Stephen Smith in his office when we examined a young woman in her early 30's who was completely blind. She had no ability to perceive light at all. She was married with two young children clinging to her during the examination. Her husband appeared to be completely distraught. He was looking for hope.....what could we do to change the horrible prognosis he deeply feared.... to care for a wife completely blind and his two small children in a poor village? We were honest with him upon our exam. We had no cure for her condition (advanced retinal disease). Dr. Smith and I offered to pray for this family and to be honest it was hard to do so. I felt almost physically weak as I joined in prayer for this young woman who needed a miracle. There was no immediate answer to our prayer. As she struggled to walk away from us I gazed down the hallway in her direction... it was absolutely heartbreaking to see her holding tightly to her husband with the children grasping at her flowing Shalwar Kameez. At that moment I felt a deep inner compassion flowing out of me in her direction and I cried out silently, "Oh, God, have mercy....heal this woman." I continued to pray for her and told Mary about this woman when I arrived home that day. She had come from her village a 3 hour journey and returned that same day.
  A few days later we had a larger than normal crowd in our outpatient waiting area and it was louder than normal. There was lot of commotion and one woman was being pushed forward out of turn. People were pointing at her and said she has something to tell us!  The woman was unrecognizable to me at first. It was the same woman who only days earlier had been completely blind. Now that she could see her facial features and her physical bearing were completely different. Her story was that after we prayed she had started back toward her village and gradually began to to see. She began to tell her story to the village and many of her friends and family wanted to come back to the hospital to tell the story and to find out what had happened. We examined her eyes and found her healed.... though in need a mild prescription for glasses!  She left rejoicing and we were all stunned.  It's not every day you pray for a blind person and they see again...but I felt I learned something on that day I don't soon want to forget. I want to be moved with compassion when I encounter people in great need. I want to feel what God feels when he encounters hurting people. I want to see what God sees when he visualizes people in need.  I want to hear what God hears when he listens to the cries of the hurting, broken and needy people that are in my world.
  Over the past two weeks as I have found out I have a cancerous tumor growing in my right eye I have encountered people moved with compassion. Some people have been moved to pray.  Some people have been moved to give. Some people have been moved to speak words of encouragement. Something else has happened during this time. That same feeling of compassion I felt for that young mother and wife in Pakistan has been renewed, deepened and grown in my own heart. I am looking for opportunities and listening to God for ways he can use me again in helping heal others going forward.  I want to be moved with compassion.

Jim

Soul Satisfaction: Intimacy with God

What we seek for in a relationship can determine it's depth and intimacy. There is real danger in our seeking to know God, that our search for more facts and information leads to a false sense of 'knowing' God. We can know many facts about someone without really knowing them. Some aspects of knowledge are limited to the 'public domain', but intimacy implies that the real essence of a person is shared in the context of commitment and trust.
You can know facts about God but not be on 'speaking terms'. Many attend religious ceremonies, say prayers and do various religious acts without ever hearing God speak to them in a personal way. Intimacy at its root is an inner knowing of one another to the point of total satisfaction. When you really know God in the place of intimate friendship, there is an inner satisfaction and fullness that keeps one safe from other false lovers. You aren't tempted toward spiritual adultery once you have tasted the all sufficiency of the perfect Lover, Savior, Friend and Lord.
Are you satisfied in your soul? Do you find yourself falling prey to sensual temptations? Perhaps its because your soul has not fed sufficiently on the greatest lover of every soul, Jesus Christ.
Our prayers, our reading of scripture, our service on behalf of God when separated from the gracious call to sit at the feet of the loving Savior lead to dissatisfaction, frustration and confusion. We must first rest in his presence before we can act on his behalf. There is a progression in our relationship with God that can never be violated. First, we sit in his presence and marvel at his finished work of salvation. Then in the light of his risen SON we walk hand in hand with him and live the life he has given. Finally, in the shadow of his presence we stand and do battle against evil in our world.
The minute I stop embracing God is the minute I begin to lose the essence of life itself. Apart from him... his love, his word, his ongoing grace and care... I die.... slowly, inexorably, my life is totally dependent on Jesus Christ... the way, the truth, the life.... and the love of my life.

Jim

When Love Calls Your Name

A lonely place, a hidden hope. A distant thought, A broken part.

From deep within I listen hard, for one true voice to touch my heart.

I'm hoping for a brand new start, I need to know there is real hope.

A whisper speaks, it calls me out. I know your name, I know your heart.

The broken place begins to stir, it hears His voice calling out in love.

Come alive, I know your name, it's love I hold within your frame.

I feel the pain, I shed the tears, but still I hope, I hear my name.

The truth becomes a part of me, I am loved in spite of pain.

I begin to stir in places deep, I feel the power of love's pure rain

I come alive, I grow within, in spite of pain, I hear my name.

The beauty of his deep pure love sets me free from where I've been.

I'm coming out of my dark cave, I hear the voice that knows my name.

He sees inside my darkest place and still calls out, I know your pain.

The choice is his to love me still and call again, I know your name.

The light begins to dawn within, I'm coming out to trust again.

The hope we need is not for sale. We can't buy or grasp what heaven gives.

The purest love is what we need, to set us free from life's dark hate.

We all can be, what we desire, when heaven calls our souls alive.

The secret place, the hidden faults, the pain and brokenness of all our hearts

Is healed, when love calls our names

Jim